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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

or is cat hating new neighbour batshit crazy?

206 replies

PugginBaby · 21/11/2023 12:22

NC as obviously this is totally outing. New neighbours (a married couple, no kids) moved in a couple of months back and seemed perfectly OK and normal at first, went round to say hello and welcome them to the street and so on. Then I mentioned in passing I had two cats, at which point one of them started going on about how dreadful cats are for local birds. My cats are indoor cats so pose no threat whatsoever to wildlife - even if they escaped (which they have never done in over eight years of owning them), one of them is blind and the other one is so graceless and daft he can barely jump onto a chair, let alone catch a bird. I said this and then a few hours later the male neighbour sent me a whatsapp with links to several articles about cats damaging the local wildlife. Again I politely said, thanks very much, but this is irrelevant to me as my cats do not go outside and never have.

Anyway I thought they were weirdos but left it at that, until the other day when I received a very angry message saying there was a dead bird in their front garden and it was obvious that one of my cats had done it. They couldn't have done it as, again, they don't leave the house and they had not escaped. We live in a neighbourhood with plenty of other cats that do roam, plus foxes, so I daresay it was the work of a fox or one of the other neighbourhood cats. But my neighbour insists it must have been my cats because they are nearest, and that they must have escaped without me knowing (they didn't).

Anyway I think they are absolutely bonkers insane and the correct response is to ignore them but DH thinks we don't want to annoy them too much as they live next door. Surely - SURELY - I am not BU?

OP posts:
HollyBollyBooBoo · 21/11/2023 12:24

You're never going to win against crazy people. So hard to know how to handle it but probably ignoring won't help, could just escalate.

PugginBaby · 21/11/2023 12:25

I don't actually know what they want from me though?!

OP posts:
Verv · 21/11/2023 12:25

TBH I would block them.

sueelleker · 21/11/2023 12:27

PugginBaby · 21/11/2023 12:25

I don't actually know what they want from me though?!

They probably want you to get rid of them. Who would they blame after that though? YANBU btw.

PugginBaby · 21/11/2023 12:29

I mean they obviously hate cats, which is up to them, and maybe they would have a point if my cats had been anywhere near them, but they have never set eyes on them full stop, inside or out.

OP posts:
LisaD1 · 21/11/2023 12:29

I’d respond “as I’ve told you previously my cats do not leave the house. Please stop sending messages about dead birds and cats that are not mine”

then I’d block!

newnamethanks · 21/11/2023 12:30

It rarely works out well if you engage with mad neighbours. Ignore them.

Travis1 · 21/11/2023 12:30

Definitely do this!

Nagado · 21/11/2023 12:30

PugginBaby · 21/11/2023 12:25

I don't actually know what they want from me though?!

What they want is for you to get rid of your cats.

The only sensible option here is for you to block them. You can’t humour them or try and pacify or placate them. They’re clearly bonkers and the only sensible option is to shut down and stop any contact between you.

MidnightOnceMore · 21/11/2023 12:31

You can either ignore, block, or keep trying to explain.

I'd probably say something like 'I know it wasn't my cat, as they are indoor cats' and then just mute them for a bit.

Iminpatchinghell · 21/11/2023 12:31

I absolutely hate having cats in my garden, I wish there could be a law against their right to roam as they do just shit in my garden, dig up pots and kill wildlife.
That being said, yours are housecats. I don’t know why the neighbours wouldn’t take your word for it. They sound mad and I wouldn’t want to piss them off either. I’d just reiterate that they’re housecats until you’re blue in the face. You could always ‘join’ them in their outrage 😂“how awful, poor bird. I saw X neighbours cat the other day hunting for birds. How awful that cats have the right to roam. Mine don’t go outside (as I’ve told you many times previously!)”

PugginBaby · 21/11/2023 12:33

I've had cats my entire life and as an adult have always adopted ones who have to be housecats for various reasons - had a long line of FIV positive cats, blind cats, deafblind cats, cat amputees and so on.

OP posts:
Mummymummy89 · 21/11/2023 12:33

Your neighbours are bonkers. I'm not a cat fan (or a dog fan...) but even I can tell they're bonkers.

How could your cats have killed that bird if they're kept indoors? Why TF is your neighbour harassing you with articles about cats and wildlife? Just, why.

