To feel awkward staying as a guest in others' houses

[fartfacenotfatface]

I need to get over this. I work in a job where we sometimes have fairly late finishes / early starts away from our usual place of work, that are just within the limits for the company needing to provide accommodation so I'm expected to go home overnight (just under 2 hours to/from home). Colleagues living nearer to the occasional workplace kindly often offer me a bed for the night so save me travelling to and fro but I just feel so awkward staying with others in their homes so I say no.
We're all good work friends but obviously I don't know their husbands / wives very well. Most live in small homes with one bathroom (as do I so I'm not being snooty!) and it stresses me out.

What if I'm cleaning my teeth / taking a shower when they want to use the bathroom? What time do I get up in the morning? Is it too formal to arrange a schedule the night before when retiring to bed so as not to be in anyone's way the next day? I know I'm overthinking this but I can't be the only one who feels like this when being hosted. Do I take wine (what if they then feel obliged to drink it when they might not want to)? HELP! It would make my life so much easier if I could stay and I love these people very much so it's not that I don't want to be there as such.

Totally agree! It’s nice of them to offer but I would absolutely bloody hate this. I like to be able to chill out after work and not worry about sharing facilities with people I really don’t know well, let alone their families whom I’ve never met before. I’d ask work to provide a hotel (doesn’t have to be an expensive flashy one) or costs to go home.

Well, once a month is a regular occurrence not occasional. How long is the drive in usually? The company should really base their cutoff on that if that's how they're doing it and thst leg is longer. If it's a few mins under I don't think they should be quibbling if it's there and back, it's your cumulative commute there and back not the drive one way.

I think it's fine to stay with work friends but not ok that you're expected to under these circs. Not if you have a normal commute from your usual office.

I hate sharing space and always imagine I will pick that one night to have a tummy bug

I wouldn't feel comfortable doing this either but you could just not do it or ask as PPs say and see how it goes. It could get easier. Saying that I'd probably not want a colleague staying over if it became a regular occurrence and maybe you need to move closer to work if that's at all possible.

I can't offer any good advice as I would absolutely hate this and I'd rather a long drive home or a hotel.

Yea. Love having coffee, drinks or dinner with (some) colleagues but staying overnight? No. Boundaries get blurred and I'd hate the thought of having to host a colleague as part of a work thing. I like to chill on the sofa in comfy clothes in the evening 'etc.
I wouldn't want them to feel uncomfortable either "having to host". Especially after a long, intense day at work.

Your company should be providing accommodation in these circumstances.

Unless it's some "hippy" company from the 70's where that was kind of the norm, dossing at other's houses, been there, done that

Offer to cook dinner.

Mumsnet at its most ridiculous.

Oh I hadn't even thought of that

If your company has a healthy bank balance and a good turnover then it’s absolutely ridiculous that they expect you to drive home late and wake up early. Driving without enough rest is dangerous. Your company have a duty of care to you.
have you raised this?

Crazy idea... But have you tried telling them about your feelings??

If they're your friends they will probably accept it as a quirk of yours and can offer extra support when you're in their homes to reduce the awkwardness. People are generally appreciative when you're open with them about how you feel; they can probably sense your discomfort anyway so at least its an explanation. You got this!

If they were social friends or family fine but if I'm honest I can't see even good work pals appreciating this being made their problem when just trying to do a simple good turn by offering a bed for the night.

The company are being quite stingy here if it's a round trip that involves a late finish, an early start and is only just short of the average travel time cutoff on one of the legs.

I'd say push back on the company and in the meantime either accept with grace or don't (fine to clarify bathroom times and give a little gift) but I wouldn't have felt it ideal to start offloading your emotional concerns on them when they're only trying to help and it's not that close of a relationship.

Explain to work.that not being able to stay overnight is not acceptable.
You are not sufficiently rested after a long drive home and an early start to commute again.

And looking for different job options might be useful.

So bloody what! It’s someone like you in the office who likes to gossip about others instead of getting on with their own life that’s the issue .
No issue in staying at a single males house .

Everyone must be sleeping together if they are single and the opposite sex ?

@Flyingalone No males have offered me to stay. All female colleagues- some straight, some gay (hence why I mentioned meeting husbands and wives).