Working nightmare

[Beyourself1]

I need to know if I’m being unreasonable.

I work in a demanding environment, a very stressful environment with an assistant manager and a manager.

The assistant manager came into our work place 4 months ago, initially we hit it off and got along well. They opened up to me about themselves and everything was great.

However over the last 4 months, this assistant manager has snapped at and shouted at myself, and other members of staff including throwing items down in crates while stomping or storming off.

Aggression towards clients, to the point they’ve argued with paying clients for the business in front of others.

Inappropriate relationship with a team member who’s role is way below theirs, the team member tried to end things amicability and they’ve become obsessed to the point of trying to physically hurt this person at work accidentally on purpose, tried causing a pile on with other members of staff, with open bitching, belittling of said team member, shouting at said team member and harassing them after work as in sat down staring them out.

Im lost on what to do because this person has declared to myself and others that they are autistic, and suffer with being over stimulated.

I’ve tried raising concerns with my direct manager and nothing has been done, it’s getting to the point where I dread coming to work due to the atmosphere and being snapped at, shouted at and spoken to passively aggressively throughout my working day.

Can someone try and help me understand if I’m being unreasonable in thinking that there’s no excuse for this behaviour and they shouldn’t be enabled or excused for doing it? Or is it reasonable in that this is reactive behaviour of someone who doesn’t understand their environment correctly ?

Yes I’ve gone to HR, the problem has still remained.

Bump

Is the person likely to be still working a probation period?

You probably either suck it up, find a new job or submit a formal grievance. Sounds shit all round. Autism is not a justification for cuntiness.

@WhoWants2Know unfortunately not.

There’s been numerous situations as well, including this manager going into the client room and screaming into their arms and pacing up and down then saying they are having a melt down and are over stimulated
this is due to a client asking them a reasonable request and this person taking it the wrong way and flying off the handle.

Every time they snap at me and my colleagues at work they apologise and say it’s because it’s too much for them, they are over stimulated and that they have autism.

Tbh I’m thinking about handing in my notice because I can’t take it much more

@Travis1 a few of us are scared of this person and we have all logged these issues, I don’t see why I have to suck it up. I’m trying my hardest to keep my cool in work and be understanding but my patience is wearing very thin tbh

It sounds incredibly stressful but I would have thought it only a matter of time before they get fired surely?

I’m worried that they won’t because of them saying they are autistic.

Im unsure if they have been properly diagnosed by a professional I know I shouldn’t think that but there’s certain behaviours they display at work that is very toxic to down right hateful. I have experience with my sister as she’s non verbal autistic but never experienced this side of a diagnosis before, I know every person is different but they seem to change and flit back and fourth in their behaviours towards others and every time I work it’s an emotional rollercoaster

You leave or raise a formal grievance.

I would raise a formal grievance.

This is no way to have to work

Formal complaint, don’t let HR ignore this and keep speaking to the manager above this person-they need to tackle the issue, not just hope it goes away. Sounds like a crap manager.

I'm surprised the customers haven't complained.

@Lovemychair they have, and left reviews too.

there was an incident last month where a client got aggressive and demanded to speak to a manager I went and got them and they stood there was sarcastic to this client and walked off leaving me stood there while this client screamed in my face.

My direct manager wouldn’t deal or help defuse this either and I went home from work in tears.

Your company will have to address this. It's already affecting the team as well as most likely costing them clients too.

Definitely raise a grievance. You shouldn't have to leave, but I can see why you would if this is how they handle toxic behaviour.

Okay it’s nerve wracking doing this but a grievance is the way forward, I’m worried they are going to freeze me out with certain other team members like they’ve done to the person they were briefly seeing. That person is too scared to talk out against her in work due to how aggressive and obsessive she’s been towards them.

I would raise a whistleblowing complaint if you have a hotline?

@CuriousGeorge80 we don’t have a hotline ☹️

Is there a regulating body for your place of work?

Formal complaint to HR listing all incidents.

Report anything reportable to the police.

join a union and get them to act

Look at the legislation around safety at work https://www.hse.gov.uk/violence/employer/reporting-learning-from-incidents.htm

yes autism is a disability which is a protected characteristic but people with autism have to abide by the laws everyone else has to abide to

what support is the assistant manager being offered https://www.autism.org.uk/advice-and-guidance/professional-practice/probation-support

What’s your line of work

Autism isn't an excuse to be a knob head. I'm fed up of it been used as a reason for poor behaviour. We still know right from wrong.

Sounds like retail , or a pub. I would be getting a doctor's report to test they do really have autism and deal with it from there, special amendments to the workplace etc. autism awareness training for rest of staff etc

I agree that being autistic does not excuse bad behaviour. The company might help the individual organise some sort of behaviour modification therapy but ultimately if someone cannot do a job and they alienate both staff and clients they need to go.

Some people will suggest this is discrimination but it isn't if it is handled appropriately. Obviously no one is going to say "you're fired because you're autistic" but will need to log the patterns of behaviour that are disrupting business.

As an employee with autism and bipolar disorder, autism is not an excuse for being a dick.

https://www.citizensadvice.org.uk/work/discrimination-at-work/discrimination-at-work/checking-if-its-discrimination/if-youre-being-harassed-or-bullied-at-work/

also this

You have this one bonkers employee. How frozen out can you be? Nobody else is going to join her in freezing you out. She might start blanking you herself, but is that better or worse than her screaming at you? Just go over her head if you need anything.

All support that has been offered to this person has been rejected, they won’t accept any help.

Even when I’ve been working with them, if I’ve needed to help out or assist they’ve stormed off while I’ve been mid explanation or assisting.