To not allow DS to spend his money on in game currency

[Yomuma]

My DS is 11 and enjoys gaming with his friends. Recently he has been asking to spend his pocket money on these in game currencies.

To my mind, this is a massive scam - trading in real, hard earned money for pretend invisible money. I told him no, I might as well open the window and throw money out of it. What a horrible waste! My job is to help stop my child from making bad choices, and I think this is a really bad idea. These games are designed to make you want to buy more more more...its a slippery slope.
But his arguement is sound. Firstly, he explained I don't appreciate the value of the in game currency because I don't play. But to him, he gets enjoyment from it, so it isn't a waste at all. I spend money on all sorts of things he thinks are pointless but I enjoy so who I am to say what he does with his money? Would I rather he spent it on sweets to ruin his teeth and health?
I can see his point, but I still think it's a terrible waste of good money.

AIBU and living in the dark ages? Should I respect his choice?

Or do I have a duty to stop him throwing his money away?

I’m with your son. It’s his money and this is value for money for him.

My kids are older now but have spent a lot on in game purchases over the years. They love gaming, it makes them happy and it’s their money.

They haven’t become gambling addicts, aren’t addicted to gaming and are both great with money as a teen and an adult.

Get a grip.
It's his money and that's what he wants.

im with you op, my DC is 8 and wants to spend all his money on this. His had some birthday money recently which I’ve let him spend alittle of it on. I’ve also set a monthly cap so he can have £10 per month which he counts down the days for but once it’s gone it’s gone. The only thing is he just seems to want more each time

to be fair, lots of people spend money because it makes them feel good (aka your 'dopamine hit'). That's why lots of folk own/buy high heels, trainers, handbags, even cars! If it's managed and not excessive then there's no issue. Edited
I take your point, but don't think buying a pair of trainers is comparable to the drip drip drip of small highs that games designers and companies put into these games. Shopping can become addictive too, but tech companies know what they're doing when they're designing products and many are designed to get people to part with their cash, get frustrated so they'll buy in app purchases, pay to win, loot boxes and so on. By getting children seeing this as the norm, they're suring up another 30 years of business from them. It's a smart strategy.

I'm always interested when I see articles about how many parents in the tech field either keep their children off certain things or highly limit their access. Then I go on a Facebook group or Mumsnet and posters insist their 8-12 year old is immune from it, is totally disciplined and has level of self control that outwits all the design of specialists in the tech giants.

Would you let your son use his money to visit an amusement park, go to a movie, go to concert? Do you spend money on streaming services, magazine subscriptions, and theater tickets?

Those are all entertainment experiences that result in nothing to show for it. Gaming currency is similar in my opinion. I mean at the end of all of them you’ve thrown your money out the window with only memories to show for it.

As with anything it’s all about moderation.

I’ve had this argument with my on DM about how I let my children spend their pocket money. It’s their money to waste or save as they see fit but they are reminded that if they want to buy expensive products, clothes, toys etc in between Xmas and birthdays then they need to save. I have one who is a saver and rarely spends but does collect something which can be displayed nicely and doesn’t take up space. She’s often got over £100 in the bank as she doesn’t buy things regularly, saves up and then carefully chooses things that she wants. I have another who is a spender and who wants everything. She has learned that hard way too as she often breaks things and I have started to ask her to contribute to repairs or replacements . She buys soft toys and when with me I can talk her out of buying them but if she goes out with her friends - recently farted secondary s new to this - she will come back having bought another plushie or similar. She went through a phase a few years ago buying robux but that phase did pass. I did let her buy the robux though but did limit how much pocket money she was getting so it was never huge amounts. She would also get robux gift cards for birthday and Christmas at one point. She plays Fortnite too and every not and then depending on who she’s hanging out with might use her money to buy a battle pass. But when it’s gone it’s gone and I will not give credit.

I’m an ad hoc gamer. One of the games I pay has introduced mini transaction. You can buy things you would usually earn but they take longer to earn. I’m not bothered about a new in game hair cut or clothing but I can totally see why some people would want to buy those things.

Let him buy what he wants its his pocket money. Would you rather he buy sweets or plastic tat. The whole point of pocket money is they can choose to buy what they want.

