To let my 12 year old dye her hair?

[Mothership6]

My daughter has ginger hair, it is beautiful to me but she’s been asking to dye it for quite a long time now.

She started year 7 in September and whilst she has a great friendship group and she’s not being bullied or anything (thankfully) she does get the odd nasty comment.

Would it be unreasonable to dye her hair?

I’m worried that by letting her I’m saying her hair isn’t beautiful as it is- although I’m probably overthinking it 🤷🏻‍♀️

Red hair is very difficult to dye over (it doesn't take colour well) so isn't advisable to try herself, no decent hairdresser will touch it because they won't be insured (dyes aren't tested on children)
I personally think dyeing it to cover it up is the wrong message to support. Could you do something else to help her like it, eg cut, pamper session?

I'd let her (being a ginger myself!)
Would she do highlights/low lights rather than whole head which is a pain to keep up with.
What is the schools policy if she pitches up with pink hair?
Ours has no 'unnatural' colours

I definitely wouldn't use anything involving permanent colour or bleach. Hairdressers wouldn't (or shouldn't!) touch it with dye either.
Could you try something like this to help give her a deeper, warmer colour but without all the chemicals?

www.superdrug.com/hair/hair-colourants/wash-in-wash-out/superdrug-colour-effects-wash-in-wash-out-auburn-674/p/794723

She's too young. As a PP has said, hairdressers won't do it as she's too young and home box dyes aren't likely to be successful and they also shouldn't be sold to under 16s.

The fact she's too young aside, she's much more likely to get bullied for a hair dye job that's gone green or orange rather than her natural hair, which you say doesn't cause any issues for the most part.

And then there's the upkeep, costs, special shampoos to lengthen the life of the colour etc...

That's not intended for anyone under 16.

I would do some research and see if possible to say use semi permanent light brown. Otherwise she may try it herself

I'd let her, you would probably have most luck with home highlights, as PPs have said most salons won't dye kids' hair.

Get a cap or some foils and do a patch test underneath somewhere, both to check the results and to look for any reactions.

@Flickersy oh apologies I didn't realise. I've got some and it's just shampoo that leaves a tint.
No dye is going to be suitable for under 16s to be honest op.

I don't think age restrictions on these are widely publicised, but for obvious reasons cosmetic companies can't test on children and given how much children's physiology can change during puberty (my aunt developed a severe skin allergy to almost everything for two years when she was 11, then it disappeared!) it's a bit risky to start putting hair dye on a child.

Salons won’t dye childrens hair for very good reasons. It makes the idea of doing it at home all the worse!

No, I wouldn't let her...it's too young.

I wouldn’t let her dye her hair that young tbh. Wait until she is 16. Especially if it’s only because she is getting the odd nasty comment. I would say it’s better to talk with her about how to deal with those comments instead of changing her appearance. I got the odd nasty comment about my nose but I couldn’t change it. Better to deal with it :)

Sorry too young imo

Having red hair myself I can understand her thoughts. If maybe let her get some blonde/strawberry highlights but I don’t think I’d let her dye it.
But if it’s just something she’s pondering I’d probably say no to any hair dye at her age tbh.
I did it in year 11 and the head of year pulled me to one side and asked if I was being bullied because why else would I dye my lovely hair 😂😂 luckily my mum only let me do it semi permanent so it washed out.

Does she actually want to dye it? It's very hard to dye red hair. My kids have coloured their hair in the holidays with wash in wash out stuff since around age 10, I wouldn't have an issue with the age but more the end result.

I would suggest using something that will just tint or change the tone of the hair.

you can use a coloured hair gloss to make the hair browny-gingery.

or a proper semi permanent dye to change the tone of the red, to make it more auburn or coppery.

I would say that subtle is the way to go, if you change it drastically it’s just sending a signal up to bullies that says “I’m insecure about this”

I would have no problem letting a 12-year-old colour their hair for any reason they wanted, really. However, as others have said, definitely get advice from a hairdresser on what will be the most gentle on her hair and the easiest to maintain. You don't want to be bleaching or anything like that at her age, and you don't want something that will grow out leaving obvious roots that will just make her more self-conscious.

I don't think I would want to support this, I would prefer to train my child to tell anyone who made comments to get stuffed and then report the bullying to school.

We shouldn't have to change ourselves just because some other people are bullies.

Bit sad this shit is still going on.

I have a sort of mousey/strawberry blonde hair. I would use temporary wash in/wash out and later semi-permanent dyes from Year 7 to Year 11, with the odd highlight along the way.

As long as it's not permanent hair dye, it'll be fine.

as long as it isnt against school policy, absolutely go for it, now is her time to experiment and find her style. Personally i would ask advice from a hairdresser first though cause im clueless

Semi perm light brown, help her do it. Do it over Christmas, so she can get used to it. But I think ginger hair is very beautiful.

It’s dangerous

https://bartlettslaw.co.uk/blog/hair-dye-allergies-children/#:~:text=Hair%20dye%20products%20may%20cause,particularly%20if%20they%20are%20asthmatic.

Firstly, stop calling it ginger. Call it red or copper or auburn or fox or strawberry blonde or any other lovely word for it but not ginger, which has negative connotations.

Secondly take her for a chat with a really good hairdresser about the possibility of dying it, but also for a funky new haircut. Make sure you pick someone who will talk up how beautiful her hair is.

Thirdly, what about something like getting her colours done? It could be another way to encourage her to embrace her hair colour rather than hate it.

Not at 12, no.

Take her to a good hairdresser and allow her to have it cut as she pleases, but wait until she is 16+ before allowing her to dye it (hopefully she will have changed her mind by then, red hair is lovely!).

Too young.