Dad wants to take 5 Yr old palliative boy out the country help!

[Sarahblack1876]

I split with my ex 6 months ago and our son is palliative and very poorly with his heart. His life expectancy is not great.
Us as a family took our son to florida in Feb but it took ALOT of planning re I insurance..oxygen on plane.. feeds...meds which I done it all!
When we went last time my ex wanted to take him on fast rides despite warning signs for heart patients not to go on them.
My ex now wants to take our son to florida with his parents in Jan for 3 weeks and to be honest I'm not comfortable with it. There has been issues with my ex looking after him at times and mess ups when he's been in his care!! What if my son passes away in America and I'm not there!! I feel so bad I don't know what do to

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/relationships/4941130-help-am-i-being-used?reply=130675236

Why not?
Mumsnet threads often work as catalysts - the OP formulates the story, completes it with relevant side information, organise their thoughts.

In the end it will have to be discussed and resolved in the real world, but starting with understand one's own position often helps.

Receiving palliative care doesn't always mean coming to the end of life, so it perhaps depends on the life expectancy involved. 3-4 years is of course somewhat different to 3-4 months. Both terribly distressing still of course and I can see why you have concerns about being separated and the potential risks involved are off putting. Perhaps there is a compromise solution such as you also attending. If the child is already gravely ill then I agree with others that it is hard to see an airline or insurance supporting such a trip.

I think in your position, I would consider whether the time in Florida is quality time that your son enjoys.
I know you have mentioned that extensive planning goes into him travelling, but is that something that he is affected by negatively or is it managed and is he happy to be going on holiday?
How does the weather affect him? The weather messed about with FILs heart when we last took him, so im asking.

I would have one stipulation that i went, because theres no way that my seriously unwell son would be away from me for that period of time, and I would want those memories with him.

I think that in the situation there needs to be lots of give and take from both sides whilst trying to ensure your son is able to get the greatest memories possible.

@ZiriForGood

click on the link

the op’s thread she started this week

she has been abroad 7x in 6 months with her very new boyfriend

This thread shouldn’t be anywhere really as it’s missing a huge back story clearly