To feel like moving to Scotland might be a bad idea?

[Dontsquashthechocolatemousse]

Currently we live in South West England.

DH has just landed a new job, and it's fully remote - which means we can live anywhere in the UK.

This sounded amazing at first and we let our imaginations run wild as to where we could live. We've sort of settled on Perthshire in Scotland as our dream location.

However, my parents live in the south west (about 1.5 hours away currently). They're late 70s, currently in good health, with busy, independent lives. My other, older siblings live much further away than we do, so we see them the most. They're very close to our young children.

I think it would break their hearts if we moved that far away from them. I know it's only a short plane ride away, but really, how often could we afford to make that journey? And what happens if they get ill, or need looking after?

On the other hand, they could chug along just fine for another 15 years. And they moved all over the world themselves when they were younger - only settling after I was born.

My DH would be so disappointed not to make the most of this opportunity, and to start a new adventure. But I can't help but feel a weight in my chest at the thought of being so far away from my parents.

WWYD?

I know it's such cliche advice, but honestly make a pros and cons list. Why Perthshire, what is it that made it attractive to you, what quality of life will you lead here, are there hobbies you enjoy to help you settle, do you know people here etc. Then, weigh that all up against the cons of going - one will be more weighted than the other :) for what it's worth I live in Perthshire and I could not love it more. My breath is regularly taken away by how beautiful it is, the quality of life we have is really lovely :) just in case that helps!

I wouldn’t move. There are beautiful places in the South, you don’t necessarily need to move to Perthshire.

I would stay near my family but I value relationships over location / new experiences.

He would be paying higher taxes than in England

Seconding the advice above to do a pros and cons list with the added idea of doing a separate list for each member of the family.

You don't say if your children are in school or if you work out of the house which would affect if moving to Scotland is a good idea.

If it's no to both those could you afford extended holidays to really see what the area and distance is like? It would also give DH chance to see if he likes the job.

It's such an extreme move. I wouldn't do it unless I felt I couldn't possibly be happy other than living in X place.

In our early 30s dh and I moved away from where we were settled to somewhere 6 hours drive away. We knew no one and had to build relationships purely through work colleagues. We hated it and moved back 2 years later.

Also, Scotland is cold and wet.

Grandparents are important in children’s lives. Why Scotland? It’s cold and wet.

Is it rural life you are after? Could you move more rurally in the SW? It is also very beautiful there.

Scotland is beautiful but it’s bloody freezing a lot of the year. I was born on the South coast and adjusting to living up North was hard for a couple of years because of the temp differences.

Higher taxes = better quality of life. And the education system is far better.

Ha ‘cold and wet’ BINGO!

I wouldn’t move but we’re incredibly happy and settled where we are

You need to consider you and the dc too not just dh

What kind of connections have you got to Perthshire and what kind of lifestyle do you lead? Are you outdoorsy arty sporty like going to the theatre? Shopping? Hobby groups? What are the secondary schools like in Perthshire? Not the cute village primarys but the secondary schools …

I am biased in my answer (which is no to Perthshire) as my very fit, slim and healthy parents succumbed very suddenly in their 60s to cancer. No family history and in my mother’s case her own parents outlived her well into their 90s.

I couldn’t imagine moving so far away from my parents if I had the choice of living anywhere. You don’t need to live in their back pocket but a day trip away would be ideal.

I wouldn't move, especially to Scotland of all places!

About

Don't go too far away. I thought my mum would live until 90s but she developed secondary cancer and died after 3 months aged 86. Trying to work (I'm a GP) and care nearly broke me and we are just 2.5 hours away.

And it is dark for 6 months of the year!

The assumption Scotland is some cold miserable place, the weather is still very mild and we have great summer weather.
As for pay more tax, balanced by free university, prescriptions, better health service, free school meals etc

£6 a day on and £80k salary. So almost nothing. Lazy trope rolled our regularly on here

If I were you I would just book a few half terms and a few weeks of holiday there.

Dark 6 mths of the year? Does England have 24hr daylight?

I'd stay put until DH is settled in his new job.

WHy not have a conversation with your parents about it?

There are lots of places in the south west that are rural, or perhaps Wales?

Pretty sure we had daylight all day today. Oh and yesterday and the day before. It’s not the North Pole.
I’ve lived all my life in the midlands. In north Scotland now and other than it being cooler, it’s not wetter where I am and it’s only darker by half an hour a day which is half an hour more light in summer!

I live in the SW & funnily enough my boss who also lived here moved to Glasgow 2 years ago. Her husband is Scottish & she has Scottish roots, only child had left home, all family was in London or overseas & they decided to go to be back in Scotland. She loves it but regularly has to travel to London & the trains are often delayed/cancelled with little notice which is hard.
In your case I think you would find it hard coming back to the SW regularly if your parents need help or just to visit.