To think actually nobody can help me? Do other people live like this too?

[SoStResseds]

I’m 37. I have struggled with anxiety all my life. I remember being 5 and almost being physically sick worrying about spelling tests and since then I’ve worried about everything under the sun… health, people dying, paranoia, thinking people hate me, worrying I will become bankrupt, worrying I will be shot while driving (?!), worrying I have offended people… it goes on and on and on. I have sought help often. Had therapy, it works a little and I am not as bad as I used to be but I’m still 37 and a huge proportion of my life is lived in anxiety. Is this just it for me? I have tried so hard, spoken to gp, read books, meditation. I’m too anxious to take medication so I haven’t tried that although it’s been offered over the years. I’ve been told it’s a sticking plaster anyway and not dealing properly with the anxiety itself. I know this has come from huge pressure academically as a child and I have had therapy for that. I understand I am probably of that nature too and it’s just been an awful mix of things and now I’m here. I genuinely feel mildly nauseous everyday even when I don’t know why im anxious. Do other people live like this too?

Also all this is not good for the body . Will be creating stress hormones ?
better to let yourself have a rest and from there you will be in a better place to decide and even think .
it sounds to me that the body / mind has become almost addicted to the adrenaline .. like a oattern ? One that needs to be broken for a while?

I genuinely have tried everything. It’s like some things help mildly but that’s it. The anxiety never leaves completely, ever.

I[m sorry OP, but as you have been offered medication, and have refused to take it, no you have not tried everything.

Of course taking the medication is scary. x100 if the medication is for anxiety. But nonetheless, you wouldn't expect any other health condition to just magically get better without medical intervention.

This week some health body suggested that menopause symptoms should be managed with therapy. There has, rightly, been a huge backlash as doctors and women point out that menopause is a drop in hormones. Therapy isn't going to do the trick. It's the same here - you need more support than you can get from therapy. Please take the meds.

The only thing that’s helped me is medication

My first thoughts exactly from a fellow sufferer

Also op it’s nothing to do with uour physique, anxiety is a mental illness. As a pp said you’d not expect a significant physical illness to get better without meds, why a mental illness?

your doctor will recommend the right medication for you.

I voted YABU because medication would likely help you very much and if you refuse to even try it then saying ‘nobody can help’ and ‘I’ve tried everything’ is frankly ridiculous.

Another one to say medication. I've always been a worrier (even as a child as well) but developed OCD/ post natal anxiety quite badly, and took citalopram for about 3 years in total. Been off them for over a decade now, and my baseline anxiety has never been as bad since, and I can catch myself when I start to spiral (usually triggered by lack of sleep in my case).

Just take the drugs and enjoy being a different person for a while.

Once you have spent some time on the meds and been that person for a while you will be able to taper off and to maintain your new, healthier and happier mindset and mental habits. You will not only learn how to say NO to those negative thought spirals but you will WANT to say no because you want to stay as that different person you discovered.

Good luck.

Definitely look into medication.

Therapy helped me - but I found it still resurfaced every so often and would be as bad as it was so then I'd feel like it hadn't worked or would go looking for the next 'answer'.

What really really helped me was learning/ understanding about something called the 'three principles' or 'inside out' approach to mental health/ anxiety etc. It sounds a bit woo and some of the resources out there on it can be a bit cheesy sounding so that can be off putting but honestly changed my life. I get anxious sometimes still, have harder days - as we all do as part of being human - but I always know it's going to pass now and don't define myself by it and it doesn't limit my life. I'd actually gone back to my therapist because I was struggling again (and she was great) and she explained she'd discovered this and was working with this model doing more of a coaching approach going forward, so she was happy to recommend another more traditional therapist or I could try it - so glad I tried it!

Some info sources below in case anything resonates:

https://www.worldwidewellbeing.co.uk/the-three-principles

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Three_Principles_(self-help)

https://www.simplicityinmind.co.uk/post/some-of-my-favourite-three-principles-resources

I have worries and anxieties but not at your level. I have problems with people and worries of being rejected. I don’t know what to say and I hope you will find your peace one day.

My life is awful tbh. Cancer in three places, 19 other medical conditions causing disability, running a business I don't like (inherited), family bereavement, single parenthood, kids with SEN, falling apart housing, many surgeries, disappointing relationships...absolutely horrific and anxiety inducing. Persistent pain and overwhelm. I found meditation, or maybe it found me. I highly recommend learning. I did Buddhist classes on breathwork, mindfulness and traditional meditation and it really calms me down. It helps with sleeping. I definitely recommend you try to learn.

Drugs, I have lots of worrying stuff going on - even my counsellor says it's too much for most people 😂- but the Setraline helps me cope.

I also do EFT tapping therapy on an app - it's a life changing for me.

Oh, and exercise,

Running for me but whatever makes you feel good.

