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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Nanny christmas bonus

244 replies

Letsgetouttahere2023 · 17/11/2023 00:13

I love my nanny and want to show her that this Christmas. Been googling Christmas bonus for nannies and a lot of people say they give 1 week net salary as bonus, which for us would be £500. I just can't afford this!!! Nannies is this what you expect? For context I don't get a Christmas bonus in my job, hence not sure.

OP posts:
Bunnycat101 · 19/11/2023 11:54

£500 feels excessive. I give my cleaner a week’s bonus at Christmas but that is only £45. I’d want to do more for a nanny but I’d have thought £100-200 would be received well.

i also don’t know where this perception of nanny= loaded. It is a costly form of childcare but lots of people don’t have a choice. Eg my doctor friends have a nanny because of their shift start times and unpredictability that means nursery isn’t viable. They’re obviously in a good profession but not exactly the mega rich who can magic up £500 especially when they’re not getting any sort of bonus themselves.

SunRainStorm · 19/11/2023 12:03

SiennaMillar · 19/11/2023 11:51

Ours earns £200 a week (part time), and she’ll be getting at least a £500 bonus. I’d give her more if I could, but I can’t afford it. I love her to bits, she’s worth her weight in gold!

For those saying ‘if you can afford a nanny you must be rich’, ours is cheaper than nursery.

😮

How is your nanny cheaper than a nursery?

KingofIthaca · 19/11/2023 12:06

We used to give ours a present, like everyone else at Christmas.
A bonus is companies offloading profit if they’ve had a good year,

ChampagneVan · 19/11/2023 12:10

ZenNudist · 17/11/2023 00:17

£500 doesn't seem a lot if you can afford a nanny.

Ridiculous comment. Many people spend this, if not more, on nursery fees. Would you by that same token expect OP to spend the same amount on presents for the nursery staff?

mummyh2016 · 19/11/2023 12:10

@SunRainStorm if you have more than 1 child a nanny will always be cheaper.

Viviennemary · 19/11/2023 12:11

If you want to give a Christmas bonus give what you can afford. Lots of folk don't get a Christmas bonus.

AnneValentine · 19/11/2023 12:12

hattie43 · 17/11/2023 06:16

How can someone afford a £2k per month nanny and not be able to find another £500 Xmas gift . Makes no sense to me .

What?!

LadyPoncenbyFroglett · 19/11/2023 12:15

lol, Hi DM!!! Grin
Who plants this vacuous rubbish?

IceAndLemonPlease · 19/11/2023 12:15

I used to do some nannying and still do as freelance from time to time.
I used to like the cash bonuses more than anything if I am being totally honest. A dew put in £80/£100 and I really appreciated that. The problem with gifts is that they don’t always go down well. For example I would have hated spa trip vouchers and toiletries /alcohol. If you just give money then the nanny can do as they please with it. A nice handwritten card goes a long way too. I never had that which used to make me feel sad

coolkatt · 19/11/2023 12:16

as an ex nanny i would say that a weeks wage is nice but, a really nice gift, like jewellery or something a bit valuable but not quite £500 which is crazy. i got a beautiful ring from the family i used to live with. so like a nice piece of jewellery she can keep, earrings. a niecklace. say worth £100 would be more than enough but what would be more lovely to go with it would be a beautiful card of how much u love and value her. these things precious.

Rewis · 19/11/2023 12:17

I can't really keep up with what professions you must give a Christmas bonus, then the ones where you have to give chocos or other small gifts for Christmas and then the ones where you have to always tip.

TrudyProud · 19/11/2023 12:21

hattie43 · 17/11/2023 06:16

How can someone afford a £2k per month nanny and not be able to find another £500 Xmas gift . Makes no sense to me .

Are you giving your kids nursery staff £500 Xmas gift? FT nursery in west London is >£2k per month per child and I certainly won't be giving £1k to the staff . Crazy!

laclochette · 19/11/2023 12:25

I just wanted to add, I'm giving my cleaner more in a bonus than I'm spending on any individual in my family. We aren't big gifters to be fair, but I don't think comparing to what you spend on family members is the right rubric. My CEO will obviously give out more in bonuses than they spend on their family's presents. Employee compensation is not the same as personal gifting.

laclochette · 19/11/2023 12:27

@TrudyProud Yes but they're not your staff. They're their boss's staff. A nanny is your employee.

VanityDiesHard · 19/11/2023 12:31

Blondeshavemorefun · 19/11/2023 11:35

Obviously a card saying thanks means a lot and I've always had this and a small gift from kids

But as someone else posted obv not going to say prefer a handwritten card v £500 cash

Anyone would want /prefer the cash

If you can't do it this year then save £10 a week and next year give £500 if you can

Why should she? As stated by posters earlier on, the expectation for such a generous bonus really comes with very wealthy families, not ordinary middle class ones. I think it is a bit much to expect her to set aside money just so that the nanny can get a big bonus.

laclochette · 19/11/2023 12:35

@VanityDiesHard A bonus is part of compensation: if you can set aside x amount for annual compensation, why not set aside x + 1% of x so that you can make a generous gesture at Christmas to someone who presumably is less well off than yourself?

dessertorchide · 19/11/2023 12:37

SunRainStorm · 19/11/2023 12:03

😮

How is your nanny cheaper than a nursery?

