Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

6yo responsible for infant

39 replies

HuckleberryBlackcurrant · 14/11/2023 18:09

My 6yo son was telling me yesterday that his classmate, a little girl, was expressing to him that she is responsible for her baby sister's care.

Changing nappies, sharing a room, waking up at night to make bottles for the baby....

My son told me this with confusion. He has a 3 mth old sister, so the contrast to him was clear. We ask him to fetch toys, blankets etc for the baby or to hold the baby occasionally, but that's it. He seemed to understand that this girl is responsible for 'watching' her sister.

Should I mention this to the teacher?

OP posts:
Canuckduck · 14/11/2023 18:43

You have no idea if it’s accurate or not and no way to find out. I’d mention it to the teacher who can ask a few more questions and knows the other child.

Sirzy · 14/11/2023 18:46

HuckleberryBlackcurrant · 14/11/2023 18:30

Should I ask my son to ask his friend to clarify? Or just leave it.

No, that puts him an awkward position and he isn’t in a position to decide what is important or not anyway. Even adults are told not to try to investigate further (unless that’s their job) just to report it appropriately.

i don’t know about US schools but I am guessing it will be similar to here where schools have a way of recording things to see if it forms a bigger picture or it’s a one off.

ChainBastard · 14/11/2023 18:46

volunteersruz · 14/11/2023 18:28

Honestly no please don’t waste the teachers time. Children come out with all sorts of fantasies,we have heard some amazing stories and the likelihood is pretty near 0 that this is how it is. All kids will “help” their parents with their baby sibling won’t they?

It's 100% not a "waste of the teacher's time". Safeguarding is EVERYONE'S responsibility, it's part of the teacher's job. Yes it is very likely that the child has exaggerated or made it up, but it's not completely impossible. This info could be a vital part of the picture that is needed to help some children stay safe, how is that a waste of time? It's not like you're going to the teacher saying "x told my boy she rides home from school on a green unicorn". It could be true, and if it is true, those children need help.

allmycats · 14/11/2023 18:47

She may not be exaggerating, as a 6 year old in the 1960’s I was most certainly looking after my 2 younger siblings. Including having to ‘ stay awake ‘ in case I was needed whilst my, outwardly respectable parents, were out partying. I also bathed the baby, changed his nappy and gave him his bottle. Please report.

Strawberrycheesecake7 · 14/11/2023 18:49

I would mention it to the teacher just to be on the safe side. But it’s probably more likely the little girl helps with the baby a little bit (such as fetching things) and is exaggerating her role to show off a bit to her friends. Nothing really wrong with that as she won’t understand that it sounds concerning to an adult.

DiddyHeck · 14/11/2023 18:51

volunteersruz · 14/11/2023 18:28

Honestly no please don’t waste the teachers time. Children come out with all sorts of fantasies,we have heard some amazing stories and the likelihood is pretty near 0 that this is how it is. All kids will “help” their parents with their baby sibling won’t they?

Silly advice.

It doesn't take a minute to have a quick word just in case.

Weepingskies · 14/11/2023 18:54

My daughter has been getting the school bus with no adult (other than the driver!) since she was four along with many other kids. Totally normal round here.

I think if you’re worried tell the teacher - there’s nothing to lose except a few minutes of time if there’s no cause for concern and everything to lose if there are genuine worries and they go unaddressed.

mathanxiety · 14/11/2023 18:58

HuckleberryBlackcurrant · 14/11/2023 18:33

@BertieBotts

I'm British, living in the US.

Yes, mention it in an email to the class teacher.

Neglected children don't come with big signs pinned to their clothing. Many are happy in school because it's so ordered and they get to be kids there, eating school lunch, relaxing at recess, playing...

Shopper727 · 14/11/2023 18:58

You wonder how many people don’t mention things their kids tell them so as not to waste the teachers time, the teacher will know the parents, know the child etc better than you and have more insight into whether this might be correct or if she’s exaggerating but I’d rather waste someone’s time than say nothing tbh

LakeTiticaca · 14/11/2023 18:58

If a 6 year old is getting up in the night feeding a baby I would be inclined to think the child would be falling asleep in class. Does the child look unkempt? Surely there would be some obvious clues

mathanxiety · 14/11/2023 18:59

Don't ask your son to clarify.

The teacher can observe and engage the child in an informal chat.

momonpurpose · 14/11/2023 19:01

I would love to say your son or the girl are mistaken or worded it wrong but honestly you never know. Id definitely mention it to the teacher. You sound like a good caring person to be concerned.

Mumofteenandtween · 14/11/2023 19:05

99% chance that the child is exaggerating. But there is a 1% chance that this is exactly what is going on.

I am always happy to look stupid 99 times if it means that 1 child is saved.

Original poster
HuckleberryBlackcurrant · 14/11/2023 20:39

@LakeTiticaca

The girl has looked fine to me the handful of times I've seen her

OP posts:
New posts on this thread. Refresh page