To want to start complimenting women more? (Strangers)

[TvGirll]

I'm a woman (40), BTW, nothing sexual in it.

I just always see women who look so cool, or their hair looks amazing. I saw a woman in the coolest dress recently, it was like an spaceship print all over, with a beam picking up cows 😂 She just looked so cute.

I always want to say 'your hair looks amazing' but worry I'll look weird.

But yesterday a lady stopped me and said 'excuse me, your trousers are so cool! I love them, you look awesome today'

And it honestly made my whole year.

I think my new years resolution might be to try and compliment someone at least once a week because I was having a really bad day, feeling shit about myself and was honestly wondering if I was too old for my trousers and she just killed all those insecurities and really made me smile.

@ManateeFair - which author? You really piqued mty interest!

I do it, don't care if it makes me look like a weirdo! I've also had plenty of people asking me west I get my clothes from and compliments so it's nice to give back.

I can see why you may have felt weird about it but I think they were genuinely coming from a good place.

Pregnancy is beautiful and I think some women really do look stunning when they are heavily pregnant! They just 'shine' somehow!

I'm fat and ugly but I am a singer and people always compliment me on my voice. That's the one thing that makes me feel good.

I have some clothes and boots that every time I wear them someone stops me to tell me how great they are or where can they get them and every time it makes me feel happy.

I reckon that's not going to be everyone's reaction to it though, some people won't like feeling self conscious or observed

Do it! As you say it will make them feel great but it will also make you feel good :)

I do it a lot but I also just love the way women interact with each other in general so I make a big effort to compliment others when I can.

Someone told me I smelt amazing before and it still stays with me now how good it made me feel.

I do it when the situation allows but I wish I did it more. I have a thing about always having my nails done, get nice designs and keep them quite pretty. I LOVE when strangers compliment them, it happens in shops quite a lot or when I used to work in retail and always made my day.

I think in a world which is so horrible and negative a lot of the time it's great to spread a bit of genuine kindness where you can

I don't do this as role for the same reason you give .. but I saw a lady who looked so stylish and lovely on my road the other day. She then walked past as I was locking my car I had to say something. She was with a man who was her partner / husband. I stopped her and said ' can I just say - I saw you walking down the road a minute ago and I love your outfit. The combination of pink and green just look so good together. I love it.

She looked so pleased and said I had made her day. It was really lovely and glad that I said something. No one will ever think you are being odd if it's a genuine comment. They are delighted. I would also be delighted and it's a real confidence boost.. do it!

I started doing this a while ago, but always about things they deliberately picked like clothes or jewellery not something they naturally have like hair. Not sure why that makes a difference but I wouldn’t comment on a stranger’s hairstyle for some reason! I would if it was a friend who just got their hair done.

People have always seemed happy to hear it so far so I’m going to carry on!

@Mummymummy89 Hello from the Due Jan thread! Just saw your comment about your colleague's "compliment" - obviously I'm a similar level of round to you at the moment and I also have a colleague who likes to compliment me on my shape. It does feel a bit weird and I think it's uncommon but some women genuinely find the shape of pregnant women beautiful and kind of soothing. I also bear in mind that women all have a different relationship with pregnancy (done it/not done it, wish they were pregnant/hoping they aren't pregnant, wishing they could have a kid now but having to wait, absolutely never want to do it etc) so I guess it's not surprising that seeing someone v pregnant can trigger all sorts of feelings, it's nice that some are positive.

On two separate occasions women have complemented me recently (one on my hair and the 2nd on my makeup).

What a lovely thing for someone to do. Made my absolute day and made me feel wonderful. It’s a shame people don’t do it more.

As for the person earlier saying it’s a ‘weirdo thing to do’. What a shame this grown up with this mentality. Nothing better than women supporting women 👊

I met my best friend by complimenting her! If I feel really strongly about someone's looks or want to know where they bought something, I let them know. Not in a creepy way, not intensely, just as a passing comment. I've never had a bad reaction

I don't want to be publicly critiqued by anyone tbh. I buy clothes because I like them, I don't need or want strangers validating me. For it to be a reason to speak to a stranger takes it back to physical appearance being important for women. One advantage of aging is the street harrasment/unwanted sexual attention stops.

BTW I do compliment men too but usually only men I know e.g. telling a colleague that I like their new haircut/coat. I wouldn't talk to a strange man about their personal appearance but that's because men can be scary.

It's sad that you think this way, but thankfully it's not the norm.

That's such a sad view - why can't people just say something nice without having it micro-analysed?

I do and the women seem to just beam 😊. Never had a negative reaction.

I also lob hearing it, so why not 😊.

@Mummymummy89 I think pregnant women are beautiful, so she probably meant well.

I get this from female students quite often, they will compliment my dress or shoes etc or ask me where I got something from. I don’t mind it, it’s always quite a nice confidence boost.

Last Thursday night someone said the dress I was wearing was nice. It's a very old dress I used to wear to the office. It made me happy😀

@WitcheryDivine @Celticliving yes absolutely my colleague meant it well... also the context is she is childless not by choice (not infertile, husband didn't want kids, and then they divorced in her 40s) so I do understand she might see pregnancy in a certain way. I just thanked her and didn't act like it was weird or anything! But I'd never dream of saying anything like that to a pregnant woman myself!

I think it's a bit like the way some people try to touch your bump. I know compliments aren't the same as touching but still it's intrusive in a similar way.

Clothes is a safe one because people choose/buy their clothes. But you don't choose your body iyswim - even things like weight loss might not be by choice (eg illness, eating disorder etc) so imo best not to comment on that.

I can see I'm in the minority on this thread tho!

I do it all the time too. I can't help it, I say it before I even think about it. I've had it said to me by strangers as well, it always makes my day.

I've been to big cities in America 4 or 5 times in my life (mid-40s now) and every time at least once on the trip (sometimes multiple) someone has come up in the street and complemented hair or clothes etc (even just like a £40 next dress, nothing outrageous) then just wandered off.

Seems to be quite normal there, but definitely would be seen as weird here.

Normal for London in my opinion

I do it a lot and it happens to me too - I have loads of nice coats so it's often that which people compliment me on

And also, so many women look BLOODY GREAT