Is my friend BU or am I?

[Ohitsawonderfultime]

This is long one sorry! My DD is 5 weeks old. Immediate family and 2 of mine and DPs mutual friends have met DD so far.

My close friend is being shitty towards me because she hasn’t met DD yet. Today she called me to say I’m a shit friend because she hasn’t met my DD and then went on to say the following:

She said she was pissed off that I didn’t invite her to visit me in hospital. She was upset I didn’t call her on her birthday, DD was born on that day in the early evening but I sent her a text earlier that day.

She told me her depression has got worse because she hasn’t met DD. She’s upset that I don’t allow her to come up on Sundays when her DD is at her dad’s. Family have visited every Sunday since DD was born except the one just gone my partner took DD out to his parents for the day whilst I got some rest. I said we can meet up to catch up the other day but when I said I don’t have DD she didn’t reply.

She’s upset I don’t stay on the phone to her for hours anymore. She used to call me every morning and stay on the phone for hours whilst we were both working from home but now I just don’t have the time to do that. I come off the phone as soon as DD starts fussing.

Shes unemployed at the moment so can visit during the week whilst her DD is at school and I have said come up several times. She said she can’t as my road has parking restrictions so she’ll have to pay to park. I offered to pay. There have been 2 occasions on a Monday she said she’s coming in the evening as her DD is at dads (parking is free after 5) and didn't turn up. I said no to a visit 2 weeks ago because she had a cold and tonsillitis. She was annoyed.

I arranged to meet up tomorrow but just this evening my partner has told me he might have surgery tomorrow (very last minute due to a chronic health condition so they want to get him in asap due to complications he’s experienced last couple weeks) I mentioned this and she got even more angry at me. I snapped and said you know what fine I can’t be bothered I’ll pander to you. She said yay and laughed saying she was joking around?

She’s now saying I need to come to her because of my parking restrictions. I had an emergency c section so I can only take the bus as I am not supposed to drive for 6 weeks. It takes 1.5 hours by bus to get to her or a cab is £30 one way. She said she’ll pick me up half way after her DD finishes school. I asked if she can do earlier as I need to be around just incase my partner does in fact need surgery. I’ll need to be at home for the late afternoon/early evening as the hospital is 10 mins away just incase I need to bring him anything or he’s discharged after. Also I said it’s cold i don’t want to be travelling late with DD. She said I need to re evaluate my priorities because I’ll lose her as a friend and put the phone down.

Am I a shit friend? I think she’s being bonkers but I’m very tired and irritable right now so I could be wrong.

I thought this too and have asked her is everything ok but she does have form for being dramatic at times and thinks the world and their dog is against her and jealous.

I still have in the back of my mind that she must be going through something which she doesn’t want to share but it’s unlike her not to say something as she has no problems sharing. Sometimes shares too much.

Maybe it will come out one day but right now I don’t have the energy to deal with this behaviour.

I had friends like this. Moaned that they didn't know that I'd given birth for 4 days. I had to have an emergency c section, almost died, had sepsis and was in the high dependency unit with no signal. DH was slightly busy running between me in hdu and dd in nicu so didn't update people until I was out of the woods.

I soon realised I didn't need that level of drama in my life. It was a symptom of a much bigger level of drama and narcissism among the friend group.

Now I have less friends, but better quality, and much less stress and drama in my life.

She's a total drama llama. Don't pander to this.

I predict that she will either come on to your partner or wipe her shitty shoes on your rug.

In short, ditch this friendship. Block and delete.

Otherwise she will damage you in some way sooner or later.

The fact she says her depression and your 5 week old are in anyway connected is disturbing.

I wouldn't let her anywhere near your child given this declaration and the fact she is coming across as unstable.

She also appears to be a very demanding, intense person with zero thought or consideration for you.

She's all about her, isn't she. She was before the baby - long phone calls every day, and I bet she wasn't interested in anything about you - and now after the baby.

Drop her and block her. Or send her one last message saying that losing her as a friend seems a price well worth paying so she should consider the friendship over.

She sounds insane. You have just had a baby, you are recovering from a C section and you are probably up most of the night exhausted with your newborn and somehow she thinks SHE should be your priority?! I'm gobsmacked.
She sounds extremely toxic OP, I'd steer clear of her in the future

Block on every platform and don't answer the door to her.

I would message her... I will not be spoken to like this.. and block her

Block her, she's barking. I'd have no time for this crap.

As soon as she called you a shit friend you should have known she is no friend to you. She’s absolutely unhinged to tell you you’ve made her depression worse.
You’ve just had a baby. You’re recovering from the birth and adjusting to life with a newborn. You need to focus your energy on your baby now and your own recovery, not pandering to a leech like this who plays games. A decent person would be wanting to help and support you. She even has you thinking that maybe you are the unreasonable one.

Time to cut yourself free from her and spend time with people who love and support you.

You have a newborn baby FFS, you definitely should not be friends with this woman any more and not lose sleep over it. At least you know the times she wont be knocking on your door - before 12 or between 2 & 5pm! 🙄

What an absolute loonbag.

Do you really want this overbearing, rude, selfish person as a regular feature in your life?