would you wait for your partner to go to university before having a baby?

[crazyaunts]

Assuming your partner is a mature student who wants to retrain, and meaning they'll be studying for 3 years. You're in your 30s. Would you wait 3 years before TTC?

Depends how much money I had

I earn 28.5k a year atm

In my 30s, no I wouldn't wait. So what if they get their qualifications, then it'll be 'When I've got the perfect job' Then 'Once I've settled in the job long enough' You'll be 40 before you know it.

No then I'd want two incomes. How's your partner funding this jaunt back to university? How long have you been together?

no id have the baby now - because you also get childcare help paid for at uni - why wait?

have the baby, there will be something else that crops up in 3 years

children are a blessing - if you have a roof over your head and put food on the table do it

My thoughts are that 3 years is a long time to wait in your 30s. If I were 23, ok.

It'll be funded by student finance I think.. he won't entertain the idea of a baby whilst he's not in full time stable work..

Which end of your 30s?

If early 30s, I’d wait.

33 to be precise.

Nope

You could end up sacrificing your fertility for this. My first baby was 4 years in the making when I was in my twenties, and I had a five-year gap between #1 and #2 due to rubbish fertility.

It’s not going to be 3 years - it will be the degree, then needing to wait for the right job, then saving for a mortgage/wedding/bigger house. And he won’t be sure… maybe next year…

Maybe wait a year but not 3, if you know you want children together waiting till 36 to ttc seems too risky.

The course will start in January if he gets accepted or September 2024 if not. So I'll be closer to 37. Then he'd have to get a job..

No

No I wouldn’t wait. A year course, sure. 3 years, plus finding and settling in a job. No. If you can manage just go for it.

he won't entertain the idea of a baby whilst he's not in full time stable work.

If he doesn’t want to have a baby now, then I wouldn’t be having a baby with him at the moment, no.

What’s the degree-will it land him a decent job easily after three years?

No I wouldn't because I only found out I had potential fertility issues from a random event. We were not ttc at all. It brought forward our plans to start ttc in around 2 years time to immediately, I was 28.

It might even take you 2-3 years to actually conceive.

At 33 I wouldn’t wait.

I wouldn't wait that long.

Nope.

Will you then have to wait until he gets ‘the job’, ‘the house’, ‘savings’ etc?

There seems to be a run of mn-etters in their thirties with partners who don’t want to commit to babies and/or marriage at the moment.

What made him want to retrain? what’s he planning to study? Ie. Vocational course or academic?

What was his view on babies prior to deciding to re-train?

If having kids is important to you, then definitely not

I wouldn't wait at that age.

I can see that you really want a baby now due to your age, but if your partner doesn’t, then clearly having a baby together now isn’t the right decision.

No.

And I'd be worried about him 'not entertaining thoughts of a baby'. I'd be inclined to think he's fobbing you off.