AirBnB Guest terminal illness

[Zazz101]

Hi, I am looking for suggestions. I rent out my house on airBnB and I have just found out that my next guest has a terminal illness.

They have organised a family get together. I would love to do something to make this an extra special time for them all. I know I could just knock money off the house, but they are wanting to make memories, and I would like to do something to ensure it’s a lovely holiday for them.

My only contact is the person that is ill, so I cannot ask them for any ideas.

so please, if anyone has any suggestions, please let me know.

Could you potentially add some personalised decorations they could take home, e.g. a personalised bauble with pride of place on the tree?

You’re joking, right.

what a weird bad tempered thread this is.

You'd think OP had suggested something really really odd and over the top.

Very thoughtful OP, world needs more people like you.

Wow. That’s shockingly cold.

Lovely of you to do this OP. You can’t make their pain any lighter but by doing a couple of thoughtful things you will be giving them a sense of being connected and thought about. At times of grief and loss, those little things actually do make a difference. They stay with you as little positive memories in amongst the harder stuff.

I would make sure the house is nice and warm, not too hot though

Have a lovely Christmas tree

lots of ice cubes in the fridge and bottled water by the bed and tissues.

Some freshly baked cakes on arrival

Couple of pairs of disposable slippers.

I wouldn’t impinge on their family time though

A hamper of goodies is great, decorate the house, how about a small (blank) scrapbook album for photos with the word memories on the front as a gift?

I don't think physical gifts (baubles/photo albums etc) are necessary and could be taken the wrong way, depending on whether the person OPs spoken to is the terminally ill person or not.

As I said in my first reply we have been/are going through this situation right now, and while the rest of us are open to talking about the situation, the ill family member absolutely is NOT. They don't want to talk about their wishes, that they are on borrowed time, and they are much happier with us all essentially pretending everything is normal and fine. Things like special gifts that are bringing attention to this fact would not be appreciated from a 3rd party and would potentially have put a downer on the mood. We obviously all know what is going on and away from the ill family member its one of our most spoken about subjects at the moment, but it's not to be spoken about around them as they will get upset which comes out as anger/grumpiness.

It's not a healthy way to deal with it but that's what it's like at the moment at least for us (they aren't elderly, which makes it more difficult)

Late check out and relaxed cleaning expectations would have been the absolute most helpful and appreciated things the hosts could have done (our host were not aware of the situation). Having to be ready to leave at bang on 10am was a bit of a downer after a lovely weekend, felt rushed for everyone but was particularly hard on the ill family member in terms of having to get up early.

If OP is talking to the ill person themselves then obviously their guest has a potentially healthier outlook on the situation and clearly doesn't mind it being known/mentioned, but I would still be careful with giving 'things', some people are offended to be seen as a charity case

This is going to make me sound like a right old grinch, but I know quite a few people who hate wreathes because they associate them with funerals. It might be a bit insensitive to welcome your guests with one on the front door.

I'd go along with a really nice 'general' hamper, and if you know the ages of the guests, then perhaps some suitable games if you don't already have them? A Christmas tree & some decorations, and a few special treats for the time of year. If they've got younger children in the group, perhaps put the tree up, but leave the decorations for the children to do so they're kept busy on arrival?

TBH, I'd go back to the guest & ask if there's anything you need to be aware of to make them more comfortable, or should avoid.

I think what you're doing is lovely, and shows what a great host you are.

When you’re dying you really don’t give a fuck what the random air bnb owner does for you. It’s probably the time when you realise what’s most important f in life. And it’s not someone trying to make themselves feel good

A Christmas tree & some decorations, and a few special treats for the time of year. If they've got younger children in the group, perhaps put the tree up, but leave the decorations for the children to do so they're kept busy on arrival?

This thread gets weirder and weirder. Now you want the terminally ill persons family to help decorate the house’s tree to ‘keep them busy?’

maybe combine this with the other post that suggested a personalised bauble with the dying persons name on ‘front and centre’ and then it would truly be a house of horrors

@Xmaswomble Nope, it was just a suggestion, not knowing the ages of the guests. And taking into consideration that the guest might need to have a bit of help from the other adults in the party, so distracting any children involved might make it easier to settle in.

Sorry you couldn't see the nuance there.

When you’re dying you really don’t give a fuck what the random air bnb owner does for you. It’s probably the time when you realise what’s most important f in life. And it’s not someone trying to make themselves feel good

Oh please do one.

When you're dying you're as susceptible to kindness as the next person and so are the people around you.

