To ask how you made the decision between better house or better lifestyle?

[fortunatelynot]

I am interested how people have made the choice between climbing up the housing ladder against NOT having as much money for other things.

I ask because I earn pretty well and have a mortgage on my terraced house but quite a bit of equity. If I carry on paying what I am paying which is about a fifth of my monthly salary, I will clear my mortgage in ten years in my mid fifties. Odds are, I will overpay and clear it more quickly.

I like my house a lot but, in an ideal world would like two bathrooms instead of one and a semi or detached. Moving up to this would obviously make my mortgage bigger and would therefore mean bigger payments or a longer term.

So, I am wondering…. If you have made this choice, what did you go for? Have you regretted not moving up the ladder or regretted actually doing it? If so, why?

I am genuinely stuck regarding making this choice and I know that everyone has different preferences but would be interested to hear different perspectives.

Forget the social pressure gumpf of "next stage of life" OP. Do what suits you, not some idea of what "everyone else" does, or seems to do even if many in reality don't.
The Done Thing is just teenage peer pressure with a fake fur cost on.

I read your post and thought it said ‘better house or better hairstyle’

And that actually is what happened here, I had to pick one and the house won (until recently)

We can’t afford everything so we chose the house for a few years but now the needle is swinging back towards concerts and nice memories of occasions. It’s a tough one and not one I actually thought about, I just went with my gut instinct at the time.

I really like our house, but it is TINY. But... by staying put in our tiny house we have money for other things that we prioritise over having a bigger house right now. We'll be mortgage free pretty young, so we've decided to keep it this way instead of overstretching ourselves.

When the kids finish school and we have more disposable income we might rethink it, especially depending on how our careers look by then too.

However, similar to @Yesterdayyesterday the step up to a bigger house where we are is ENORMOUS. So I'm not sure we could ever afford to get a bigger house! At least not here!

We live in a house that is adequate, but would ideally be bigger, and there's a moderately busy road outside.

However we've decided to stay here - we're currently mortgage free, which meant that when DH had a job that was making him ill, he could resign without worrying about money. Being able to get out of a difficult situation, and having time to recover from it rather than frantically looking for another role immediately was more than worth the extra space. It's definitely worth asking whether you could afford a bigger house if your situation changed.

Being mortgage free is a fantastic feeling !

Do you really want to be paying & working until you are 60+ ?

I would do what made me happiest and gave me a better lifestyle - and that could be buying a more expensive house. So that sort of answers your question.

We went big for our first house with no plans to ever move until well past retirement/unable to manage living here anymore. It wasn't because we wanted to 'move up the housing ladder' or 'have a big house' but because it gave us the lifestyle we wanted. We could live where we wanted. Have space both inside and outside to do the things we enjoy. Kids are close to things they enjoy. We have no near neighbours so none of the stresses associated with that. We have land and animals and grow our own veg, etc.

So yes, we went for the bigger house and more expensive one, but simply because we wanted to buy the lifestyle that came with it. Very happy with that choice.

I think it would just depend on what would make me happier. I wouldn't cut out hobbies and travel and fun purely to have a bigger house. But if I was hating life because it was cramped and I had annoying neighbours through the wall and I wanted to enjoy gardening, yes, I would.

For me there is another option that we are toying with. Do we upgrade now but with no intention of paying off the mortgage? As in get the space, extra bathroom etc while our one DC is growing up, and then downsize/move to cheaper place later and cut the mortgage that way? Is this a valid/sensible choice? Any experience of this would be so helpful - sorry to hi jack thread but we are in exact same position!

I think it depends what stage of lie you are in and what your personal priorities are. Me and my husband are early 30s, smallish mortgage and earn reasonable (not one 100k type jobs but enough for us to have some luxuries) we've lived here 7 years and spend the time travelling, eating out, last minute weekends away, nice clothes etc. House is small but did the 2 of us and our dog. However I'm now pregnant with our first and we decided that the area isn't where we'd want to raise a family (no good schools, police in area a lot, no transport links house is too small for a fmaily really and not much garden) so we're moving to a better area with better schools, slightly bigger house with a bigger mortgage. Taking into account that, childcare and rubbish maternity pay, our lifestyle will change significantly, no holidays or eating out etc but we decided that it was right for us as we desperately want to start a family and do that in a better area. Other people 100% could manage in our current house but we feel it was the right choice for us

Isn't it the same thing though? A house IS a major part of your lifestyle!
Anyway it's what you value.
I'd love to live in zone 2 in London. But for my budget that would be a flat. I have four pets and two kids - I need a house. So zone 3 it is. But I'm happy to only go abroad every other year and get my hair cut less often/ go out less - I'd rather my house was nicely decorated. No regrets.

