To not allow DS to spend his money on in game currency

[Yomuma]

My DS is 11 and enjoys gaming with his friends. Recently he has been asking to spend his pocket money on these in game currencies.

To my mind, this is a massive scam - trading in real, hard earned money for pretend invisible money. I told him no, I might as well open the window and throw money out of it. What a horrible waste! My job is to help stop my child from making bad choices, and I think this is a really bad idea. These games are designed to make you want to buy more more more...its a slippery slope.
But his arguement is sound. Firstly, he explained I don't appreciate the value of the in game currency because I don't play. But to him, he gets enjoyment from it, so it isn't a waste at all. I spend money on all sorts of things he thinks are pointless but I enjoy so who I am to say what he does with his money? Would I rather he spent it on sweets to ruin his teeth and health?
I can see his point, but I still think it's a terrible waste of good money.

AIBU and living in the dark ages? Should I respect his choice?

Or do I have a duty to stop him throwing his money away?

What are MC parents? And what are the results 'bizarre'? 🙄

My DD went through a phase of spending her pocket money on gaming. She also once bought a large purchase with birthday money, which I advised her against and which she took no heed, and regretted an hour later.

It died down after that. But the odd few quid here and there, if it gives your child pleasure and they realise that once their money has gone, there's no more, what's the issue?

I've spent my 'pocket money' on Botox which a lot of people would think was bonkers, bit of it makes me happy, why not?

May dc were never into dolls or buying new outfits or accessories for dolls.. They did like animal jan (national geographies) and buying stuff for animals to wear, houses etc in the game.
Dd 2 is Minecraft and roblox.

OP is asking about pocket money, not large amounts of gift money. She also didn't say he has free access to all money to spend as he sees fit. You are running away with it - obviously a decent parent will discuss limits.

Regardless of that, how much does an average adult spend on their Netflix/ Amazon Prime subscription over 2-3 years?

Spending a few hundred quid on digital content over a few years is not unusual at all.

Yabu and quite old fashioned really op
Let him spend it on in-game purchases - if its a scam or not worth it then let him figure that out for himself

so…
we now we apparently agree that yes the (pocket) money spent in virtual purchases can amount to hundreds….

So the overall point is you want to make is you think that’s fine and an okay/good way to spend money.
My point is whether it’s pocket money or not… it’s the money. And I think it’s poor use of money and instils spend habits / principles I don’t agree with and wouldn’t want for my child. I’d rather their money was spent more efficiently on things that deliver a higher impact to their quality of life.

In the same way my DH and I don’t buy a starbucks every day even though we like coffee and could afford to.
it comes down to opinions and choices - people are free to make different ones.

Mine's a bit older & has been earning since he was 13.
We had a long chat about only spending small amounts, don't fritter your money, he should think of long term things to save for instead, etc.
If you can set sensible limits, which they agree to, that is the ideal.
Point of pocket money is to help them learn how to budget ime. So this is perfect opportunity for that.

I agree with you OP. It gives me the rage when DS (10) spends money on his games, but as others have said it’s his money. I do have some say though as he has to use my bank card to do it anyway (in exchange for his cash) we only do it now and again. We had an issue recently where his PS crashed and he couldn’t log back in and everything he’d bought was lost, he was heartbroken and it took all my strength to be supportive and not say ‘well you will spend money on literally nothing.’

We also have hyper jar with different savings pots.

It's very common for older kids, teens, adults to spend reasonably controlled amounts on in game currency for games like Fortnite - it does make the gaming experience more fun and doesn't have to result in negative consequences. In game purchases or not, gaming time should be limited/controlled, and form part of a balanced lifestyle.

I agree with the people saying it's similar to spending it on a magazine or sweets. Gives short term enjoyment but nothing tangible left at the end. So if you would let him do that, I think you should let him spend it on gaming.

This is how I feel

However I also feel that the point of pocket money is to give children a bit of independence from my opinions

So it's a tricky tension.

We tend to buy them a tiny amount (£5-10) at Christmas and I think after a few years of doing that they realised the pointlessness of it and don't ever ask for money for it any more.

Nobody is asking you to spend your money though.

We could often think others are making poor use of their money, b ut the point is that it is their money and not yours.

There is nothing wrong with in game purchasing, in a controlled manner, especially in proper console games. You not liking it doesn't make it wrong, just not your choice.

My son has played a particular game during leisure/down timefor years - he still uses many of the in game purchases in the game, and gaming forms part of a balanced lifestyle where he is doing well at school, studies a fair bit, has hobbies, and is growing in to a decent young human. Gaming kept a lot of his year group in touch during Covid too.

