To feel like moving to Scotland might be a bad idea?

[Dontsquashthechocolatemousse]

Currently we live in South West England.

DH has just landed a new job, and it's fully remote - which means we can live anywhere in the UK.

This sounded amazing at first and we let our imaginations run wild as to where we could live. We've sort of settled on Perthshire in Scotland as our dream location.

However, my parents live in the south west (about 1.5 hours away currently). They're late 70s, currently in good health, with busy, independent lives. My other, older siblings live much further away than we do, so we see them the most. They're very close to our young children.

I think it would break their hearts if we moved that far away from them. I know it's only a short plane ride away, but really, how often could we afford to make that journey? And what happens if they get ill, or need looking after?

On the other hand, they could chug along just fine for another 15 years. And they moved all over the world themselves when they were younger - only settling after I was born.

My DH would be so disappointed not to make the most of this opportunity, and to start a new adventure. But I can't help but feel a weight in my chest at the thought of being so far away from my parents.

WWYD?

@NosnowontheScottishhills Yep

Moving to Scotland was the best thing I ever did.

It's dark for 3 months (between 3.30pm and 8am at the most) but in the summer it doesn't get dark until after 11pm and it's light again by 3. All swings and roundabouts.

^ This. Or struggling to park your car (for free) at our local “very popular” beach on a hot day in the summer means having to walk 20 metres to the beach instead of 5 metres 🤪

So we’re just 5 weeks shy of the shortest day and I’ve looked outside it’s definitely still light no torches needed and it was light when I drive to work this morning at 8. It’s Scotland not Iceland FGS.

4 weeks not 5.

I'm sitting working in my kitchen with no lights on. It's no way dark by 3pm.

I do have the heating on though...

Can’t edit my post or tag others 🤦‍♀️
was replying to @tothesea
I did select reply. I was playing bingo but my sarcasm didn’t translate
Didn’t mean to cause a riot
avoid Scotland if you don’t get sarcasm

@Edinvillian that's was how it was in Copenhagen - but they do lighting so beautifully it never really bothered me

I'm Scottish and have lived on the west coast all my life. I have lost count of the times the bigger houses here have changed hands this place is beautiful if you are here for a sunny week in June but it takes a lot of change to live here. There is no train service and you have to drive nearly 50 miles for a decent sized supermarket and it does rain a lot! But it's beautiful and it's home😀

When we were talking about moving north we looked at it as a whole.

• Far too many people down south and every available field was in danger of becoming a housing estate. Our little corner of rural somerset had just had planning permission for 1500 houses on two fields and some of them would have been so close to the M5 you could have touched the hard shoulder from the garden.

• March-September you could not go anywhere as most of the rest of the country came to visit every bloody weekend and when you did manage to get somewhere you could not park.

• Too hot in summer and only likely to get worse and you have to pay for water with more and more hose pipe bans

• As a result of it being well located, it was hard to justify a weekend away when most places were easily doable as a day trip which took you back to the parking issue.

The advantages I suppose were lower heating bills and it was easier to get to places.

Where we've moved to:

• ITs a town but rural - and the town has more useful shops in it than our old one which was full of mobile phone repair shops and vape shops. We have two butchers, a fish monger, a deli, takeaways, a larg(ish) supermarket - to get major stores we are only 30-40 minutes away by car from two cities. It used to take us 30-40 minutes to go five miles sometimes

• We are 8 miles from a national park and the topography of the land means there are highly unlikely to be many more housing estates crop up and the ones that might do will be small.

• Far fewer people and the ones you do meet are a lot less stressed. Ive spoken and socialised with more neighbours here in the six months I've been here than in the entire 8 years I lived in my old place.

• It does get darker earlier in winter but I actually quite like that. Yoou don't get the same mental pressure to always be doing something.

• Within an hour of leaving the house I can be in the middle of nowhere putting up a tent and sleeping under the stars if I want and I don't have to worry about parking

• No water meters.

• Edinburgh and Glasgow are both just over an hour away.

We did want to move more north/west coast however I do have to get to London once a month for a day so realistically needed to be close to an airport or on the sleeper route.

