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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask how you made the decision between better house or better lifestyle?

78 replies

fortunatelynot · 21/11/2023 20:10

I am interested how people have made the choice between climbing up the housing ladder against NOT having as much money for other things.

I ask because I earn pretty well and have a mortgage on my terraced house but quite a bit of equity. If I carry on paying what I am paying which is about a fifth of my monthly salary, I will clear my mortgage in ten years in my mid fifties. Odds are, I will overpay and clear it more quickly.

I like my house a lot but, in an ideal world would like two bathrooms instead of one and a semi or detached. Moving up to this would obviously make my mortgage bigger and would therefore mean bigger payments or a longer term.

So, I am wondering…. If you have made this choice, what did you go for? Have you regretted not moving up the ladder or regretted actually doing it? If so, why?

I am genuinely stuck regarding making this choice and I know that everyone has different preferences but would be interested to hear different perspectives.

OP posts:
Portach · 21/11/2023 20:13

Well, what does ‘lifestyle’ mean to you? What would you be giving up in order to pay a higher mortgage?

Youcannotbeseriousreally · 21/11/2023 20:16

I think a nicer house automatically means a nicer lifestyle tbh. I’ve moved rapidly up the housing ladder and I don’t regret it one bit.

Maryamlouise · 21/11/2023 20:19

I would not buy a bigger house and would consider downsizing if it meant we could reduce the mortgage but if we were to stay in the school catchment prices have gone up so much that we would either have to get something really tiny or we wouldn't save enough to make it worthwhile the stress of moving and the extra stamp duty etc. I want to retire as soon as possible though so if I was back in the terrace (admittedly end terrace) I was pre kids would definitely stay, clear mortgage and retire ASAP

hereagain99 · 21/11/2023 20:20

We had to make a similar desicion a few years ago. However we rent and for us it was between staying in a 2 bedroom house and try to save for a deposit, or renting a 3 bedroom house (big gap age between children and it was not possible fornth to share for much longer). We did something and realised that we would have had to stay in the 2 bedroom for too long and it would notbhave been good for eldest child. We decided to move. We may never get to save for a deposit but the space is important and we enjoy the new house.

It depends on your priorities. Only you can decide what's best for you.

Newtonianmechanics · 21/11/2023 20:20

As long as I have enough space then 2 bathrooms or the fact it is detached would not bother me.
I would if didn't have an outdoor area though.
I would prefer to retire early or have life experience.
Lots of people downsize when older too.

TrixieFatell · 21/11/2023 20:22

I have a small terraced house and we did think about buying a bigger house. But it would mean an extra 600 pounds a month. We could afford it but it would mean less money for going out and stuff. My children are getting older and two will have move out in the next 5 years. For me I like the fact I own my house, and I love that we can go out to shows, gigs, festivals and holidays. These are the things I will remember and have memories of, I won't be on my deathbed pleased I had a dining room.

Though we will consider an extension if the interest rates come down and the repayments don't exceed 200 pounds a month

Original poster
fortunatelynot · 21/11/2023 20:24

Thanks for your replies.

I think the comment about 'lifestyle' being the house you live in is true. I suppose that is where I am trying to work out how I feel. I am actually not a materialistic person; my main expense at the moment is helping my older son through uni (I'm a single parent) but that is not forever. Ongoing I envisage travelling to a greater extent than I have in the past so that would be where there would have to be a balance.

OP posts:
AnxiousAboutNeighbour · 21/11/2023 20:27

We kept moving until we reached our “good enough” location and size of property. We are mortgage free (late 40s) and using our spare cash to renovate and make perfect. I adore our house - I’d love a bigger garden and a larger bedroom 3 and I’d love to be closer to the town centre - but for that I’d need to spend another £300k+ and I am not sure I have the courage to take that on… I may live to regret that decision!

The way I get happy with our decision is by persistently surfing Zoopla and Rightmove and proving to myself that my “ideal” home is out of budget - either it’s perfect but further way from town centre than our current home, or it’s in the town but it is ugly/needs reno/tiny/massively out of budget.

I did see the perfect house two years ago but then we weren’t in a position to buy. If that house gets put up for sale again, I will move heaven and earth to buy it!

27icey · 21/11/2023 20:30

I'd love to live in a lovely 2 bed cottage somewhere scenic and accessible, but I am single and earn an average wage so that's very unlikely to happen. Instead I have a 2 bed flat on a very meh street and I'm just focussing all my energy on making my home as beautiful and luxurious as possible as I expect to be here for a looooong time.

ABCXYZ17 · 21/11/2023 20:30

What is your location like? I stayed in a flat in an excellent location as I can’t afford a house here, or could but no holidays etc. if I want a house I’d lose the location. Do you need 2 bathrooms? How will you feel having to work in your mid fifties just to pay off the mortgage?