Yanbu. I opened this thread expecting to vote yabu, but clearly yanbu. Why do you even need to ask!

Strawberrycheesecake7 · 21/11/2023 12:33

It sounds like they’ve just decided to have a problem with you and your cats regardless of whether it makes any sense. You can’t reason with people like this. Just ignore them.

PugginBaby · 21/11/2023 12:36

It's like they think I'm lying about them being indoor cats?!

When we moved here we did initially let the stupid one out in the garden (supervised), but he just sat there looking sad, cold, and confused. He's not been out since.

OP posts:
GasPanic · 21/11/2023 12:41

They sound nuts. But if I had to hazard a guess I would say one of them is probably allergic to cats which is why they have such a bee in their bonnet about them.

I would probably message them back something along the lines of "I know we've had this discussion before, but for the avoidance of any doubt, my cats really do not go outside. Ever."

Is there a chance they have seen someone elses cat or one that looks similar and thought it may be yours ?

Thebestwaytoscareatory · 21/11/2023 12:41

I think you should try and out crazy them tbh.

Text them saying "It couldn't possibly have been my cat's as I've been with them constantly for the last 72 hours. Clearly this is the work of your outdoor cat. You should really keep it indoors as they're dreadful for local birds, here's some useful links."

When they inevitably reply and deny even having a cat you can raise the crazy even further and tell them you know they're lying as you've seen the cat coming and going from their house.

That should be enough to make them find another target for their cat rage.

TripleDaisySummer · 21/11/2023 12:42

I had neighbour like this with trees - they had a man round to do an inspection - I was outside dealing with washing - out who had to point out there were other people's fir trees way closer than ours - and that deciduous trees were not in there remit but again all the other garden had such trees as did their own so why did they think it was our tree leaves blocking their gutter.

She also complained about my kids being noisy in summer holidays in garden neighbour she complained to said they'd worked out front all week pointing out we'd been out all week so couldn't be our noise.

They didn't stop complaining to others and us about same issues though.

You can try reiterating your cats are indoors and not the cause - but frankly I think it really doesn't matter to them.

Mamato29192 · 21/11/2023 12:42

Yanbu just ignore

MidnightOnceMore · 21/11/2023 12:43

PugginBaby · 21/11/2023 12:36

It's like they think I'm lying about them being indoor cats?!

When we moved here we did initially let the stupid one out in the garden (supervised), but he just sat there looking sad, cold, and confused. He's not been out since.

They may think you're lying.

It doesn't matter! You're online posting about them, this is not a good relationship from either side, I'd try to ignore.

Deathbyfluffy · 21/11/2023 12:45

Send them messages about neighbours being c*nts about stupid things.
That'll get the message across

PugginBaby · 21/11/2023 12:46

Thebestwaytoscareatory · 21/11/2023 12:41

I think you should try and out crazy them tbh.

Text them saying "It couldn't possibly have been my cat's as I've been with them constantly for the last 72 hours. Clearly this is the work of your outdoor cat. You should really keep it indoors as they're dreadful for local birds, here's some useful links."

When they inevitably reply and deny even having a cat you can raise the crazy even further and tell them you know they're lying as you've seen the cat coming and going from their house.

That should be enough to make them find another target for their cat rage.

I am tempted to do this 😂

OP posts:
PugginBaby · 21/11/2023 12:46

GasPanic · 21/11/2023 12:41

They sound nuts. But if I had to hazard a guess I would say one of them is probably allergic to cats which is why they have such a bee in their bonnet about them.

I would probably message them back something along the lines of "I know we've had this discussion before, but for the avoidance of any doubt, my cats really do not go outside. Ever."

Is there a chance they have seen someone elses cat or one that looks similar and thought it may be yours ?

They don't even know what my cats look like, they've never seen either of them!

OP posts:
Santaiswashinghissleigh · 21/11/2023 12:47

Get a ton of manure delivered to their drive and send apologies your dcat got out... Just block them today op. They bring nothing positive to your mh do they?

JimJonesLivesInMyHead · 21/11/2023 12:47

Batshit. Whenever they say anything just reply "my cats are house cats, my cats are house cats, my cats are house cats, end of". Nothing more than that.

You sound absolutely lovely, giving a home to animals probably most people would ignore. I'd be a nuisance neighbour too because I'd keep wanting to visit them 😂

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