To think about just leaving everything behind and living a peaceful life of solitude

[Tarbert12]

Work fully remotely, live in a small house somewhere far from anyone I know, get a cat, no other interactions for the rest of my life. Try to avoid the news, just read and see out my time.

I wouldn't necessarily go mad, right?

I think lots of people feel that way. It's a natural response to stress. The world is insanely overcrowded. In 1900 there were a billion humans, today there are eight billion and heading for ten. Future historians will describe the period from 1900-2050 as the period of population explosion. There has never been anything like it in human history, and it's driving us all insane. We're not meant to live like this – to be squeezed onto giant housing estates, to fight through traffic to get anywhere, etc. Any zookeeper will tell you that when you put too many animals in a cage they become distressed and attack one another.

I'm not sure I'd want to be 100% isolated, but I'd be perfectly happy to only interact with four or five people for the rest of my life. I find the vast majority of humans unpleasant or boring. Books are a thousand times more interesting and entertaining. My ideal would be a house overlooking the sea. I'd fill it with books and antiques and spend my days reading, learning languages, painting and practising the guitar.

Tbh, I'm not sure where you'd find a place to isolate yourself OP. The UK is now so densely populated that it's almost impossible to get away from people. I'm in the south east, where the traffic is so bad I hardly bother to go out. If it was a beautiful spring morning, for example, I wouldn't bother driving to a local beauty spot. No point. You'd sit in traffic, and then you'd never get parked. And even if you did, there'd be hordes of people. Plus, instead of birdsong, all you'd hear is the screeching and exploding of car exhausts. Frankly, I can't see the countryside surviving much longer – not as we know it. My local woods, for example, have been hacked down to make way for a disgusting new estate. To live the kind of life you describe, you'd have to go to the remotest part of Scotland or Ireland.

I have three cats.

Live on my own except when my mum comes to stay and when my (adult) kids visit,

Bloody love it.

I get out three times a week - sport and band practice.

That's fine for me.

I spent 20 years raising kids and working in a very social profession (education).

It sounds utterly fabulous (but I wouldn't get the cat!). Do it.....

This is my dream! Except I'd have dogs instead of cats.
I have wondered about the loneliness aspect but at the moment I live in the city, I have friends who continually let me down, so I imagine choosing solitude would be less lonely than having it imposed.

Someone mentioned the stress of cars and traffic jams

Living somewhere with high walkability and good public transport- especially trains to cities - really helps me. Being able to walk out of my house with the dogs into woodland every morning is immeasurably valuable. I don’t use the car Monday to Friday (and I have kids and work full time).

These places do exist (and have jobs, society!) outside of the sardine-like packed South East. It is possible then to have the solitude and access to nature without the crowds and annoying people

Hmmm. Sounds like my life during Covid for 3 months. I'm pretty solitary but wanted solitude really does in most cases turn to unwanted solitude.

I don't know if it's similar, but I've always had a silly thought in my mind about joining an enclosed religious order, when the children have grown up (teenagers currently) and left home. I went to a private convent school as a child and some of the nuns were very inspiring, and seemed content.

I like the sound of that, OP. I mean you could certainly give it a try. You would have some interactions though, wouldn't you? Even if just online as you are now?

I’d love to do it for a year.

I once visited the remote Scottish cottage George Orwell retreated to. I really felt like I could stay there for a while. If the wanted solitude was a certain window of time with an expiry date for returning back to society, it’s quite appealing.

Regarding the loneliness factor. I do have 2 adult DC I get on very well with. So yes, if I didn't have them then quite possibly I would get lonely. As it stands we have pretty regular chats that fulfil any need for conversation. There's also MN! Which is perfect for me as I can join in on conversations that interest me and ignore those that don't! I don't have a partner which, as this point, is through choice. My cats are much better company 😁

When it comes to friends though, well maybe it's me that's the problem! But over the years it seems that either they just want to talk about themselves and I just feel like the "audience", which is no fun for me! Or they're perfectly pleasant but I maybe met them through work or whatever, and after a time I realise we have very little in common. I can do "small talk" but I don't need it and it bores me after a while. I did a few years ago actually realise that this is why I was drinking a lot on nights out. Just to pass the time! When I had that realisation I just thought what's the point?

If you are someone that thrives on interaction then you will get lonely. But I'm not sure we all "need" it or certainly not at every point in our lives. If I get lonely in future I'll do some volunteering and/or join some hobby groups. There's options.