If I were you I'd stay put, look forward to being mortgage free whilst still young enough to enjoy travel and other things like possible early retirement.

We (late 20s early 30s) are about to take on a massive mortgage and I had similar concerns about lifestyle. But we're homebodies. What we do for fun is exercise, read/game/board game/walk, and we want to get a dog. We also work from home and enjoy space away from each other - and we want kids in the next few years (all being well!). So for us, space for our hobbies, a garden for a dog, and space/garden for future kiddos was way more important than money for eating out (which we rarely do), drinking (which we do even less frequently), weekends away, shows etc. We do all of those things but not much, so having less spending money for them doesn't particularly impact us (we're very lucky to have well paying jobs though).

So for us, bigger house did mean better lifestyle - due to our preferred lifestyle. My friend loves travelling and has zero interntions of upsizing because she has enough space and wants to spend all her money on experiences - that's the right decision for her, and this is the right decision for us. We're all different!

What niggles you most frequently in your life, and then think about whether a bigger house would help that.

For us - we live in a flat and didn't want to have a dog in a flat with no outdoor space. We work from home in the same room and have to juggle calls. When one of us has friends over the other person doesn't have much space to retreat. We want a bigger table for board games ☺️ all of those, the house move will help with!

"Kiddos"? Please, no.

Can I just ask: what kind of houses are people describing when they say “tiny”

Interesting thread and one I often ponder so thank you for this thread OP!!

We live in a gorgeous area with a lovely community and good schools. However our house is an Edwardian terrace with no off road parking. The space is fine but the layout makes it so hard to work with and the garden is very small and there’s only 1 bathroom albeit a large bathroom.

In a dream world we’d have a detached house with off road parking, a big hallway and 2 bathrooms with a bigger garden. We could then get more pets!

But if I’m honest with myself:

• a bigger mortgage means I wouldn’t be able to work 3 days a week and still enjoy holidays abroad and doing things.
• We struggle to maintain our small garden and the house as it is, so a bigger house would be a nightmare and slightly neglected.
• When we first moved here from a tiny 2 bed terrace, this house felt like a mansion. So our expectations have changed. We’ve gone from grateful to wanting even more so what’s to say the novelty of the next house won’t wear off? I don’t want to get into the habit of chasing stuff.
• We want to be able to give our kids great childhood experiences like Disney world and a safari. With our current outgoings it’s possible, with a bigger mortgage definitely not.
• financially if the shit hit the fan. Me and DP could work minimum wage jobs and still afford the mortgage and odd treats. We don’t have to earn a lot to live here, heck if DP walked out tomorrow I would be able to stay living here and continue to work 3 days.

so there are way more pros than cons. So I have to be realistic with myself. We’ll stay put unless we come into money!

I have recently climbed off the bigger / “better” / more more more housing ladder. And boy Do I love my lifestyle now!

my ex-H in his mid 60s is considering a massive remortgage on his house for an extension so that they can have a bigger kitchen. I am genuinely puzzled as to why.

We made the decision about 17 years ago to stay put but the compromise was to extend. We had a small 4 bed detached with small garden but in a great location and seriously considered moving to a larger 5 bed detached with about an acre of garden, which is within walking distance from our house but not quite as good location. This would've been a stretch for us at the time but doable. It was realising that the stamp duty would completely pay for an extension on our existing home and the realities of maintaining such a big garden that stopped us moving.

We could've paid off the mortgage on the existing house by our mid thirties but we extended a couple of times instead, and then paid off the mortgage in our early forties. Now early fifties have have been mortgage free for a decade. I've got mixed feeling about it. I think it has made us a bit lazy and a bit wasteful but we never worry about money. Sometimes I'm a bit frustrated by the limitations of the house when I know we could've afforded a house without them. I don't regret not buying the original 5 bed with the big garden though.

