Ex taking kids on holiday

[Pigsinablanket]

Need some perspective please.
Kids 8,11 and 13 .
Divorced 2 years. We share their care and we manage to make things work tolerably well, although he pays for very little for the kids throughout the year…. shoes clothes sports equipment etc and tends to palm them off on his mum when they are with him.
Ex husband wants to take them away for 2 weeks next summer on a holiday with his girlfriend and her kids.
I would struggle to be separated from my youngest for this long .
AIBU to say he can take them for 2 1 week holidays? I am aware that I’m jealous he can afford this expensive trip while I can’t, and that his girlfriend will be spending fun times with my kids but still I feel this is too long to be away from them?
Dont want my feelings to spoil a great trip for them though ? do i just suck it up?
please help

I honestly think you need to suck this up - a two week holiday is not unreasonable.

If you wanted to take them away for two weeks would that be OK?

Suck it up. All your reasons seem to be about you. Don't take a fun trip away from them.

Does he not get half the holidays anyway? In which case he would get longer than 2 weeks.

It depends how old the children are. If they are very little they would probably miss you, if older they'd enjoy the holiday.

Youngest is 8

And frankly, it's about them and not you. Yabu

I think yabu. You're thinking of your own feelings here and not the children. A 2 week holiday is a totally normal expectation at those ages.

Suck it up.

Unless the kids don't know girlfriend and her kids your being selfish. It's nothing to do with you if his mum pays for her grandkids. If he went with girlfriend and her kids, your kids would feel excluded

Yeah sorry but you need to suck it up. Your youngest isn’t a baby. You’d be furious if your ex left them behind and went with his girlfriend and her family so you just have to allow them to go and enjoy it I’m afraid.

Suck it up and ensure he builds up to it with a minimum of a week here and there and a 10 day stint before then?

Your youngest is 8… I think it’s suck it ii age unless you have an update like he has SEN. I mean this kindly but it’s not about you.

Totally unreasonable! It's not about you!

What do the kids want?

He’s their father. He’s offering them a fun trip and the chance to be an integral part of the new family he is forming. Unless there’s some backstory involving him being hugely neglectful or abusive YABVU to base your response on how much you would miss your youngest.

Your reasons for not wanting them to go are about you, not them, so you are being unreasonable. any issues with him not contributing enough are a separate conversation but your kids shouldn’t miss out simply because you will miss them. It’s a difficult but necessary part of co-parenting I’m afraid.

It's literally in the second sentence of the op 🤦‍♀️

OP as long as you're ok never taking them away for longer than 1 week crack on...

If you could afford to take them on a 2 week holiday and made plans to do so, how would you feel if he said no you can’t take a 2 week holiday?
If your kids are up for it I think you need to put your own feelings aside especially the jealousy of the fact that he can afford a 2 week holiday and go let the kids have fun with their dad

I'd ask what they want to do. I know for a fact that at that age, my DCs couldn't go long without me.

YABU. You have to suck it up, it's part and parcel of co-parenting.

Yabu

Sounds like heaven to me. Palming them off for two weeks, you can get so much done in that time without kids being there. YABU.

Yabu if the kids want to go

Gosh I could only dream of my ex taking our kids on holiday yabu

If only OP had told us! 🤔