I’m a nomad by nature and have lived in many parts of the UK from London to the back of the back of the beyond rural Scotland. IMO we can’t have it all if for example you want wonderful and numerous exhibitions numerous museums world class music opera theatre and ballet every conceivable shop and amazing public transport all on your doorstep you're going to have to live in London (if you can afford it). But I think the downsides are no peace and quiet, no breath taking scenery that simply feeds the soul, no beautiful beaches no space it feels to me like you’re living in an ant heap and air feels polluted. I in contrast I now have no decent shops within a 100 miles I do have supermarkets etc but if I want to go Xmas shopping or to the ballet or opera it’s a 100 mile journey one way. We have the odd interesting and small exhibition but I had to drive to Edinburgh 120 miles one way to attend an exhibition the other day. But I’ve reached that stage in my life where the buzz and energy of London doesn’t suit me anymore but the peace and quiet and beauty of rural Scotland does. Just to add I’m on my own both sons have grown up my parents are dead and I have little other family so the remoteness and poor access to transport shops etc doesn’t overly bother me. The choices we make should reflect are current circumstances and wishes would I have moved here when my mother was still living in the SE probably not I also might not have uprooted 2 teenagers from friends and an education system they know and moved here.

I would want to stay near my parents. I’d probably look at moving even closer to them than 1.5 hrs away. But admittedly that’s mostly because my mum died aged 65 and I’d give anything to be near her again.

Dentalpainsucks I think I know where you are! Good choice, we might be following suit soon.

I lived there for a number of years due to work. I’d never, go back.

Coldest place i have ever lived in the UK is the Thames Valley, hot in Summer but bone chilling in Winter. SW Scotland might be slightly wetter but it is rarely too cold.

I moved to Scotland 30 years ago and still love it. I live in Edinburgh, so have the advantage of city/culture with hills/beaches nearby and Highlands for summer trips.

My Mum lived in Bristol which was easy to fly to.

I did find friends and family down south would visit when we first moved and then visits declined.

Yes, the temperatures are cooler in Scotland, but the last few years I've enjoyed tolerable summers while friends in England reported horrendous heatwaves they couldn't escape.

I've never experienced issues with being accepted as English, and now count myself as Scottish albeit still with my English accent.

The snp is the number one reason not to move.

The point about mobility of your parents is important- that is likely to decline for any distance by car or otherwise. Even in good health it changes.

I live in NZ and find it odd that so many in the UK can't possibly move away from their family, and find even a short distance a trial to travel.

Many NZers move across the world to live, and there are many people from almost every part of the world who have moved here to live. It's a completely different view from that held by many on MN (and yet, many who have moved here to live are from the UK, so obviously not all have this mindset). Most of us wouldn't be in NZ if our ancestors hadn't decide to leave the area where they were born, and their families, for a new life.

@ithinkthatmaybeimdreaming I think the difference is back in the day people had huge families so one or two emigrating didn't really matter the siblings left behind were the ones who'd look after the parents.
People possibly didn't have the long slow decline limping along on pills either, a bad flu or infection would take them out fairly quickly.
More recently I know two families who emigrated one returned after 10 years the other after 2 years.

Given social care in the UK isnt what it should be older people do need someone to look out for them. And advocate for them getting suitable support packages.

I don’t think there’s anything wrong with wanting to stay near family. Some people are happy to move away, others prefer to stay near, we’re all different.

@ithinkthatmaybeimdreamingI think the difference is back in the day people had huge families so one or two emigrating didn't really matter the siblings left behind were the ones who'd look after the parents.
People possibly didn't have the long slow decline limping along on pills either, a bad flu or infection would take them out fairly quickly.

It's so true - smaller families and longer lifespans with more years of frailty have, in a way, made migrating harder than it used to be.

Yes, you could well be right - but that doesn't explain the many people who are still emigrating here now?

I know of an elderly woman who was in a rest home here. She had only one child, who lived in Australia and yet still managed to organise things when she moved to rest home care. You don't have to be continually on the spot.

And yet, as I have already stated, people are continually emigrating. I don't suppose you see it from there, but honestly there are people from all around the world who live here at present, and most show no desire to move back. I know of two who are only children.

OP is only talking about moving to Scotland from England!!