Ex taking kids on holiday

[Pigsinablanket]

Need some perspective please.
Kids 8,11 and 13 .
Divorced 2 years. We share their care and we manage to make things work tolerably well, although he pays for very little for the kids throughout the year…. shoes clothes sports equipment etc and tends to palm them off on his mum when they are with him.
Ex husband wants to take them away for 2 weeks next summer on a holiday with his girlfriend and her kids.
I would struggle to be separated from my youngest for this long .
AIBU to say he can take them for 2 1 week holidays? I am aware that I’m jealous he can afford this expensive trip while I can’t, and that his girlfriend will be spending fun times with my kids but still I feel this is too long to be away from them?
Dont want my feelings to spoil a great trip for them though ? do i just suck it up?
please help

It’s understandable that you feel as you do, because feelings are feelings and you can’t help that.

But you’d be wrong to actually try to stop him. This is about the kids not you. They’ll presumably have a really good time.

Try to use the time to look after yourself a bit.

My twins, both of whom have SEN, spent 10 days with their Father abroad when they were 4 and had an amazing time.
Yes, they missed me; yes, I missed them.
However, they also had a blast.
I'd say, suck it up.

YABU - don’t let your jealousy at not being able to take them yourself deprive them of a nice holiday.

2 x 1 week holidays usually cost a lot lot more than 1 x 2 week by the way - so expecting him to pay over the odds is also unreasonable.

Thx all for your replies , i just wasn’t sure if my 8 year old was old enough to be away from his mum for 2 weeks , i know the older 2 will be fine and i’m not concerned about them. anyway thx for the perspective i will look at booking something for myself when they are away, i do try to put them first in everything , just hard to let them go i guess xx ♥️💐

8 (and he’ll presumably be nearer 9 next summer) is absolutely fine to be away from you - he’ll be with his dad and siblings.

Honestly - he's giving you more than enough notice, it's fair imo.

It will be hard, but plan all the jobs you will do - diy projects, visit an old friend, a mini break perhaps. It will give you something to look forward to and something to talk about on their return x

YABU - children are very resilient and flexible I would be shocked if an 8 year old wouldn’t be okay away from you for two weeks, with his dad and siblings, on holiday, unless there were particular additional needs. Of course he will miss you and vice versa and I’m not sure I would even ask him how he would feel about being away from you for two weeks (as he will likely then be more anxious about it), so long as he’s happy to go on holiday with his dad there’s no need to worry about it.

Completely unreasonable to single one of your kids out that you'll struggle to be away from and not the other 2. Suck it up.

I’m glad you’ve taken on board the comments OP.

As well as planning something nice for yourself, I’d also ask your ex to make sure the DC have all the clothes, footwear etc suitable for where they are going. He needs to understand that this is part and parcel of taking kids on holiday and not expect you to provide it all

Was the information about his financial contribution necessary to the rest of the story? Maybe the real problem?
Please have CSA examine his contribution if he is not being fair to the children. Do you get child benefit for the children? You might perhaps be able to also get child and working tax credit? His child maintenance is not included in these numbers but lots don’t check and claim

It says how old they are in the OP!!!

Did you read the post at all ?

You are a great mum for putting them first. It must be very painful but you are right to let them go.

I think asking him to do 2 X 1 week s is unreasonable. It would be much more expensive plus on a 2 week break you get to chill more because if you only go for a week no sooner you get there and unpack you are trying to squash everything in because you know in just a few days you'll be going home. It will be hard but you could book yourself a holiday at the same time.