60PercentClub · 21/11/2023 20:35

We had our (perfectly fine for our needs) house on the market and were looking at getting a bigger property with a bigger mortgage just as covid hit. We took ours off the market, my husband was made redundant and we spent 12 months living on just my wage. If we had the bigger mortgage at that point we'd have been utterly screwed. That really focused our minds! We are now both very happy staying in the smaller house but having a comfortable life, no real money worries and we can get by on one wage if we ever had to again.

grayhairdontcare · 21/11/2023 20:39

I've never moved up the ladder.
I bought a terrace house and overpaid the mortgage so I am mortgage free.
That now enables peace of mind and options for a better lifestyle

Original poster
fortunatelynot · 21/11/2023 20:40

Interesting - so many things to think about. I quite like my area; it would just be more the type of house; I have fab neighbours but always worry a bit if it changed.

OP posts:
Housenoob · 21/11/2023 20:44

Last year we moved from our terraced cottage into a more spacious semi-detached home which we intend to be our long term home.

No regrets at all as it's amazing having a bigger space, driveway etc BUT our mortgage has gone up a lot and we now have nursery fees as well (I have a 2 year old). Of course we did plan for this and can manage, but we've had to adjust our lifestyle a fair bit. Fewer takeaways and meals out, fewer trips away, really have to think about whether I need that new top, etc.

We'd done our old cottage up beautifully but have to accept we can't do the same (yet) with our new house as we just can't afford the furnishings and stuff that we want. Luckily our new house is perfectly livable but when I'm in a bad mood it does annoy me that (for example) the carpets aren't to my taste or all the windows are all different style. Sounds really 'first world problem' I know! But otherwise absolutely no regrets, I can't imagine still being in the terraced house with no space at for my DC to run around in or even have many toys out.

pinknsparkly · 21/11/2023 20:51

I'm honestly not very bothered by houses. We bought our first house in the best area we could afford (which was the second to worst area!). Moved/upgraded house last year due to not wanting our little one growing up there. We'd consider moving again for secondary school catchment area if our local ones are still performing the way they are when we get to that point (couldn't do that in this move due to the cost of childcare and a second maternity leave). But otherwise, if not for the children, we would have stayed put in our cheaper house and spent the extra money on a balance between enjoying life and retiring early!

ScreamingIntoMyPillow · 21/11/2023 21:03

I think the answer to your question will mainly depend on your hobbies and interests. If, for you, a 'good lifestyle' is all about things like nice restaurants, swanky bars, theatre, concerts or travelling, you might prefer more disposable income over a bigger / nicer house.

DH and I are both introverted homebodies. I enjoy gardening, interior design, our pets, hosting friends and family, cooking and a bit of DIY over being out and about. For us more space, a bigger garden, an extra guest room, a better kitchen, etc. would be worth stretching ourselves a little more.

HiddenFridgeStash · 21/11/2023 21:27

I choose a small property & therefore small bills

Which meant that I had savings available for other things like holidays, hobbies etc

I spent very little time there, because I was either working, hobbies, holidays or visiting family & friends

You need to decide according to your lifestyle

Hankunamatata · 21/11/2023 21:35

This is us. We could do with extra bathroom and a garage but we will also have the mortaged paid off in couple of years. So we decided to suck it up and not have the stress of mortage payments.

Wendyspotatopeeler · 21/11/2023 21:41

We've done both. Stayed in our small home too long as it was cheaper and suited our goal to be mortgage free. We enjoyed good holidays and I could work PT.

We did eventually move up, the new house has loads of space and is on a lovely quiet street. I'm FT now and we don't go abroad but I love where we live.

declutteringmymind · 21/11/2023 21:47

We have the bigger house and lifestyle but buying anything bigger than you need is a waste of money. Currently every room of our house is used and I still think it's a money pit.

I personally also think the location of a house is more important its size. Our location is the lifestyle choice. It's everything I want - quiet leafy spot round the corner from a trendy upbeat high street in a diverse neighbourhood.

If you're planning to travel as well then a £1000 extra per year in maintenance is easily at least one holiday. Plus if you hit hard times then your lumbered with your equity in your extra bathroom.

Both are lifestyle choices though and I'm sure there's a compromise in there somewhere

MasterBeth · 21/11/2023 21:50

We were always much more interested in prioritising spending money on our house (location prioritised over size of house) than cars/holidays etc. Never regretted it.

dianashilling · 21/11/2023 21:52

We paid off our terraced house in our mid 30s and took out another mortgage to move to a detached. It was the right decision for us, but we are very limited on what we can do outwith the house due to SEN kids. So having lots of space at home where we are a lot, makes sense, and also means we don't need to worry about the kids' noise as much. If it was just me and DH I would rather have a smaller house and more trips out, holidays etc. though.

bluebeck · 21/11/2023 21:54

I downsized to a tiny house after the DC moved out. I absolutely love the location (less than ten minutes walk from the beach) and have lots more to spend on lovely holidays.

I much prefer this lifestyle to having a bigger house and fewer/less fancy holidays, but you should just do what works for you OP.

Yesterdayyesterday · 21/11/2023 21:56

We're in the same position but the cost of the next size up is so much more - 300k at least. That translates into a much longer mortgage and potentially later retirement.

HungryandIknowit · 21/11/2023 22:01

It depends on what your priorities are. I would aim to move as few times as possible as it wastes of a lot of money (stamp duty, legal fees, estate agent commission, moving costs).