I am an IT professional, I game plenty, I morally disprove of pay-to-win, and don't think any of the aspects of encouraging children to gamble in game and pay for virtual goods with real money is good for them.

Having said that, I have, in the past, allowed them to buy a fortnite season pass.

But I'd never let them buy (nor would I buy myself) gold coins or gems to accelerate my progress in some game - my feeling is that any game that's not playable without these purchases isn't a good game, and is trying to manipulate me.
That's how I feel and I'm not a gamer.

I'd have no objection to an occasional pass when DC are older, but otherwise it's no to in game gambling, spending money to get quicker dopamine hits, pay to win sort of things.

@LolaSmiles to be fair, lots of people spend money because it makes them feel good (aka your 'dopamine hit'). That's why lots of folk own/buy high heels, trainers, handbags, even cars! If it's managed and not excessive then there's no issue.

Massive difference between buying in game currency (often used like a lucky dip in some games and you can end up with nothing) and spending any money in game, eg buying an expansion as PP has said.

Thinly disguised gambling by buying keys/coins/whatever and using them to buy a new "treasure chest" that may have nothing of value to the game - no.

Spending pocket money (eg £2/week) on extra elements of the game which once bought are a permanent purchase- yes definitely. And wasting money on stuff grown ups don't think is important is part of the point of pocket money, better to learn young that when it's gone it's gone!

He makes some very good points. As long as there is a budget and he sticks to it i think you should allow it. (Although I would feel similar to you).

I would try to think of it not as swapping real money for fake money, but as swapping real money for entertainment, which most do anyway. It's not unlike buying a film, for example.

That said, I would be annoyed if he was spending money on things like skins that make no difference to the actual gameplay.

How much money are you giving him? Perhaps if you are uncomfortable with him wasting the money, you are giving him too much. Might be something to consider - I think I'd be tempted to suggest to him that if he is throwing the money away on in game purchases that don't actually enhance the experience he's having at all, you don't think you can sanction giving him so much hard earned money and might need to reduce it. I know some would disapprove of that and it isn't a perfect solution but it's probably what I would do to discourage totally frivolous spending.

I'm in my 50s and I sometimes spend money on in game packs. Never huge amounts and not frequently, but as pp's have pointed out, it's entertainment. I have in game friends and we chat and have a laugh together. I don't see it as being any different to spending money on going to the cinema or out for a meal. I mean yeah with a meal you get food but once you've eaten it, it's gone!

People talk a lot about how we should all be buying less "stuff" and spending our money on experiences instead. So I don't think it's then right to tell people one experience is more "worthy" than any other. With any experience, you don't actually have anything to show for it. It's about how much fun it gives you at the time. I'd rather spend £10 on my game than go to the cinema, which I really don't enjoy. I don't see the problem.

Both of my dc are allowed £5 a month in robux. They enjoy it so why not

Yabu, he’s having fun and you perhaps don’t appreciate how restricted games are without purchases

You shouldn’t have given pocket money if you don’t want him to decide what to spend it on

teach him how to be sensible with it then yes it’s fine.
like fifa packs can be anything from like 80p up to £75. I don’t play, my DP does, I’ve given him 80p as a joke before, but really it’s just players or some rubbish which usually he opens and whinges at that it’s rubbish. DP knows a lot of people who have wasted hundreds on fifa packs or whatever. If he has impulse control, it’s his own money and he understands when it’s gone there’s no more money, then I think it’s probably a good starting point on learning how to budget.

YANBU. But he does have a point. His money, his choice.

I do think it’s dangerously close to gambling though.

You have a mature young person on your hands. My 15yr old wouldn't of been able to come up with that argument. If he was spending it like mine does on sweets and crisps it's way more of a waste. They've gone in 2mins and that's it. Game content lasts alot longer and gives them something to talk about to friends that are also gaming. It's gives them something to fit in. Magazines are rubbish these days and once read they go in recycling so not much use there either really. I do watch my son's spending as he wants things he needs to save for but that's the only reason as. It's always his choice. I remind him when he's going to school that if he buys sweets on way home he won't be able to buy so and so and he will try to stick to not spending it all on rubbish x

It would be a no from me to spend birthday money on in-game currencies. It’s from relatives or friends to buy a gift or save.
But I don’t mind DS spending his pocket money on in-game purchase if he discusses them with me first and I occasionally give him a gift card for his PS5 as well. It also depends what it is - some are a complete scam and I think it is good that he is literate about that, and others he can buy things which add to his gaming experience. He’s got wise over time as to what is what, I think.