My bf of 18 months wants me to go to his family gathering on Christmas day. I want to spend it with my grown up children. I've hinted and sort of told them that I will probably spend the day at home. They seem to have taken great offence at this. I'm very close to my bfs family and see them twice a week usually. I'm happy for my bf to spend time with his family but apparently because he went to my family last year I "owe" him. I didn't make him go and see my family he agreed to come with me. I would have gone on my own.
I am due to go out on Boxing day with them which I think is a good compromise. They go to the pub on Xmas day and I suggested I could go with them to say merry Christmas etc. but now they are saying I should come for tea and stuff. This would be fine, but they've never met my children and to make them go to a house where they don't know anyone would make it awkward.
My bf has also suggested I leave them at home...ummm why would I do that? If the shoe was on the other foot he wouldn't ditch his kids for me and I wouldn't expect him to. It's going to cause problems I can tell. I'm not very assertive and I know I'll be persuaded somehow.
To me it's one day of the year. I see them more than about a third of the year as it is and I rarely have all my children together.