Does anyone else fucking hate being busy?

[Justnoenergy]

It seems most people love being busy. Lots of comments about how they feel so much better, it distracts them from any anxiety, they get more productive the more they do, and so on.

I am the complete opposite. I feel a background tension and inability to relax if I have lots of stuff booked that I absolutely must do. It happens with things I really want to do just as much as something like a dental appointment.

I just find the constant having to plan to be somewhere and do the thing very difficult. I'm working very part time and sounds laughable but it feels like being battered against rocks some days.

I suspect I have very low energy even though I'm only in my thirties, due to chronic health issues but I also think it is psychological too, everything feels like constant mental stress and juggling. One of my illnesses is Type 1 Diabetes and dealing with it successfully takes so much mental input despite having the best modern gadgetry. Which incidentally failed last night (common, there is a problem making it temporarily useless about once a week) which means I had 4 hours sleep and spending the day trying to not die of low blood sugar while on my feet for a few hours at work.

Does anyone else detest being busy? Even if you enjoy the things you are doing? Do you feel you need far more down time than others?

I am like this. I live my life in the constant ambition to be DONE - to have nothing that needs doing looming on the horizon. I can't relax knowing there are still tasks lurking over the horizon. It stresses me out. This is one of may ways I fail to 'adult' effectively :P I think it makes me very dull also.

I flip back and forth on this, I get so overwhelmed if I have too many plans, or I have too many weeks in a row with plans (and that includes kid stuff and the gym). On the other hand, if I go too long without plans then I feel a bit sad and detached from society and start to find it difficult to leave the house. I suppose I'm an ambivert..?

That's exactly how feel.
I get overwhelmed if there is too much going on. I absolutely hate having to go out anywhere in the evenings. The worst is if I have all day free and something in the evening - that fucks up the entire day for some reason because everything has to be based around leaving the house at x time for the evening event and then the whole day ends up down the toilet.
But on the other hand if I don't have anything going on for a couple of weeks I start to get anxious about everything under the sun.
I just can't seem to get the balance right.
I have to go out this evening and I enjoy the group I am going to but it's still a pain having to put half-decent clothes on and go out.

As for being busy in general with work, household stuff etc - can't stand it! It stresses me out.

I live my life in the constant ambition to be DONE

I so relate to this but it’s a frustrating ambition because it is of course impossible!

Like PPs, I’m trying to strike a balance. I don’t like being busy and get tired and overwhelmed easily but at the same time, if I don’t keep busy enough, my mental health suffers. I’m always trying to find the middle path!

I absolutely hate it. Next week I have parents evening and a social event. I feel on edge and like I can't relax . I like having nothing to do.

I can relate to this, I really struggle if I have too many plans but I am an introvert.

I’ve got an evening out and lunch with a friend this coming weekend and it’s making me stressed. These are people I enjoy spending time with, it’s ridiculous!

I’ve got a very full on full time job which doesn’t help! At work I am a bit of a perfectionist and only feel I can do my job if I’m keeping all the balls in the air which is virtually impossible so life is draining.

Oh no... just realized I have a hairdresser's appointment this week and an opticians appointment next month. I now cannot relax until these things are done and dusted.

My absolute worst nightmare apart from just busyness is when I have several things to do and little time to do them in. Makes me unbearably anxious.

My dream life is to live in a perfect small immaculate house that needs nothing doing. No job. Grown up children and nothing to do except an occasional food shop and watch TV.

I am an introvert to some degree and I find extroverted people are much better at being busy

I need lots of down time.
Was never the same after having glandular fever in my teens. There was a distinct before and after.

Plus a sleep disorder.
plus menopausal.

but even without all of that I suspect my favourite things would be pottering and reading.

it’s nice to see things in my diary but I ideally need biggish gaps between them.

Im very low energy. Last Saturday I had four naps during the day.

Ahh it's so satisfying to find people who also don't like being busy! It can get to feel like it's a real oddity to be this way.

I wonder if as a few have mentioned it is an extrovert - introvert thing? I'd class myself as a sociable introvert. I seem to need lots of peace and quiet to just let my thoughts work properly, and to feel calm.

What do you reckon the numbers are when it comes to extroverts and introverts? Are we 50 - 50 or are there far more extroverts among us?

A friend of mine says her idea of a good weekend is having an activity in the morning, another one in the afternoon and a third in the evening on both Saturday and Sunday. That is absolutely my idea of hell.

I need a lot of P and Q and quiet days now. The diary is really filling up now until Christmas, and I had to say yet again to dh earlier, ‘Nothing else until January!’ - he was proposing yet another concert or something and we’ve already got more than enough on.