I allow my kids up to £5 per week to spend on in-game stuff and have done for a few years now. My eldest is now 17 and has made so much money buying, making and trading things in-game that I swear he could work on the stock exchange now!
I was against it at first, but when he also excelled in his economics GCSE, I decided it was the best thing he’d ever done 😂

In game currency can be spent in two ways. On an actual in game object that you know you are getting or for a loot box where you have a chance at a number of objects. I completely disagree with loot box sales as it’s a form of gambling. Bit like those FIFA packs where you have no idea what player you will get. Just do not put a card on his console. I game and have never spent real money on cosmetic items I earn some currency from playing and then spend it.

There isn't really a point to pocket money if you get a veto on what it can be spent on. And if your child is getting so much money that you consider it a huge waste, then maybe you need to reconsider how much they are getting.

At 11, there will soon be much more enticing ways for your child to use their money (e.g. socialising with friends) so this is likely to be short lived trend.

It is comparable, can also be drip, drip, drip and just as addictive if not properly controlled.

He's right. If you'd let him "fritter it away" on comics or films or sweets why not this form of entertainment?
It's your job to stop him going mad so give him a reasonable limit.

My son is the same and I feel the same as you about it so we’ve come to a compromise. When he has money he is allowed to spend a limited amount to spend on the in game currency and the rest saved/ spent on something else. Works well for us all.

You sound like SIL who is, I think, setting herself up for huge clashes with her DC. I agree with PPs that spending money on items that are basically gambling is not okay, but buying access to more game time or to "objects" in the game is not really any different to me paying for streaming services or buying small, unnecessary things.

DD likes to spend money buying new outfits for her dolls. She also likes to spend money buying new outfits for her avatar on Roblox. She spends MORe time changing her avatar and outfits on Roblox than she does playing with her dolls and changing their outfits. Seems like money well spent to me.

sorry but it's his pocket money- it's meant to be spent on useless tat

I was dubious about allowing DD robux, but did in the end and now she has a subscription. I don't have a problem with it. She can buy things for her characters, gamepasses, all sorts. It's what she likes and tbh I have had so many unused toys building up over the years that I prefer this to more tat!

You don’t think Nike, Addidas and Reebok also know what they are doing and don’t spend billions of pounds on advertising strategies to make buying trainers addictive and ultra desirable to kids and teens? For every addicted gamer, there will be a teen that has an entire wall floor to ceiling, corner to corner of shoeboxes with untouched trainers that they refuse to wear because they’ve been convinced they’re collectibles.

For girls/women it’s usually designer handbags. Equally addictive and useless but instead of running up £15k in dribs and drabs over a year on a game, it can be done in two mins on your phone while painting your nails.

You don’t think Nike, Addidas and Reebok also know what they are doing and don’t spend billions of pounds on advertising strategies to make buying trainers addictive and ultra desirable to kids and teens? For every addicted gamer, there will be a teen that has an entire wall floor to ceiling, corner to corner of shoeboxes with untouched trainers that they refuse to wear because they’ve been convinced they’re collectibles.

For girls/women it’s usually designer handbags. Equally addictive and useless but instead of running up £15k in dribs and drabs over a year on a game, it can be done in two mins on your phone while painting your nails

I've never said anything about my thoughts on individual brands. Of course I think advertising strategy is a thing. That's obvious. I doubt your average 8-15 year old has the cash to fill a wall floor to ceiling with unworn trainers.Not sure what that or women racking up debt on designer backs has to do with people having reservations about children buying things in games though. It feels a little like whataboutery.

I have reservations about the role of tech on children and am cynical about how many parents think their children are the ones immune from the addictive nature of tech. Someone who doesn't share that view will make different decisions.

I have reservations about the role of tech on children and am cynical about how many parents think their children are the ones immune from the addictive nature of tech. Someone who doesn't share that view will make different decisions.

My perspective is that tech is one of many, many things that are purposely designed to be addictive. Billions are invested by companies to make toys, food, drink, clothing, trainers, cosmetics, TV shows, music, social media almost everything we touch, wear, see and hear is designed to engage us and encourage us to keep engaging, which can create addiction in those who are susceptible. I don’t think children are immune to any of this, but I also don’t think tech warrants special caution or aversion.

The average 8-15yr old wouldn’t have the cash to spend hundreds of pounds on in game purchases or buy a wall of trainers or a collection of designer handbags- but these kids wouldn’t be addicted. Addicted kids would find a way to go around the parental pocket money limit and finance their obsession through other means or run up debt. That’s the concern.