6yo responsible for infant

HuckleberryBlackcurrant · 2023-11-14T18:09:34+00:00

My 6yo son was telling me yesterday that his classmate, a little girl, was expressing to him that she is responsible for her baby sister's care. Changing nappies, sharing a room, waking up at night to make bottles for the baby.... My son told me this with confusion. He has a 3 mth old sister, so the contrast to him was clear. We ask him to fetch toys, blankets etc for the baby or to hold the baby occasionally, but that's it. He seemed to understand that this girl is responsible for 'watching' her sister. Should I mention this to the teacher?

Tiredbehyondbelief · 14/11/2023 18:11

Absolutely do mention. Babies can choke on formula if left with a bottle unattended. In any case it's just wrong

Dacadactyl · 14/11/2023 18:11

I wouldn't unless the family would give me other concerns.

At 6, I suspect either she's over egged the pudding or DS has misunderstood.

Lovingitallnow · 14/11/2023 18:12

My 7 year old told me completely honestly and seriously that he babysits his brothers whenever I'm not there- ie. not in the room. So I can imagine him telling someone he has to look after his brothers when I'm not there. He also will help fetch snacks etc which probably translates to he feeds them as well. I'd tell the teacher but I wouldn't be actually concerned. I'd imagine it's very unlikely however on the very slight of chance it's true no harm to tell the teacher.

pastaandpesto · 14/11/2023 18:14

I think it's far more likely that the child is making it all up as a harmless experiment in wish fulfilment. But if you are genuinely concerned then I don't think there's any harm in mentioning it to the teacher.

Iam4eels · 14/11/2023 18:14

Yes, mention it.

It's very likely innocent and the 6yr old is either exaggerating or she's talking about her "baby" and it's really a doll. However there is also the chance she is in a neglectful situation at home which is placing both her and her sibling at risk.

You don't which it is so you need to say something. Safeguarding relies on people reporting their concerns.

WeightoftheWorld · 14/11/2023 18:15

Lovingitallnow · 14/11/2023 18:12

My 7 year old told me completely honestly and seriously that he babysits his brothers whenever I'm not there- ie. not in the room. So I can imagine him telling someone he has to look after his brothers when I'm not there. He also will help fetch snacks etc which probably translates to he feeds them as well. I'd tell the teacher but I wouldn't be actually concerned. I'd imagine it's very unlikely however on the very slight of chance it's true no harm to tell the teacher.

I have a 5.5yo who has a 2yo sibling and agree with this post completely. Almost certainly not an accurate report of the situation but mentioning it won't cause any harm.

BoohooWoohoo · 14/11/2023 18:17

Hopefully she's making it up but you never know so I would mention it.

belleager · 14/11/2023 18:18

I'd mention just in case, but I definitely had the same illusions with my younger brothers when they were babies - if they woke me at night I was delighted with myself if I patted them through the cot bars and they went to sleep. And if they were up getting a bottle, obviously I wanted to be downstairs too getting under people's feet "helping". We did a lot of "being gentle with baby, looking after baby while he sits in his buggy, holding baby's hand to help while he's being changed" which was really just a nice form of small children crowd control.

Pooooochi · 14/11/2023 18:18

My 4 year old would tell you in detail she looked after our friends baby.

Reality: she held it while sat on my lap with me helping her, hovered excitedly close by while it was changed and fed, then spent half an hour stroking it and cooing at it.

When we got at home she then role played with her doll for ages.

YogiYogiBear · 14/11/2023 18:18

It's likely she's exaggerating BUT please mention it to the teacher. It won't cause harm and if it's true could help two kids.

Original poster

HuckleberryBlackcurrant · 14/11/2023 18:19

My child rides the bus to school so I've never seen this other family. The little girl seemed very sweet when I volunteered in the classroom one time.

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WeeOrcadian · 14/11/2023 18:24

HuckleberryBlackcurrant · 14/11/2023 18:19

My child rides the bus to school so I've never seen this other family. The little girl seemed very sweet when I volunteered in the classroom one time.

