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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Who is bu about child's party?

80 replies

Alwayssomethingtodo · 17/11/2023 16:12

So two relatives have fallen out.

Relative 1 - Barbara, is holding a soft play party for her child's 6th birthday.

Relative 2 - Eric and Dorothy are Barbara's brother and sister in law. They have 2dc ages 5 years and a baby 8 months old.

Barbara has invited the 5 year old to the party. It's on a weeknight after school so she offered to pick the 5yo cousin up as Eric and Dorothy don't drive.

However Eric and Dorothy have got very upset that the baby wasn't invited to the party.

Barbara said that as the party is costing a lot per head and there are only 10 places, although the older cousin is invited there didn't seem much point inviting the baby as it will be all school friends and the baby likely wouldn't eat the food or make much use of the place. They are welcome to come along but the baby won't be 'in' the party.

Eric and Dorothy said that Barbara is out of order leaving one of their dc out and have told Barbara not to bother at all.

Wibu?

OP posts:
Mazuslongtoenail · 17/11/2023 18:33

Eric and Dorothy should be delighted that their kid is getting picked up, partied and returned without having to life a finger.

Happy days.

Original poster
Alwayssomethingtodo · 17/11/2023 18:33

Luxell934 · 17/11/2023 18:24

8 month old baby can’t really attend a soft play party with a bunch of 5 year olds, but maybe the parents don’t want to let the 5 year old go alone without them? and would rather the parents go along with the baby too? I guess by offering to pick up the 5 year old then it means the parents are expected to stay at home?

Edited

I don't think that's the issue as cousin has stayed over at our house a few times. We've taken cousin out with us. We've never done anything not to be trusted to look after them.

My bro and sil genuinely seem to be pissed off at me for excluding their baby.

OP posts:
BendingSpoons · 17/11/2023 18:38

I would understand their pov if Pat was about 3 and would understand he was missing out. I personally would have been happy not to have to go to soft play after school and happily stayed at home with the 8mo, who will probably be happy to have extra attention.

DanceMumTaxi · 17/11/2023 18:39

E and D are off their trolley, why do people have to behave like this. B was being really accommodating already offering to take the younger cousin.

LylaLee · 17/11/2023 18:41

It's not a family birthday party baby has been banned from. Just excluded from an activity they can't participate in.

"DB & Sil, I'm sorry you don't want DN to attend DC's birthday outing. We are blowing out candles with a cup of tea on Sunday at our house, and you're all very welcome then."

CattingAbout · 17/11/2023 18:42

People have 6th birthday parties on weekdays after school instead of at the weekend? misses point of thread

Sartre · 17/11/2023 18:43

Eric and Dot are nuts, Barb has the right idea.

Original poster
Alwayssomethingtodo · 17/11/2023 18:48

CattingAbout · 17/11/2023 18:42

People have 6th birthday parties on weekdays after school instead of at the weekend? misses point of thread

Seems to be the done thing for this class especially at this particular soft play.

It's cheaper in the week, the soft play is less busy and a lot of the dc seem to be busy at weekends with dance, swimming and stuff.

OP posts:
YourNameGoesHere · 17/11/2023 18:56

Gosh your brother is a total Muppet. You were being incredibly accommodating offering to pick up their son. I suspect that the 5 year old will lose patience with their sibling having to be included at all costs very quickly!

sprigatito · 17/11/2023 19:01

Eric and Dorothy are lucky the 5yo was invited, never mind seeing their arse because the baby isn't! Barbara should tell the pair of them to get knotted. They can come back (and apologise) when they've gained a bit of perspective and realised their baby isn't actually the Messiah. Wingnuts.

JanglingJack · 17/11/2023 19:04

Eric and Dorothy should be happily waving the 5 year off, get baby to bed and have a couple of hours peace.

They'll learn. Weirdos.

Finteq · 17/11/2023 19:14

Can't ypu just ask the venue.

How much it costs to have a baby.

Of course they don't need a party space- not sure why you're considering that.

It's literally 1 or 2 pounds for entry. And of course they don't need food or a party bag. But it shouldn't be too difficult to allow a baby in.

