AIBU to mention DH bum crack while he’s cooking.

[Duvetfluff]

It’s great he’s cooking, but he’s taken to wading his jeans very low so there is a massive amount of bulbous hairy flesh on show. I can’t believe it’s great for DS15 to see either.
I asked him to pull his trousers up so he turns it onto me, says he has to look at me being gross, and before we know it hes got super angry and we are in a row. Then he says,‘it’s Friday night and I’m going to ask you to literally stop talking’ so I make to leave and he says ‘so I’ve got to cook all the dinner on my own then?’
I said I need a moment to calm down and came in here to grumble to you guys.
AIBU to ask him to wear his trousers properly?
Grrrr!

Well we can’t be sure of that ITI. We have not had clarification of what he observes when OP is “being gross.”

Sounds like there's way more going on here. If I could see my DHs bum, I'd give him a hug and pull them up and make it into a joke "ooh I can see your bum" type thing. But sounds like you're both point scoring in a horrible way. I can bet this isn't the first time and there's issues in your relationship.

Neither would most men. What’s your point?

I don't think I'd fancy eyeing up a hairy arse crack before eating my dinner.

He should cover up.

😂

Yeah I kinda agree. I got the feeling OP was mad about something else and his butt crack “ popped up,” as it were, for her to target. It’s too much fuss and aggression to be caused over a bit of bottom showing in the comfort of one’s own home. I actually felt a bit sorry for him. It’s YABU from me.

Why does there need to be something else going on?

If it were the other way round and op had been told she should cover her lardy rolls while she cooked? Would the MN masses be saying that perhaps her Dh had something else going on that had affected his behaviour?

well I don’t know about the masses but I would probably suspect underlying tension. Different if it was light hearted but she clearly didn’t say it lightheartedly; and if the hypothetical male said it aggressively then yeah, I would wonder if he was feeling generally cranky at her. If my DH said that to me I’d ask what had got his goat. But maybe we don’t just walk about picking at each other … maybe some think that’s normal.

Oh I meant mad at him about something else , not just mad at something unrelated, in case you took it that way. It just sounds like there are tensions for his butt crack to elicit such an uproar.

What tensions make it acceptable to tell a significant other to cover themselves because their flesh is offending others?

Really, I’m struggling here. What tensions could lead to a male in a heterosexual relationship telling his partner that she needed to cover her offensive flesh not only from him, but from their daughter too…

Bulbous?! Heave. He sounds rank.

Urgh, I hate seeing men with their hairy arse crack on show, it's revolting 🤢
You probably could have said it in a better way OP but if it's hanging out at home then it's probably happening in public as well when he bends down to get something at the supermarket or whatever so he probably needs to get better fitting clothes to spare people's eyes 😆

Oh thank you! Have thoroughly enjoyed your responses, especially assorted additions. Spatula! Raisins!
I tried to be jolly, but he took it badly - as he has done before. And no, a hug and a jokey comment would get the same response.
I just don't like bottoms in the kitchen. Even if it's I dunno random handsome film star. They're always popping by and I say the same to them
😄

Having you arse hanging out may be fairly common in practice but it's always fucking rank and unappealing. I couldn't tolerate that in a partner personally

He says he puts up with uou being “gross” what does that look like in reality?

Yeah, it's not acceptable when around others/in public to have your pants so low literal crack is showing, that's just gross. Also no way he didn't know, you can definitely feel when things aren't covered!

I'd say its lack of respect on his part for you and your son to not cover himself decently, nobody should have their arse/genitals or breasts on show unless everyone present is comfortable with that.

We would make a joke along the lines of parking a bike, and he would pull his trousers up. You both overreacted and your 15 year old son must be very precious if you need to shield him from his dad’s arse crack.

I used to post a very cold 5p down DH's exposed bum crack, if he couldn't be bothered. He never knew I kept one in the fridge 😁

He started wearing a belt after a while. He was perfectly free to do the same to me btw!

Ouch, not sure I’d be too popular with a frozen coin! Don’t know if sons precious or not, but I find it grim, as I’d have done if my dad did it. Equally grim when plumber did it, but a least he was under the sink and not fiddling with the frying pans 😀

I hope DP and I never get to the stage of finding each other's bodies as physically repulsive as the OP and her husband (and a worrying number of posters) seem to. I certainly never object to seeing DP's extremely nice arse, even in the kitchen. "Bulbous hairy flesh" is a very offensive phrase to use about someone you're meant to be attracted to.

I was thinking this too.

Wedgie him.

Or buy him some braces for Christmas.

I know im being offensive. But it is. I can’t say this as obviously I’ll get lynched but he’s put on a load of weight, and now has a massive stomach so there is often a naked strip poking out under his top. It’s just not a great look as he sprawls over the sofa. He says he’ll lose weight at Xmas/ next summer etc. but meanwhile doesn’t seem to get that eating cakes doesn’t help. I am a bit worried about him actually. And no, I’ve not got a perfect figure. We sound like a really grim pair.

It’s great he’s cooking
Your standards are low. And he wont even cook without an audience.