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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to pay my teenage son to practice his guitar?

51 replies

SlartyBartFast · 11/03/2008 21:22

bought him the R**Y thing for his bday.

think he is struggling.
thought 25 a practice would be a good idea.

then of course my dd who actually practices her instrument wants now to be paid!

OP posts:
CantSleepWontSleep · 11/03/2008 21:24

YABU - what if he then wants paying for everything? And it's not fair to pay one child for practicing and not the other - it's like rewarding the one who won't work.

FAQ · 11/03/2008 21:24

ermm why do you want to pay him - if he really wants to learn then he'll pick it up and practice

Dynamicnanny · 11/03/2008 21:24

£25 to practice - I'm sorry but if you have to pay him that much then he obviously doesn't want/need to play the guitar so get rid of it, and cancel his music lessons.

I think you're being very unreasonable

WiiMii · 11/03/2008 21:25

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

CantSleepWontSleep · 11/03/2008 21:25

I assumed 25p not £25!

Original poster
SlartyBartFast · 11/03/2008 21:25

oh no, 25pennies!

and of course i would therefore have to pay dd too.
then what.

OP posts:
mumeeee · 11/03/2008 21:26

YABU. If he wanted the guitar and wants to learn to play it he should practice without bienfg paid.

choccypig · 11/03/2008 21:27

Ooops, I read it as paying him not to practise.
Like paying buskers to stop singing.

choccypig · 11/03/2008 21:27

Ooops, I read it as paying him not to practise.
Like paying buskers to stop singing.

Original poster
SlartyBartFast · 11/03/2008 21:28

he woudl be very rich choccy

OP posts:
smartiejake · 11/03/2008 21:30

Cancel his lessons, sell his guitar and save yourself some money- is he learning it beacuse he wants to or because YOU want him to?
The guitar is actually quite a hard instrument to learn- kids see all the pop stars playing them and think it's easy and then get disheartened when they can't do it straight away. Have a word with his teacher if you think he is struggling.

Original poster
SlartyBartFast · 11/03/2008 21:32

he doesnt have guitar lessons ... i think it is because it is hard that he doesnt want to.
dh teaches him
i have suggsted lessons.

will maybe sell it if this doesnt sway him.

OP posts:
notnowbernard · 11/03/2008 21:34

Don't know about Unreasonable

Bloody Mad, maybe

Surely playing guitar is a hobby/interest/something to give intrinsic pleasure?

If can't be bothered woul suggest disinterest to me, and not worth pursuing IMO

kslatts · 11/03/2008 21:39

YABU, why do you want him to practice so much? Does it metter that much if he's not interested in the guitar.

Original poster
SlartyBartFast · 11/03/2008 21:42

cos it cost money, and i am annoyed that he wont pick it up.

OP posts:
WiiMii · 11/03/2008 21:43

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
SlartyBartFast · 11/03/2008 21:44

i think the consensus seems to be a resounding
i am being unreasonable.

OP posts:
BigBadMouse · 11/03/2008 21:46

No way YABU and it probably wouldn't work anyway.

Once you find the right instrument for your child, they will practice all the time because they love it not because they are being made to.

Chances are, as already mentioned, your DS didn't realise how much hard work it takes to be as good as some of the guitarists he admires.

When I was a kid my parents made me have piano lessons etc etc but all I ever wanted was to play Bass Guitar. When I was your DS's age I got a job, saved up, bought a bass and begged my parents for lessons (which they let me have but only if I continued to practice). I did nothing else but practice for years.

Do you know why he doesn't practice? Formal lessons may help encourage him, You might consider giving that a go if you can afford them (expensive) but tell him if he doesn't keep practicing, the lessons stop and the guitar will be sold to recoup you losses.

notnowbernard · 11/03/2008 21:47

I've just asked dp, who is a guitar player

Reckons you've really got to be into it to want to practice, as it can be painful (bleeding fingers initially)

Also mentioned his brother who was 'encouraged' to attend his piano lessons and ended up biting his teacher!

WiiMii · 11/03/2008 21:47

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

crimbo2008 · 11/03/2008 21:52

I do the opposite - fine dd from her allowance if she doesn't practise the instrument we spent a small fortune on (at her insistence), along with the weekly lessons.

She nagged and nagged for the instrument, now, funnily enough, has to be nagged to practise...but she is improving.

Original poster
SlartyBartFast · 11/03/2008 21:54

i considered that crimbo.
seems harsh.
but could give it a go.

OP posts:
WiiMii · 11/03/2008 21:54

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

dingdong05 · 11/03/2008 22:00

Don't pay him. Your dd would be quite right to expect paying too!
I understand your frustration, but its meant to be for fun after all!
Lessons may be a good way to go tho, gives focus and encouragement an may be the teacher can find music that'll stimulate him.
And if that doesn't work then think about backing off. He's the one who has to learn after all, not you!

Dynamicnanny · 11/03/2008 22:03

I'm sorry but a teenager won't practice for 25p