I'm not sure how that's relevant to anything

I'd mention it - would be nothing - could be something

TheresaCrowd · 14/11/2023 18:27

Could be her making up stories or it could be true, so yes I'd mention it.

Sirzy · 14/11/2023 18:28

It’s better to mention it than it be nothing than ignore and it be something. We are encouraged to note “niggles” incase they become part of a bigger picture.

get in touch and just say what you have said here, the teacher can then follow up as needed. It may be nothing, it may be neglect, it may be a family who need support.

volunteersruz · 14/11/2023 18:28

Honestly no please don’t waste the teachers time. Children come out with all sorts of fantasies,we have heard some amazing stories and the likelihood is pretty near 0 that this is how it is. All kids will “help” their parents with their baby sibling won’t they?

Original poster

HuckleberryBlackcurrant · 14/11/2023 18:29

I guess it's not really relevant ha. She didn't seem like a neglected child to me.

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Original poster

HuckleberryBlackcurrant · 14/11/2023 18:30

Should I ask my son to ask his friend to clarify? Or just leave it.

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BertieBotts · 14/11/2023 18:32

Are you in the UK or somewhere else? People will be giving advice based on the UK school safeguarding systems. If you're somewhere else then the advice might not be appropriate.

(I just wondered with rides the bus - in the UK six year olds don't go by bus to school without an adult.)

Original poster

HuckleberryBlackcurrant · 14/11/2023 18:33

@BertieBotts

I'm British, living in the US.

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SgtJuneAckland · 14/11/2023 18:35

DS tells people he is the only one responsible for the cat, it's not true, he just puts his biscuits and water down in the mornings, if he forgets we do it, we also do litter tray, evening meal, vets, grooming etc.
You could mention it to the teacher, just I'm not sure if DS is muddled but he seems to think Jessica is getting up at night to give her baby sister bottles, changing her nappies etc because that's what she's told him. I'm sure it's just crossed wires but thought I'd let you know just in case

rainbowunicorn · 14/11/2023 18:36

BertieBotts · 14/11/2023 18:32

Are you in the UK or somewhere else? People will be giving advice based on the UK school safeguarding systems. If you're somewhere else then the advice might not be appropriate.

(I just wondered with rides the bus - in the UK six year olds don't go by bus to school without an adult.)

I'm in the UK and children very much do go to school on the school bus where I live. The same is true for many rural areas.

romdowa · 14/11/2023 18:38

As someone who actually did care for my sibling quite a bit at the age of 6, I'd say report it , it will do no harm if its not true and if it is then it could add to a bigger picture. FYI I didn't look neglected either , you don't have to be wearing dirty uniforms and be unclean to be neglected.

Scaraben · 14/11/2023 18:39

Lovingitallnow · 14/11/2023 18:12

My 7 year old told me completely honestly and seriously that he babysits his brothers whenever I'm not there- ie. not in the room. So I can imagine him telling someone he has to look after his brothers when I'm not there. He also will help fetch snacks etc which probably translates to he feeds them as well. I'd tell the teacher but I wouldn't be actually concerned. I'd imagine it's very unlikely however on the very slight of chance it's true no harm to tell the teacher.

Fully agree. My 5yr old adores her baby brother and will tell anyone who will listen about all the jobs she does to take care of him. She does actually know how to change a nappy and will safely play with him while I'm in the room doing a chore e.g. folding laundry. I'm sure this probably gets translated to her being solely responsible for him when she tells her friends in the playground!

WhatNoRaisins · 14/11/2023 18:41

Odds are this girl is exaggerating or making this up. I could easily imagine my DD claiming to be looking after a baby single handedly if we had one. It could be that the baby wakes her in the night and she goes and sees what's going on.

It wouldn't do any harm to speak to her teacher.

AnonymousAdopter · 14/11/2023 18:41

I also say report it.
My AD1 when age 5 was left in sole care of her baby sister.
They eventually were taken into care but only after reports from school, neighbours and police to make a complete picture.