Not sure why you have the last word on what anyone else might enjoy.

So what is important in life @Xmaswomble ? what is this "probable" great realisation that comes with a terminal diagnosis, is it wanting to spend time with family maybe? make memories for your loved ones that you're going to leave behind, try and make the time you have left as nice as possible? It sounds like that's what OPs client already has in mind, so if OP sees an opportunity to enhance her client and family's experience in some little way then I think that's a nice thing to want to do personally.

I don't know why you're so outraged, by your logic you would never give a gift to someone, never compliment anyone, never volunteer for a charity, never help someone in need, never commit an act of kindness, never do anything for another person purely for unselfish reasons, because if you get any sense of satisfaction out of doing any of those things, then what, you shouldn't do it? they don't count? I'm glad not everyone thinks like that.

It's okay that you don't understand why OP would want to do this, it's difficult to be unselfish if you look at the world in a purely transactional way.

I certainly don't know about Premier Inn, but a lot of nice hotels (especially if you're in on suite floors but really, apart from that as well) provide personalised service / surprises, from little touches to going all out, just fyi :)

I also like airbnbs that provide nice thoughtful extras. Some suggestions here are way OTT but in general, most of the suggestions are not out of the ordinary for any airbnb or non-budget hotel, just FYI!

Oh hallelujah! An untwisted interpretation. The problem is that a lot of people come on here to have a gobat other people. Therefore even the most innocent suggestions have to be twisted into something dark and mockable. And FWIW I struggle to believe prospective customers ( at least not significant volumes of them) are so desperate to be left a few hamper items that they will consider faking terminal illness. Really??

@Bouffe I should have probably clarified, our AirBnB is in a small village but popular holiday destination. The death was a local in the community (not a friend but known in the local community). The family needed somewhere to stay for the funeral and were asking locally for available holiday lets etc. We comped their stay because if felt the right thing to do - more than aware that 'holiday homes' are not always popular to locals. Different to the scenario here.

You do get chancers though - we had some saying they were NHS workers so could we halve the charges 'as they needed to relax and wind down after covid'.

And have to agree welcome packs are absolutely the norm these days - not for overnight stays for for week or so it is expected - milk, bread, local biscuits/cake , tea, bottle of wine etc. Nothing at all weird about enhancing this a little - and when people comment it is just like 'the welcome pack was lovely to receive', they don't itemise the contents so other guests would never know.

Completely agree OP. Perhaps if some of the more miserable and cynical posters had received a few more random acts of kindness they wouldn’t have such a dark view of the world. Just do your little bit to improve things for all and with luck one day the little bits will start to go a long way. I sound like John Lennon …

There is something about this thread that makes me feel a bit uneasy: those of us who don’t think it is a good idea to do something that you wouldn’t do in ordinary circumstances are labelled cold or scrooges (that one aimed at me) and other insults , which suggests that the people who would go all out are much kinder etc. interesting then that such “kind” “lovely” people have all these fierce insults at the ready to throw at people with a different view.

I was just having a conversation with a friend this morning who was talking about how it is sometimes so important just to be present for people without going all out to “make them feel better” to allow them to have whatever it is they are experiencing and not intervene except by being a quiet supportive presence (my friend is quite spiritual).

I assume that your Airbnb is a lovely space which is why the family have chosen it as a place where they can spend time with each other together. Isn’t that enough for op? Leave them to enjoy each other. Do not impose yourself on them in any way whatsoever. Just be a quiet presence in the background ready to help if they need you to.

I would also add that most of the people I know who really understand about acts of kindness are people who never announce themselves or make what they are doing known - these are people who work with the poor all over the world in the most
appalling situations. I have also never heard such people insult others who don’t do what they do. I take my inspiration from them.

Thanks for clarifying. That makes much more sense. Personally I'd find it weird to book a place for a unfortunate reason — funeral, final (or not-so-final) get-together, quiet week to mourn — and be offered money off. This is a business transaction and I know how they work. Polite, professional and arm's-length. But when something's offered free or cut-rate, or you're singled out as special, that changes the relationship.

Apparently I'm miserable and cynical for hanging on in there with a friend for 10 years!

Hugs and appreciation to all the carers currently looking after terminally ill loved ones. They never get the recognition they deserve.

Apparently I'm miserable and cynical for hanging on in there with a friend for 10 years!

Who exactly said that @Bouffe ?

You know it was your comment about " learning a lot from this thread etc. and how to get a free hamper...."

Keep digging though.