To refuse to do this

[liormat]

Presenting and public speaking comes up three or four times a year in my role. It was not mentioned in the job description so I wasn’t aware of it until things shifted and we took on a couple of new projects. I am happy to do quite literally anything else, including picking up the slack for colleagues in other areas.

I don’t mind chatting one on one, happy to deliver training to small groups and speak in meetings where everyone’s sat around a table or over zoom. I would struggle very much to stand up in front of a room of 30+ people and speak.

I am autistic and I do struggle in conversation unless I am extremely familiar with the person. I am high masking so it’s not necessarily obvious at first and can maintain small talk, though internally it’s a lot of effort. I follow a sort of script of what to say in my head with pretty much all conversation, if something throws me off I struggle to know what to say. This is different if it’s just a chat with someone, as the other people can bridge the silence, but if it were just me talking to a crowd it would be very awkward. I can’t think on my feet and be spontaneous with it, I would literally lose the ability to think of what was next! I used to have a mild speech impediment which is still there and worsens with nerves or when I don’t know what to say.

A quick google says a lot of people suffer with this anxiety and avoidance feeds it. On the whole I think facing your fears is good for most things but this task in particular keeps me up at night whenever I know there’s opportunity to do it. Work seem otherwise happy with me, I love my role and it’s something I am very passionate about and good at.

WIBU to not do this task at all on grounds of the above?

I think about 1/3 of people would feel pretty similarly tbh.

Im not understanding the losing your track part, would it not be a presentation where you have notes and have practiced?

More mean, if something were to happen like the PowerPoint were to cut out or the notes had been deleted I couldn’t freestyle. This wouldn’t be a reflection of how much I practised. I could practise for days solidly and this would be the same. I can’t think on my feet verbally no matter the subject matter if the environment is wrong.

I've got used to having to present. I mask my fears, remember the audience is on my side, and go for it. It's always ok in the end.

In terms of your worry about notes, you take a printout. Take two. Always have a back up option e.g. email the slides to yourself so they are in your email account (hopefully in the cloud) as well as your hard drive.

Thank you

No, me neither. I see the next poster mentions printing the slides and notes out.

It might work but it would alter the tone and delivery of the rest of the presentation. I don’t have the stamina or ability to freestyle something like that.

But that's ok because you'd have huge credit for carrying on, despite not having your slides, or screen notes or whatever. People understand. The most important thing is to be human.

Is it an anxiety issue or a sensory one? If it's a sensory one like you find it overwhelming to deal with all the visual information that you have to take in while looking at a big group looking at you... then I think it's grounds for asking for a reasonable adjustment for having a disability. Speak to ACAS.

I think most people feel the same, I'm not austitic and public speaking makes me want to vomit. I'm a rabbit in the headlights.

I think you’d be unreasonable to refuse to do these tasks at all for those reasons yes, because it’s really quite a common thing, very few people like it and lose sleep over it, I know I always do when I have to present anything I hate it, and I know there’s at least 3 others on my team who feel the same. So it wouldn’t be fair for any one of us to refuse to do it, because that would be the rest of us- who struggle with it just as much- would have to do it more.

I’m the same as you, i’d rather take over everyone’s work load for a week than speak on stage for 10 mins! X

Both make the other worse so hard to tell

Think it’s partially sensory in that I over focus on everything and pick up on the smallest detail, noticing sounds/faces more than maybe some people do which distracts me and pushes the info further back in my mind which in turn makes me panic more and lose my words!

But that’s as an emergency measure. I’ve never seen a presentation not work.

Yes I have never seen a work presentation go that wrong.

Or if power point or internet fails we just agree to do another time

It's just supposed to be factual delivery of information and not a witty raconteur like Peter Ustinov.

So at worse you read already printed slides out and promise to email it all afterwards.

I do vomit before presenting so I volunteer to go first mostly to get it over with. I have flash cards done which I put a treasure tag through to keep in order.

Thank you

Can I make a suggestion for your living room? Get a broom and sweep stuff into the middle of the room, then grab a bin bag and throw most of it in.

Wrong thread?

Dave Allen did a joke back in the day, about people hating public speaking so much they'd rather be in the "box" than giving the eulogy. I think it is a common fear (that I also share) - I've done trainings on it that didn't help much.
I've got round it by maybe sitting down and presenting the slides, rather than stood up in front of the crowd...

I think this is tough because so many of us find presenting pretty. I’m well into my career but I hate doing it. I know I have to though. I would happily run away from it, say I was ill, find a reason why no one can expect me to do it. But then I do it anyway.

I think I am more accepting of the fear now, I know it will be there so I expect it. I also know that even if I think things are awful, what I feel inside is not the same thing other people see. They don’t feel what I feel.

Think about people you’ve seen speak in public - how hyper focused on them were you? They will be far more conscious of themselves than you are of them.

when I’m afraid I always remind myself that being brave isn’t about not feeling fear, it’s about feeling fear and pushing on regardless. And in the end what is the absolute worst that is going to happen? No one will die, it will basically all be pretty much the same whether you’re amazing or utterly shite!!

Go for it, and good luck!

I have been known to perch bum on edge of a desk.

So stood up but not so "exposed"

Obviously I am not presenting ever at an industry conference. This is just work. 40-50 max stuff very occasionally

OP, I used to be like you. I don’t know how old you are or how far along in your career but if still quite young and looking to move up I’d suggest you take on these presentations.
just remind yourself that people are not looking to find fault. They will be there for the message and won’t be focusing on how you’re “performing “

This is just my personal view/perspective but it seems like it could count as a reasonable adjustment to me. Or at least definitely not outlandish to explore!

Although I can see other people may find presentations difficult too at times - it may not be qualitatively the same at all, given that you are autistic. It sounds like it may be taking you much longer to prepare and also affecting your well-being outside of work.

In terms of the law on reasonable adjustments, I saw a pp recommend ACAS which can be a really gd resource).
‘Access to work’ can also be helpful (though takes longer) as it gives you a specialist and personalised assessment of your needs/recommendations to employer, if you’re eligible.

Are there any support groups at your company for neurodiversity where you could get help and advice?

good luck! I do feel like one of the challenges with neurodiversity is that others can say ‘oh I have that too’ which I think can be quite incorrect sometimes….. even if well-meaning.

Thank you, you’ve explained me perfectly. I will look into it. Appreciate your reply

Print out the presentation like others suggested and tell people to leave questions to the end.

I was a major speaker at a big professional event. We had all rehearsed ad nauseam and the tech dept of the sponsoring company had merged all the power point presentations into one.

All was going perfectly until it got to mine. I clicked on my first slide and it was completely blank. As was the second. I died a thousand deaths at that point. It was a highly technical presentation and I needed the bullet points to guide me through it.

I had a copy on a usb in my handbag so I whipped it out, put it in the laptop and to my immense relief it worked. I was badly thrown though and I know it was not up to my usual professional standard.

Anyway a few years later I bumped into one of the attendees at another event who mentioned hearing me at that event. I mentioned that dreadful moment with a laugh but he looked completely blank. I will never forget but it had gone totally over the heads of my audience.

Take copies with you and all will be well. The audience won’t remember any hiccups or stumbles you make

Thank god for this comment.

It's really belittling to say 'oh most people feel that way'. Most people are not autistic, it's the impact that is has on the person that's the issue here.

If it was that easy for OP and other autistic individuals to just 'practice' and 'try to get thought it' then autism wouldn't be classed as a disability and protected by law.