There's a lot of you tubers blogging about remote/solitude life. Very relaxing to watch and no speaking, just me being creepy and watching a day in their life.

There's a huge difference between loneliness and solitude.

Maybe some people are just happier on their own, without the complication of having to maintain relationships with other people?

People are saying that "loneliness kills" - but the fact remains that everyone will die, whether lonely or otherwise.

Good to hear these places still exist. But for how long? People in the south east are going to start moving north and west to escape the crowding, believe me. I'm in rural Essex, which is now so crowded it's beyond a joke. Our quality of life has massively deteriorated because you just can't do anything. For example, I used to go to yoga after work. Don't bother now. I can't face the traffic. England is beautiful on a bright Spring day – nowhere I'd rather be in the world. But I don't visit local beauty spots because I can't park. And even if I can get parked it will often be rammed with people. Everything is just so horrible and stressful because there are too many people jammed into too small an area.

Everyone round here moans about the crowding and endless house building. In the last year, I have heard five different people say they've considered moving to Scotland or the north of England. In fact, I had exactly this conversation with a friend on Saturday. She said the minute a new estate is built in the field next to her she'll re-locate to Northumberland, where she has family.

I used to live on a hill farm all alone 20 miles from town with no car. I kept my horses and went riding a lot. I didn't speak to anybody most days, when I did on occasion it was to thank somebody for a delivery of hay or food.
There was no phone signal at all. The internet and landline went down once and it took them 5 months to repair it (very snowy ?mountains in winter). I didn't speak to anybody. I didn't watch TV.

It was absolute heaven and I'd do it again in a heartbeat. Nobody expecting bloody anything, no having to smiled and trudge through dreary conversation. It was the best time of my life.

I think about this as an ideal often.. I say yesss

Last summer my kids did outward bound for a week and I booked a cottage close by. I had a lovely week pottering around on my own. I hiked, ran, read, watch’s Netflix and drank wine. I mainly ate cheese and biscuits. When it rained I just stayed inside. By the end I was ready to rejoin society but it was definitely beneficial.

I think lots of people feel that way. It's a natural response to stress. The world is insanely overcrowded. In 1900 there were a billion humans, today there are eight billion and heading for ten. Future historians will describe the period from 1900-2050 as the period of population explosion. There has never been anything like it in human history, and it's driving us all insane. We're not meant to live like this – to be squeezed onto giant housing estates, to fight through traffic to get anywhere, etc

This. When will they produce that like button?

There’re far worse issues than a bit of loneliness out there. If that’s all you have to complain about, you’re doing ok.

@JaneyGee yes! And the more of us there are, the more we get on each other's nerves.

You could do it at home to a degree by ' trying it out ' .
Switch off your t.v. / radio/ all devices for a week . Go to bed early , don't set an alarm and wake when your own bodyclock does it . Wear earplugs & an eyemask so that outside influences are not an issue ( assuming you haven't got little ones to consider )

I feel like this OP. I am so sick of people, their drama, work and just ife in general. It feels as if there are constant demands on me. Now we are approaching Xmas and I'm dreading how busy it will be.

I’ve become obsessed with a You Tuber who shoots videos about her life on Svalbaard, a remote island between Norway and the North Pole. She lives in a cabin which just looks incredibly cosy and so much of her life seems like bliss to me. But. There are Polar Bears to contend with. Plus the Polar Night from Oct – Feb when it is dark 24/7 and then 24 hour sunshine from April – August and not sure I could cope with that!

But the peace and quiet…she could easily go days or weeks without speaking to another human being if she so chooses (although she does have a boyfriend who lives with her) and I think oh my goodness, I almost believe I could tolerate the crazy weather and seasons just for that alone.

I spent a winter or an otherwise uninhabited island with no electricity, and no boat drops for weeks in bad weather. It was great. (I was in my 20s).

I already live that life without the cats.
Love it would not change it for the world.
Peaceful blissful freedom.
Best single life ever no dramas no man no kids no worries im living the dream.
My nearest shop is in the village 2 &1/2 miles away my nearest neighbour is a mile away up the road.
Nearest town 7 miles from the village.

tarbert 12 many times recently i've found myself longing for this life 🤔

It's funny how it's always this exact fantasy as well. I call it the 'cottage by the sea' fantasy and it always seem to involve either getting or bringing only the dog or cat. I think they should put it in the diagnostic manual for menopause.

It sounds lovely! On this particular level, I loved lockdowns for this reason. Being forbidden to talk to anyone.