To want to start complimenting women more? (Strangers)

[TvGirll]

I'm a woman (40), BTW, nothing sexual in it.

I just always see women who look so cool, or their hair looks amazing. I saw a woman in the coolest dress recently, it was like an spaceship print all over, with a beam picking up cows 😂 She just looked so cute.

I always want to say 'your hair looks amazing' but worry I'll look weird.

But yesterday a lady stopped me and said 'excuse me, your trousers are so cool! I love them, you look awesome today'

And it honestly made my whole year.

I think my new years resolution might be to try and compliment someone at least once a week because I was having a really bad day, feeling shit about myself and was honestly wondering if I was too old for my trousers and she just killed all those insecurities and really made me smile.

I think you are the weirdo. I do this all the time and never had anyone be anything but genuinely happy and pleased to be complimented.

I don't think anyone is a weirdo here but just wanted to point out to everyone on this thread who pays these compliments - women might smile and say thank you but you don't actually know that they're happy and pleased. I certainly wasn't in the anecdote I related upthread.

I'm not saying you should all stop giving compliments - I could well be very much in the minority of not liking personal remarks - but you just can't boldly assert that women enjoy your compliments, you can't know that for sure

I think my new years resolution might be to try and compliment someone at least once a week

I think it’s weird to plan to do it.

But there have been a couple of occasions where I’ve asked a woman where she got her outfit from. Equally I have been asked where I got a coat from and what perfume I was wearing by women.

If it naturally happens, it’s nice, but to plan to try to do it is weird. A bit like Mr Collins in Pride and Prejudice.

‘And though I do sometimes amuse myself with arranging such little elegant compliments, I always wish to give them as unstudied an air as possible.‘

I wouldn't stop someone in the street to do it, but I often compliment other women in situations such as being served in a shop, waiting in line, washing our hands next to each other in public toilets. I regularly tell people their nails, hair, necklace, outfit looks great. Without fail people have always reacted well and have appreciated an unexpected compliment.

I do this to strangers quite often, and only once did I get a negative response!

It was a school mum whom I don’t know well at all, but she was in tartan trousers, high boots and a pink fake fur jacket. It wasn’t so much that the items themselves were gorgeous, but she just looked so fabulous and really well groomed. The conversation went like this, and bear in mind it was about 8.20am.

me: wow, I love your look
her: <death stare> what do you mean?
me: <floundering and waving> your look, you just look, like, your look is great
her: it’s not a LOOK
me: sorry

i later found out that she’s not a particularly nice person, and that she is a bit nonchalant ‘what, this old thing, I just threw it in’ about her very expensive designer wardrobe, so it seems I embarrassed her by drawing attention. The lesson for me is keep the comments for strangers you’ll never see again, or people you know well.

I do this too - mainly because I'm mildly obsessed with perfume! It's a bit more intimate than 'great shoes' I guess but like you I've never had a poor reception. Actually, I have once and that was from someone I knew, not a stranger, go figure...

I often tell random women in the street that I like their hair, or bag, or coat or whatever. I asked a stranger at a yoga class the other day where she got her jumper from as it was gorgeous...turns out she'd made it herself so she was doubly pleased with the compliment!

I don't think it's weird or creepy or intrusive at all, and I'm always chuffed to bits when it happens to me.

I do it sometimes, it depends on the situation though
A friend of mine who was having a terrible day the other day, dressed to try and cheer herself up and got a compliment and she was positively still glowing from it when she met me the next day.
I complimented a lady in the loos at an event of Friday, she looked amazing, perfect dress, extremely understated but stunning and she felt familiar so thought I should say hello in case we had met before (didn't want to seem rude but it was DHs work event and there were loads of people who I have met maybe once in the past 15yrs) - I got back to the table and asked DH who she was and it turns out I probably knew where off the news as her family own something very famous 🤦‍♀️

I do it quite frequently - up to and including randoms on the street! I think we could all do with a lift, to be honest, and I've never had anyone respond negatively.

I was wearing a yellow coat recently and someone at the bus stop complimented me on it: it came at just the right time for me as I was feeling down in the dumps.

'publicly critiqued...street harassment...unwanted sexual attention'...oh give OVER.

Are you saying that another woman saying they like your coat is the same as some bloke groping your tits on the tube? Because both have happened to me and I can assure you they are not the same fucking thing at all.

I do it all the time now I've reached the age of "I don't give a shit what anyone thinks". It's usually I love your coat and
your hair colour is fab, type stuff

@KatBurglar
What perfume is it, if I may ask? 😁

Hi OP! this was basically my new year's resolution for 2023, and I think it's made me a much nicer less judgemental person! I

It’s happened to me a couple of times and I must admit I beamed ! There’s something about it coming from a complete stranger that makes it feel great , there’s no reason for them to compliment you so it feels more genuine somehow. The older I get the more I think we all just need to be nice to one another.

Nothing weird in it.
I compliment other women when I genuinely think they wear something that looks amazing on them. But I wouldn't comment on hairstyles or makeup or any physical details.
I often get compliments and I never thought it was unusual or weird. I enjoy it. I don't wear any 'out there' outfits but I tend to wear well fitted clothes (not as in tight fitting but as in the right cut for my size) so maybe they stand out more?

I think it's a lovely thing to do and am always proud that women are happy to compliment each other. We should build each other up.

On the school run today someone told me how much they loved my coat; really cheered me up.

Nothing weird about it at all. You do you

It's a brilliant thing to do! I never have the courage to but my autistic son will give compliments to complete strangers all the time and it's always well received with a big smile

I compliment other women ALL the time! When I say all the time … I tell them if something looks fab! Little things like ‘I love your coat’, or ‘your hair is amazing’. It takes seconds and I’ve never received a bad reaction. Like you, it happened to me one day … I was heavily pregnant and a stranger just said I looked beautiful and blooming and it reminded her how much she loved being pregnant. And I made a resolution that day to build up other women whenever and wherever I could. And btw you’ll never be too old for them trousers 😊

I do it all the time. We are quick to criticize but very slow to praise. What's wrong in telling someone you like their hair/coat/whatever?

On this subject, here's a lovely Sharon Olds poem for you @TvGirll

Thursday I saw a woman in an amazing top and told her I loved it. Saturday it was a gorgeous coat, nice texture and one of my favourite colours so I told her too!

Please do it! I went out last week in an unusual dress and got two random compliments and it honestly made my night (as most of the time I feel invisible since I turned 40).

Nowt wrong with it. I have asked a couple of women where they get their hair cut and complimented people's children's outfits (exclusively Japanese and Korean tbf). I am happy to receive a compliment too.

Christ. You sound awful.

I have good hair and strangers sometimes say something nice to me about it. But actively decide you’re going to seek out someone weekly to compliment is a tad odd.

In the US, it’s seems to be the norm to get ‘what a beautiful family!’ type comments. We always laugh about it (in private).

I complement women all the time!

"I love your hair style!"

"That top really suits you!"

Etc

Never got a weird look before, just delight.