I seem to be getting more and more like my DM - when she was old she would often say in the morning, with a sigh of relief - ‘Thank goodness I haven’t got to go anywhere or do anything today!’
I suppose I should be getting worried, but I’m not.🙂

My whole life has been busy and I loved it, was second nature, until recently! Early 50s and have gone through so much the past 10 years I sometimes wish I could just shut the world and all of my responsibilities off, not talk to anyone, have quiet and look after only me. On the other hand this would mean not counting the blessings for the life I have so I try to have my quiet moments, not easy. Yes modern life is so full on and demanding, work, kids, family, worries, grieving, never enough time, having to prioritise and not being able do everything you want to or see friends as much as you want to. Getting older sucks big time with the weight of the world on your shoulders. All we can do is our best I guess? X

I love being busy but alone with my studies. Being around people is stressful and tiring.

Me 🙋‍♀️ I've never so busy recently! And I love hated it. I need down time and just haven't been able to. The house is a too because I don't have the mental capacity to deal with it after a busy day at work and then a full on weekend with this that and the other

I’m glad you said most - though I don’t think even that is true. Similarly, as other posters have suggested, it isn’t about not liking my own company. I love my own company. I love doing nothing. I also enjoy having things planned to do (either alone or with others).

I loathe it op. I'm a single parent to a primary aged dc working full time and am exhausted all of the time.

So much so that I am almost greatfull that I don't have to go to work or be sociable this week because I have a chest infection that exacerbated my asthma badly enough to land me in hospital. Even then I was glad of limited visiting hours so I could be left alone and in peace for a bit.

I am wheezy and tired and very very sore but I'm not at all busy, and I am quite frankly reveling in my ability to just rest for a while.

That theory doesn't really work for anyone whose childhood was before the mid 80's. What you are saying is that when you have free time, you come up with ways to be busy.
Compared with previous generations everyone on this thread who is working and has children is very busy. No other generation of women were expected to be all things to all people. We threw our children out to play, the children went places without us, were expected to go to bed when told etc. The world was a lot quieter. The ever increasing pension age adds to people's stress.

may I recommend Oliver Burkeman's book Four Thousand Weeks to the thread... it deals exactly with this feeling of 'overwhelmed by busyness'.

There are two issues here - first we have objectively busier lives than ever with an open ended amount of stuff that firehoses at us all the time. And second we have brains that tell us we have to get it all done - we can't relax until we do everything expected of us /that we have committed to.

So the secret is to address both. Prioritise and learn to say no, to reduce the amount coming in.

But that's not going to solve it, as lots of us have actually too much. So at the same time, realise it's all never going to be "done" until we are dead. So find ways to relax and have genuine rest as you go along. That then makes you less exhausted, so you end up with more time for things that are nourishing and fulfilling to you.

Hmm. I'm not sure if it is an extrovert / introvert thing. I HATE being busy when it's constant work and chores. Which my life often seems to be! Even more so when there is a little bit of down time but then you have to get back to whatever job needs doing. But then I love looking in my diary and seeing all my weekends booked up with plans. So which am I? I love being busy as long as it's with good stuff. Maybe I'm an ambient? Or maybe I'm just lazy and hate doing things I don't like doing but an extrovert for stuff i do like.

I hate it too OP but more because I'm a classic introvert and just can't abide too much 'social contact' (whatever form that takes, from friends and family gatherings to dentist appointments!). I'm not an anxious person (quite the opposite actually) but still avoid filling up my diary with 'stuff'.

I think you'll find part of the issue is your chronic health conditions. I find this to, I have chronic migraine, which is so bad that I have botox every 3 months yet I still get 1-2 a week. I just need down time in order to cope with everything. Working part time helps but I still end up with sick days to.

But not being well just takes up to much energy, which means doing lots just exhausts me. Luckily I have a husband who doesn't like doing much so we aren't rushing around with plans most weekend like a lot of people seem to do.

I hate being busy- nothing to do with health or energy. I just like doing stuff at my pace, not having to cram in endless social plans. I struggle if we have plans two weekends on the bounce.

I relate to this but I love being busy, I do know how to zone out from people, find a quiet space to be busy in when I need to and take regular breaks of complete peace and quiet (and I mean complete silence, with no one around me, I love it). I may not thrive from being around people but I can adapt and love to be kept busy, introverts and extroverts can complement each other well and it is certainly possible to work around each other's needs despite the obvious differences between them. I mean I actually like people too, just in small doses! I'm more than happy to tell people I need a little space (and that can happen often!), the majority of people never bat an eyelid as we have a healthy respect for our differences, but there are some who just find me weird too, but who isn't weird? I dont believe in normal!