I'd have stretched myself earlier on in your scenario, if it had been possible, but not at this point. Two bathrooms I can see would be great while a teenage boy was in the house, but now he's gone to uni and it's just you and your DP, it's not something I'd get into bigger debt for when I could be mortgage-free in mid-50s. Your house and area sounds nice. I'd move for other reasons if I had itchy feet or was unhappy in the area, but I wouldn't move for a bigger house and mortgage at that point.

My mid terrace house is 69 sqm. 2 adults, 2 dcs. 3 beds. No second loo, no parking, courtyard garden.

I've been thinking about this a lot recently. Our house would probably sell for around £400k but a end of terrace/semi would be at least £500k and would require a lot of work.

In theory, we could afford a bigger house in around 5/7 years time as I'd be FT and dcs would be teens so no more childcare costs. However, we'd be late 40s. We already had to take a mortgage until we're 68 to buy this house as ftb. Having to still be liable for a mortgage in my 60s really worries me. Add in the fact that all our life savings have gone on buying this house, that our house needs full flooring, decorating, new kitchen and garden fences and our pensions are crap I'm inclined to just stay here (location is fab) and blow some cash on making my courtyard garden a lush mini oasis. I haven't travelled (DP has) so still have places I want to go to so staying here would enable travel, higher pension contributions and paying off the mortgage by 60. Also have cash for when dcs are teen and want ridiculously priced trainers, money for Costa and uni etc.

DP thinks I'm really risk adverse but I've seen family members in awful health in their 60s unable to work or travel, plus we both hate doing work on the house and think people who constantly renovate are bonkers.

However, there is a part of me that would like a slightly bigger house as I'd quite happily entertain but just can't due to lack of space but I'm not sure it's worth incurring more mortgage debt for and buying another new kitchen etc.

In your position…
if you like the area neighbours etc I’d stick with it and modify/upgrade the house eg add an extension and put a a dream kitchen and downstairs loo or whatever.

you don’t really need more space from the sounds of it.

Our house is a compromise in that its in a good area, but not our preferred area, and its a decent size but not massive. Considered stretching to a bigger house a couple of years ago and so glad we didn't now. This house feels manageable and we could still live here if our circumstances changed. A family member has seen his mortgage payment go up by 2k a month recently, which makes me feel very grateful for my relatively low monthly payment. We spend a lot of time in our house and have been able to invest in making it as nice as we possibly can, but still have available funds for days out / holidays etc.

I have two friends at the moment really living beyond their means mortgage wise and it means they’ve gone back to where most of us were when we were students or when we had kids in full time childcare. They were doing fine until date increases came and are now talking about selling. Just take into account how much you’ll be able to afford if there’s increases as well

We moved because we found a house that I just fell whole heartedly in love with, despite the bigger mortgage and it being a bugger to heat.

I felt like for me it enhances my lifestyle - it’s in the countryside which I love, the village we’re just outside of is lovely, it has a gorgeous garden. I moved from a new build where I felt the house had no character and the neighbours all felt on top of each other, I really value the peace, privacy and beauty of where we are now.

It does mean we have less money for holidays and things like that but my home is more important to me than those things, so it felt like a sacrifice I didn’t mind making.

I'm a few years down the line after choosing lifestyle. We chose to be mortgage free when we moved instead of buying bigger/ more expensive. We still had about 100k left over from sale of old house that we put into pensions and savings. Our new house wasn't a downgrade per day, we just relocated to a cheaper (though nicer) area.

It's liberating not having to worry about mortgage rates, COL etc. we enjoy our lives and have holidays (5 per year), nights out, money for hobbies. We also put extra into our pensions/ LISA and dc ISA. We often see bigger/ more expensive houses come up and we think about it for a few seconds before thinking 'nah, not giving up our lifestyle to pay a mortgage'.

We have moved a lot in order to end up in a particular village- we now have less house for more money but in a village that offers us a perfect (for us) lifestyle with fab schools on the doorstep, a beautiful peaceful community etc etc.

We had a larger, more efficient home in a less good area and I am so glad we moved. The house will take a lifetime to improve and we will be paying the mortgage forever but the lifestyle is priceless.

We upsized at the expense of going abroad every year, don't regret it one bit. Coming home to a house you love after a shit day is worth it. We will probably still manage a holiday abroad every three years hopefully. We'll happily downsize if our finances change.