If you had a baby in arms. You would just hold it while you watch the party. And you're husband would take it to the baby bit for a bit. And can stand in the background when cutting the cake.

I really don't see what the big deal is in paying a couple of quid so the baby can come. If you had a baby I'm sure you would have checked with the venue what the process is,and they would reply- of course you don't have to pay for a full place. Just the normal entry fee which will be a pound or two.

Finteq · 17/11/2023 19:15

We've had baby's loads of times at soft play parties for older kids. They just sit in the background and I chat to the parents.

LylaLee · 17/11/2023 19:20

Finteq · 17/11/2023 19:14

Can't ypu just ask the venue.

How much it costs to have a baby.

Of course they don't need a party space- not sure why you're considering that.

It's literally 1 or 2 pounds for entry. And of course they don't need food or a party bag. But it shouldn't be too difficult to allow a baby in.

If you had a baby in arms. You would just hold it while you watch the party. And you're husband would take it to the baby bit for a bit. And can stand in the background when cutting the cake.

I really don't see what the big deal is in paying a couple of quid so the baby can come. If you had a baby I'm sure you would have checked with the venue what the process is,and they would reply- of course you don't have to pay for a full place. Just the normal entry fee which will be a pound or two.

So OP is meant to host a party with someone's baby in her arms?

Finteq · 17/11/2023 19:26

LylaLee · 17/11/2023 19:20

So OP is meant to host a party with someone's baby in her arms?

Show quote history

It seems they expected to come along.

The parent should be there- which is what I said in one of my other posts.

myotherkidisacassowary · 17/11/2023 19:35

Eric and Dorothy are mental

fuckssaaaaake · 17/11/2023 19:42

Dunno why but these people should have adult children, not 6year olds

SpudleyLass · 17/11/2023 19:48

I know you said they can't drive OP, but your update makes it appear that they would expect to be being responsible for the baby so presumably they could actually get there under their own steam?

If so, I'd invite the baby. I've seen younger babies in soft play tbh.

They are being very unreasonable for the temper tantrum though.

Original poster
Alwayssomethingtodo · 17/11/2023 19:48

Finteq · 17/11/2023 19:14

Can't ypu just ask the venue.

How much it costs to have a baby.

Of course they don't need a party space- not sure why you're considering that.

It's literally 1 or 2 pounds for entry. And of course they don't need food or a party bag. But it shouldn't be too difficult to allow a baby in.

If you had a baby in arms. You would just hold it while you watch the party. And you're husband would take it to the baby bit for a bit. And can stand in the background when cutting the cake.

I really don't see what the big deal is in paying a couple of quid so the baby can come. If you had a baby I'm sure you would have checked with the venue what the process is,and they would reply- of course you don't have to pay for a full place. Just the normal entry fee which will be a pound or two.

Of course bro and sil can come with baby. I did say that was fine and I'd pay the baby in, it just wouldn't be a party place as such. But they cold all come along and have a drink and cake.

I've been told to shove it.

The reason I didn't offer this initially is because I didn't see the point dragging them all over on a weeknight when they don't have a car. I can't fit everyone in my car but could have picked cousin up.

OP posts:
brokenbics · 17/11/2023 19:51

Eric and Dorothy need to give their heads a wobble

Pineapplewaves · 17/11/2023 20:19

At all the soft plays in my area there is a baby section and babies under 2 get in free if accompanying an older child or attending a party.

E&D should pick up their daughter, all
four of them travel to the party on public transport and attend together as a family. Nobody will mind if the baby has a sandwich or a handful of chips from the party food, there's usually loads left and the adults usually eat it as it's paid for anyway.

It's sounds like what's upset them is your offer to pick up the five year old and drive them to the party, it looks like you don't want them to attend/you're trying to leave them out.

strawberry2017 · 17/11/2023 20:33

They are very precious over the 8 month old aren't they?
Completely ridiculous for them to behave this way.

tianabiscuit · 17/11/2023 20:35

Has the baby personally complained?

Hankunamatata · 17/11/2023 20:37

Omg they are weird. Loads parents at my dc party bring babies along, pay them in and give them a snack they brought with them.

Itsbritneybitch22 · 17/11/2023 20:44

Team Barb

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