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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To join the church choir …

68 replies

Adarajames · 14/11/2023 14:31

When I’m not Christian nor do I believe in the Christian version of God?

But!

I love singing, was a chorister when younger for years, and really miss singing, but all the local choirs require a membership and / weekly fee, which I can’t really afford.

Church choir doesn’t, and even get paid if sing at weddings (very small amounts really), and I really enjoy singing hymns and liturgy and choral works, so would I be unreasonable to try it out?

OP posts:
Pootles34 · 14/11/2023 14:32

I don't think so - I bet you won't be the only one, either. I wouldn't shout about it, but I think it would be fine.

ThisIsMe202 · 14/11/2023 14:33

You can absolutely sing in a church choir when you’re not religious.
you can enjoy singing and the music for its own sake.
i have sung in churches and liturgical music for years and I’m not religious.

cheezncrackers · 14/11/2023 14:33

Do it! I just joined the parents' choir for the school carol service and I'm not religious either - I just like to sing. I'm sure they'll be delighted to have you.

gotomomo · 14/11/2023 14:34

Go for it. We had a Hindu, a Muslim and a Jew in ours pre covid, alas never really got going since

JamieFraserskneewarmer · 14/11/2023 14:36

Go for it - another non-believer church chorister here!

Catza · 14/11/2023 14:36

I would, unless the church had specific requirements that you also attend service/be part of church community.

MojoDojoCasaHouse · 14/11/2023 14:42

Singing is amazing so YANBU. I sang in a church choir until I became a grumpy teen at 14. Sang in school productions as well. I rediscovered singing at 40 and now sing in a high standard accapella choir. We do several concerts a year and I do love performing. Maybe it’s worth looking at other singing opportunities? But if you enjoy hymns specifically then go for it and enjoy. Acoustics tend to be amazing in churches.

watcherintherye · 14/11/2023 14:42

I remember someone well known talking on R4 about ‘cultural Christianity’. He wasn’t able to buy into the whole shebang, but loved the attached ritual and music, which I think is enough, and describes me to a tee! I belong to a music group attached to an Anglican Church. I would loosely describe myself as an agnostic, but someone else who plays is an out and out atheist! We all play at Evensong and church events occasionally as the ‘quid pro quo’ for rehearsing in the church. I really love it, and I don’t think it matters what you do or don’t believe, if you are playing or singing in good faith, (as it were!) and with enjoyment.

Bluevelvetsofa · 14/11/2023 14:49

If you love singing, it’s only costing you time, not money and you would enjoy it, then go for it.

Youcannotbeseriousreally · 14/11/2023 14:51

Absolutely you can and it will be lovely! remember there is so much more to church communities than just religion.

Hollip · 14/11/2023 14:52

Great idea. Definitely join. You will meet new people and I’m sure a good choir helps the church increase attendance. As long as you are not disrespectful about their beliefs and are happy to chat about the church and services etc then I would join.

EvilElsa · 14/11/2023 14:54

I wouldn't personally (I also wouldn't be a godparent) BUT I wouldn't judge you at all for doing so. Enjoy yourself!

AffIt · 14/11/2023 14:56

I'm agnostic at best, but love liturgy and choral music - the work of Thomas Tallis can bring me to tears - so go for it.

In the words of Tim Minchin, 'the lyrics are dodgy, but I quite like the tunes'. 😉

Mariposista · 14/11/2023 15:07

I am a Christian and have sung in choirs most of my life, and you would be so welcome! Lots of our church choir members are more in it for the music than the spiritual side. As long as they are respectful during mass (you would be), then we would love to have your great singing voice with us.
My lovely friend is the vicar of our church and she would say the exact same - as one of her favourite hymns go 'All are welcome in this place'.

Please do it OP!

Adarajames · 14/11/2023 16:04

Thank you all, was half expecting a lot of negative responses so this is great.

what do those who are just in it for the singing do during communion? When I go to carol services etc I just stay in my seat, but that might be bit obvious if in the choir?

OP posts:
Pointey · 14/11/2023 16:07

I occasionally sing with our church choir when they’re low on numbers. I’m an atheist and just go and get a blessing while others take communion. I’m pretty sure I could opt out completely if I wanted, but it seems like a lot of faff to avoid something that does me no harm.

Celticliving · 14/11/2023 16:08

Catza · 14/11/2023 14:36

I would, unless the church had specific requirements that you also attend service/be part of church community.

Being part of a church choir means singing in church services and being part of a church community.

BookWorm45 · 14/11/2023 16:15

Perhaps you might want to have a conversation with the choir director before you join..... to understand what's expected. For example in some churches the choir might -
Lead on saying prayers
Be first up to communion
Be expected to pray themselves during the service

It would depend on what the expectations are of the choir, and how comfortable you are with fitting in with those expectations.

Maybe you could also try a temporary option so that you join for 2/ 3 months and that gives everyone a chance to see if it's working out well.

HiyaWatha · 14/11/2023 16:19

I’m every church choir I’ve encountered they’ve been so delighted to have a musical person show an interest they wouldn’t be fussy about anything else!

cardibach · 14/11/2023 16:21

Catza · 14/11/2023 14:36

I would, unless the church had specific requirements that you also attend service/be part of church community.

You automatically attend services as part of a church choir. What else are they singing for?

cardibach · 14/11/2023 16:23

I sing in a non-church choir which rehearses in a church (and occasionally helps out with big services). We sing a lot of liturgical/religious pieces because they provide some of the most beautiful choral music out there. I’ve also sung in a church choir. I hover between agnostic and atheist. You’ll be fine!

Mischance · 14/11/2023 16:31

I have done this loads of times.

My FIL was a church organist and an atheist.

lanthanum · 14/11/2023 16:35

Catza · 14/11/2023 14:36

I would, unless the church had specific requirements that you also attend service/be part of church community.

Singing at services is the reason church choirs exist, so attending services would usually be expected. However nobody is going to interrogate you on your beliefs.

DappledThings · 14/11/2023 16:49

You'd be very welcome in ours too. And to go for a blessing during communion. If you didn't want to even do that you would be fine to stay in your seat although you'd probably be in the way as the choir file out on end of the stall and back in the other.

LylaLee · 14/11/2023 16:52

You would probably have to go up for communion, but it's between you and the priest/vicar whether you actually take communion or if you just kneel and stand up.