I used to be like this OP. You've learnt how to panic so when you have a thought of "what if I get made redundant" your automatic response is to panic and to catastrophise. If you're always on edge then it doesn't take much to tip you into panic mode. You need to unlearn the habit you have developed. This will take time. Go and see your GP who will be able to give you medication to help initially. Then have CBT, which will help you see that it is your thinking patterns that are causing the anxiety. Also have your bloods checked to make sure you're not deficient in anything.

Sertraline has helped me. My anxiety is completely manageable now. I may have to take it forever but I don't mind. I see it as a necessary supplement to keep me healthy.

I am sorry to read about your condition and wish you all the best in dealing with it. You say you are anxious about taking meds 'because of what they might do'. Well people who have more experience of your condition and who see and help people similar to you, on a daily basis, can give you the best sort of drugs for you. Do you really think you know better than the medical/pharmaceutical professions? Of course you don't. But no-one can help you if you don't help yourself. Maybe the first meds you get aren't the best for you - so they can be changed. But you won't get better if you insist on knowing better'about what will help you, because it hasn't worked so far, has it. What the drugs 'might do' and hopefully'will do' is help you. Grasp the nettle and accept the help.Please!

I used to be like this. Obsessive and compulsive worrying. I really feel for you, it's absolutely awful.

Im significantly better after therapy. I'm still more prone to worry than the average person but I certainly don't get stuck in a loop obsessively worrying about a certain thing like I used to. I was also too anxious to try medication but therapy did help me.

However, it did take three different therapists and three different approaches before I showed improvement. It also continued to get better and better after therapy stopped as I got better at using the techniques I learned as time went on.

So I don't think you have to live like you are. Other therapy or medication may help. But I totally appreciate how hard it is to see that x

It breaks my heart reading this because this is how I used to feel every day. You are not alone 💖. For me what helped was CBT, I still have ups and downs, but my anxiety no longer affects me day to day. Different therapies and therapists work for different people, so although I know you’ve tried it already I would say don’t give up, and try new therapists. And put a lot of effort into doing the exercises. It does take time to change your thought processes so don’t expect it to work immediately, but for me it saved my life.
I was also so anxious about trying medication, but I think that it could be a really good option for you. I know that it really helps a lot of people.
I really hope you can find the solution xxx

Sertraline...wonderful.

Go back to GP and ask to try the drugs. If after a month they don't help you ask for more therapy.

Have you had your thyroid checked?
My friend was like you and used to have panic attacks and she has an overactive thyroid.

You say you were worried about being made redundant.
Why would that cause you to worry?
If that was to happen you would sign on and then find a new job.

I am not a worrier (apart from worrying about dying or being injured and my DD having no one) but I never really worry for myself.
I always think what’s the point in worrying, if it’s going to happen it’s going to happen and I’ll just deal with it then.

Worry is such a wasted emotion.
It literally does nothing to help the situation.

Obviously I know it’s not just a case of telling yourself not to worry and you’ll be cured but perhaps try it.
Put yourself in situations eg going shopping, think about what you’re anxious about and then how you can deal with these issues. If they happen then they happen, there’s nothing you can do about it until the time.

v high dose Cbd prescribed ...if you’re wary of pharmaceuticals
.
I don't know where to start with this. They're all chemicals that alter your brain.

OP do your research on the known (and known-unknown) pros and cons of each option, and find the right one, or find the right therapy, or both. I'm very much a therapy-first person but medication of any type has its place.

I do agree with this bit that I dotted out by a psychiatrist at least. Don't muck about with CBD etc. when you have a mental disorder without professional help. You may need to shop around to find a psychiatrist or psychologist or therapist whose approach works for you. Don't go with the nicest. You might need someone with a more ballsy approach to get your thinking around to a different way. Good luck.

You say you have tried therapy, but have you gone hoping you would never feel anxious again? Have you tried the techniques hoping that the anxiety would go away completely? You may find ACT (acceptance and commitment therapy) works better for you. Right now you are stuck in a loop of taking your anxious thoughts and feelings seriously when they come up - if you could accept that these are nothing more than habit for you, it would help you respond to them in a different way and start to weaken their hold over you. Everyone feels anxious and no one enjoys it - but it is your response to it that counts.

Yes chronic anxiety is normal to me (school, driving, tests, public speaking, meeting new people, going new places, worrying about money and layoffs, planning trips, difficult conversations, travelling anywhere etc. ). I try to force myself to push through, and certain situations get better with time. People wouldn't guess i was anxious now.

I suffer with physical anxiety: feeling sick, butterflies in tummy, sweating, light-headedness, repeat trips to the loo for number 2. I try to say to myselfy it is just a physical response that doesn't "mean" anything - my body is preparing for action - which helps the mental side. I have avoided medication for my own personal reasons, but I imagine it would help a lot. No need to suffer through it.