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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Would it bother you if..

79 replies

Srx1 · 19/11/2023 20:38

... your close friends didn't remember your first baby's first birthday?

OP posts:
Srx1 · 19/11/2023 21:43

@ManchesterLu hopefully by then fb and ig won't be a thing 😅

Ok thanks everyone, good to see how everyone's thinking! ☺️

OP posts:
WhatGoesUpMustComeDown · 19/11/2023 21:47

If your friends don't have kids I'm not sure they would realise that a 1st birthday was a milestone...?

I'm childfree and not hugely into birthday celebrations in general and I had no idea that a 1st birthday was something you should especially acknowledge until I saw photos of friends' babies' 1st birthday parties with decorations etc (they live far away).

(Obviously I sent messages of congratulations etc for the actual births)

Soubriquet · 19/11/2023 21:47

Nope

Parapapampam · 19/11/2023 21:47

My eldest Dd still has the incorrect birthdate on her library card because it would seem I can't even remember my own child's birthday, so no, it wouldn't bother me if nobody else did.

WildflowersInAMasonJar · 19/11/2023 21:49

It would never happen so hard to say. I suppose, yes it would. My friends are like extra mums to my children. I’m not from here and even my friends from back home always remember and I remember theirs.

Srx1 · 19/11/2023 21:49

@WhatGoesUpMustComeDown They're not really, I think it is more down to the type of a friendship. I thought mine were the ones where one would acknowledge this as I know what kind of stuff we'd share with one another over the years. I wouldn't expect the same from just any friend

OP posts:
CurlewKate · 19/11/2023 21:49

No.

OrderOfTheKookaburra · 19/11/2023 21:50

How have you not said in conversations "I can't believe DD is going to be 1 in x date!"?

If I want people to remember, I make sure I remember to prompt.

But then again I'm crap with dates so understand why people forget.

Mamato29192 · 19/11/2023 21:50

No

Jewelspun · 19/11/2023 21:50

Not at all.

vincettenoir · 19/11/2023 21:50

No and I don’t remember theirs unless I’m invited to a birthday party or something.

Raffington55 · 19/11/2023 21:51

Close friends? Yes it would bother me.

junbean · 19/11/2023 21:51

No, it's too much. I can't remember anyone's birthday without reminders. Just remind them beforehand, it's not hard.

Pinkelephant66 · 19/11/2023 22:21

No. Especially if they don’t have kids themselves. Why would they care

WildflowersInAMasonJar · 19/11/2023 22:46

No. Especially if they don’t have kids themselves. Why would they care

Each to their own but I can’t imagine not caring about my friends children birthdays and acknowledging them. In our group, some don’t have children but they’re still close to all our kids.

MolkosTeenageAngst · 19/11/2023 22:50

I think a lot of people are really rubbish with dates and don’t really use diaries/ calendars etc and rely on social media to remind them of friend’s birthdays. I am very good at remembering dates (I have autism, not sure if that’s why) and used to be surprised when I’d mention to people a mutual friends birthday was coming up and they would always have no idea of the date. I usually remind my friend groups when big dates like children’s birthdays etc are coming up because I know there’s no way anyone else will remember and I don’t take it personally when they forget my birthday if I haven’t dropped a hint a few days before!

meganorks · 19/11/2023 22:50

No. I'm not that sentimental over them and I realise people have their own stuff going on. It's not even like the child would notice

Fairospop22 · 19/11/2023 22:52

no I wouldn’t expect them to, unless I’d arranged a birthday party

Mejustme3 · 19/11/2023 22:55

Absolutely no . I have a friend who remembers my granddaughter birthday…she is so lovely 🥰

Nocturna · 20/11/2023 10:01

Srx1 · 19/11/2023 21:42

Why? Sorry I don't know all the 'rules'

Because your thread title gives no indication what the actual content of your thread is about

ludocris · 20/11/2023 10:22

Yes, it happened to me and it really upset me. I was one of the last to have a child and had made the effort to remember each of their children's birthdays over the years, and to send cards/gifts.

However, a few years on I now realise that life is too busy to keep on top of this stuff. I've stopped sending cards for my friends' kids and just try to send a message instead.

Flamingogirl08 · 20/11/2023 11:35

I am surprised at the amount of Nos and people saying they don't care about friends kids birthdays etc?

My friends and I are all involved in each others lives and kids lives so yes it would bother me. We do make a real effort to maintain the friendships though. I suppose it depends on what the friendship is like.

waitholdup · 20/11/2023 11:36

Nope - and your thread title is terrible

Srx1 · 20/11/2023 11:44

waitholdup · 20/11/2023 11:36

Nope - and your thread title is terrible

Edited

Crisis!!

I literally saw thread titles similar to this. Was I supposed to put the entire question in? You didn't have to read it if it's an issue.

OP posts:
waitholdup · 20/11/2023 11:59

Srx1 · 20/11/2023 11:44

Crisis!!

I literally saw thread titles similar to this. Was I supposed to put the entire question in? You didn't have to read it if it's an issue.

Its a good idea to put some idea of what the thread is about so you dont end up thinking "oh thread, oh I've read this one" when browsing