Show quote history

Very easily for 3+ kids if you factor in unpaid leave over a year looking after poorly children or observing D&V 48 hour rule.

Not to mention the cost of your time.

HarrietStyles · 19/11/2023 12:38

It’s very subjective to the area you are in. When I worked as a Nanny to super rich families in central London and abroad, it was not uncommon for nannies to get £5k annual bonuses and I even knew one family that had two nannies and gifted them a new Audi TT each! These rules of a week or months salary are more common at the high end of nannying………. And then tend to filter down and put a lot of pressure on “normal” families who have nannies. I can honestly say that the most treasured gifts I got as a Nanny were the heartfelt hand written cards telling me how much they appreciated me with a hand-made gift from the children. Yes obviously cash bonuses were amazing but if you can’t afford it then don’t. If your nanny is treasured by your family then think of a way to make her feel that, feeling appreciated when you are hard-working nanny is everything for job satisfaction and wanting to stay with a family long-term. Maybe surprise her by booking something you know she would enjoy (eg spa day, afternoon tea) and booking it on her last day of work before Christmas. The day before you could say “surprise this was actually your last day before Christmas, we don’t need you to come to work tomorrow, so have a lie-in and then we have booked a massage and facial for you at XYZ spa near your house. Merry Christmas.”

JRM17 · 19/11/2023 12:38

I am definitely in the wrong job. £500 week net and a £500 bunus.

VanityDiesHard · 19/11/2023 12:41

laclochette · 19/11/2023 12:35

@VanityDiesHard A bonus is part of compensation: if you can set aside x amount for annual compensation, why not set aside x + 1% of x so that you can make a generous gesture at Christmas to someone who presumably is less well off than yourself?

Because it sets up an unreasonable expectation. The OP has already said that 500 is considerably more than she would spend on any member of her own family. I don't think it is fair to expect that, and no reasonable employee would expect it. Give a generous gift, sure, but it doesn't have to be that generous.

ChampagneLassie · 19/11/2023 12:41

A friend got her much appreciated nanny tickets for a Westend show + other thoughtful gifts total value approx £500…nanny explained most of her friends we’re getting cash bonuses of £1500 (SW London) and that was her expectation.

VanityDiesHard · 19/11/2023 12:43

HarrietStyles · 19/11/2023 12:38

It’s very subjective to the area you are in. When I worked as a Nanny to super rich families in central London and abroad, it was not uncommon for nannies to get £5k annual bonuses and I even knew one family that had two nannies and gifted them a new Audi TT each! These rules of a week or months salary are more common at the high end of nannying………. And then tend to filter down and put a lot of pressure on “normal” families who have nannies. I can honestly say that the most treasured gifts I got as a Nanny were the heartfelt hand written cards telling me how much they appreciated me with a hand-made gift from the children. Yes obviously cash bonuses were amazing but if you can’t afford it then don’t. If your nanny is treasured by your family then think of a way to make her feel that, feeling appreciated when you are hard-working nanny is everything for job satisfaction and wanting to stay with a family long-term. Maybe surprise her by booking something you know she would enjoy (eg spa day, afternoon tea) and booking it on her last day of work before Christmas. The day before you could say “surprise this was actually your last day before Christmas, we don’t need you to come to work tomorrow, so have a lie-in and then we have booked a massage and facial for you at XYZ spa near your house. Merry Christmas.”

This post is absolutely spot on. Does anyone remember the tale of the Widow's Mite in the gospel of Mark? Same principle applies here: a small gift from someone of modest means is more generous than a big one from a very wealthy person.

TrudyProud · 19/11/2023 12:48

laclochette · 19/11/2023 12:27

@TrudyProud Yes but they're not your staff. They're their boss's staff. A nanny is your employee.

Your comment presumed if you could afford to pay £2k for childcare (in OP case a nanny, in my case FT nursery) you should have £500 spare to give them a bonus.

It's ridiculous to think that.
I'm due a 2nd (2u2) so will pay double nursery fees . If we have a 3rd I'll get a nanny (because it's cheaper than 3 kids in nursery) and in none of those scenarios does that mean I'd be flash with cash.

itsalongwaybackfromsorry · 19/11/2023 12:51

If you can afford a nanny, I don't think 1 week's wages is an unreasonable expectation. Especially if you want to keep a good nanny.
IMO

VanityDiesHard · 19/11/2023 12:51

itsalongwaybackfromsorry · 19/11/2023 12:51

If you can afford a nanny, I don't think 1 week's wages is an unreasonable expectation. Especially if you want to keep a good nanny.
IMO

RTFT. The OP has addressed this.