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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To join the church choir …

68 replies

Adarajames · 14/11/2023 14:31

When I’m not Christian nor do I believe in the Christian version of God?

But!

I love singing, was a chorister when younger for years, and really miss singing, but all the local choirs require a membership and / weekly fee, which I can’t really afford.

Church choir doesn’t, and even get paid if sing at weddings (very small amounts really), and I really enjoy singing hymns and liturgy and choral works, so would I be unreasonable to try it out?

OP posts:
watcherintherye · 14/11/2023 16:53

Adarajames · 14/11/2023 16:04

Thank you all, was half expecting a lot of negative responses so this is great.

what do those who are just in it for the singing do during communion? When I go to carol services etc I just stay in my seat, but that might be bit obvious if in the choir?

I’m sure it wouldn’t matter if you stayed seated, but you can go up for a blessing, as can anyone who isn’t confirmed. Clasped hands, head down. When we play during Evensong, we stay seated, not even standing when the congregation do, presumably because our music stands might fall over! I do join in the responses, which are printed, so as to not seem churlish.

Bristolnewcomer · 14/11/2023 16:53

One of the keenest church choir members I know is a Sikh. Doesn't seem to bother anyone.

Catza · 14/11/2023 16:57

cardibach · 14/11/2023 16:21

You automatically attend services as part of a church choir. What else are they singing for?

Show quote history

I meant to be expected to attend services on other occasions as part of general congregation. When I was attending a church as a child, the choir would only be there for some of the services, special celebrations etc.

cardibach · 14/11/2023 16:59

Catza · 14/11/2023 16:57

I meant to be expected to attend services on other occasions as part of general congregation. When I was attending a church as a child, the choir would only be there for some of the services, special celebrations etc.

Show quote history

A church choir would normally be ‘working’ at every Sunday service. I’ve not encountered another system where they only do special occasions. My experience isn’t extensive though, I guess 🤣

Lifeinlists · 14/11/2023 17:00

You'd probably be expected to go with the choir for a blessing during communion for the sake of optics as much as anything else. But you don't have to do or say anything and, if you don't believe then it's not really a problem.

That's a really minor point compared with the enjoyment you'll get from singing and being part of a choir.

DappledThings · 14/11/2023 17:05

When I was attending a church as a child, the choir would only be there for some of the services, special celebrations etc.
That's unusual. Were they possibly not the actual church choir but just a visiting lay choir and your church didn't have a full one? The church choir are expected at every service. Including additional mid-week ones on holy days. My parents have to give lots of notice that they won't be singing Midnight Mass this year as they are coming to us. They are covering Nine Lessons and Carols and then driving 5 hours to us leaving about 9pm. It is a commitment.

DappledThings · 14/11/2023 17:06

When I was attending a church as a child, the choir would only be there for some of the services, special celebrations etc.
That's unusual. Were they possibly not the actual church choir but just a visiting lay choir and your church didn't have a full one? The church choir are expected at every service. Including additional mid-week ones on holy days. My parents have to give lots of notice that they won't be singing Midnight Mass this year as they are coming to us. They are covering Nine Lessons and Carols and then driving 5 hours to us leaving about 9pm. It is a commitment.

Original poster
Adarajames · 14/11/2023 17:06

I know I can go for a blessing, but even that feels a little odd. I am actually christened and confirmed, was religious when I was younger as a chorister, but obviously as no long believe, don’t go for communion (plus a shared cup would really upset my germ ocd so wouldn’t take it even if did believe)
I shall send the choir master a message and see if they are recruiting 😊

OP posts:
Original poster
Adarajames · 19/11/2023 12:54

If anyone likes endings to queries, an update.
went along Thursday evening to choir practice and they were all lovely and welcoming, and not believing isn’t an issue nor is fact that health / disabilities will sometimes mean I’m inconsistent in attendance. Already gone for first ‘booking’ and joined the choir to sing carols at the church’s Christmas fair 😀

OP posts:
BrownTableMat · 19/11/2023 13:25

Sorry, but I’ve been heavily involved in Anglican churches with choirs for years, and you’re wrong. Very few churches with volunteer or semiprofessional choirs expect any more from them than one or at most two services on a Sunday, and then the really big festivals (Holy Week, Easter, Christmas). And they get a least a month off in the summer.

And while its nice if they do, nobody expects choir members to be some sort of exemplar Christian and turn up to anything where the choir isn’t singing. And it’s up to individual
choir members what they do at Communion: come up and receive, come up for a blessing, or remain quietly in their seat. And nobody quizzes them on their faith. I’ve also known Sikh members of church choirs.

BrownTableMat · 19/11/2023 13:27

Sorry, that was aimed at those saying that church choir members have to be there several times a week and are expected at different events etc. Not sure why the quoting didn’t work!

OP I’m glad you enjoyed the experience and have found a choir it seems you will get on well with.

BumBurnerBum · 19/11/2023 13:29

I did exactly the same thing for the same reasons a few years ago and was very welcome. I will warn you though that now I am also on the church PCC, trying to help recruit a vicar, on the cleaning committee and...am quite religious! They get you in the end :)

Lifeinlists · 19/11/2023 16:16

Ah well done you @Adarajames Hope you you continue to enjoy it.

In the 400th anniversary year of his death I think the thoughts of William Byrd, one of the finest composers of church (and other) music,on singing are as relevant today as they were in 1588 when he published a book of Psalms, Sonnets and Songs.

“The exercise of singing is delightful to nature, and good to preserve the health of man.”
and
“Since singing is so good a thing,
I wish all men would learn to sing.”

His top lines were often sung by women so don't be put off by the less inclusive language. It was the 16th century!

Changed18 · 19/11/2023 16:21

As a parent of former choristers, there’s plenty of non- believers in the choir. You could just go up for a blessing when it comes to communion.

But do check out the workload that’s expected - adults in DCs’ choir used to sing three services on a Sunday, plus there’s choir practice one night a week. They did get to go to the pub after practice, so there’s that…

Changed18 · 19/11/2023 16:23

Missed the update - that’s great! I’m sure you’ll love it!

Namechangedatheist · 19/11/2023 16:31

From one Atheist church choir member to another - I don't shout about my lack of any belief, so if people make an incorrect assumption about me I'm not going to rush to correct them.
Enjoy your singing - we're crying out for extra members, so unless you are presenting with horns and a forked tail I expect you'll be welcomed with open arms.
I'm also a reader and have been co-opted onto the PCC... Still definitely an Atheist 🤣.
Most church choirs now are one practice and one service a week, with a monthly choral evensong if you are lucky.

Celticliving · 19/11/2023 19:51

BrownTableMat · 19/11/2023 13:25

Sorry, but I’ve been heavily involved in Anglican churches with choirs for years, and you’re wrong. Very few churches with volunteer or semiprofessional choirs expect any more from them than one or at most two services on a Sunday, and then the really big festivals (Holy Week, Easter, Christmas). And they get a least a month off in the summer.

And while its nice if they do, nobody expects choir members to be some sort of exemplar Christian and turn up to anything where the choir isn’t singing. And it’s up to individual
choir members what they do at Communion: come up and receive, come up for a blessing, or remain quietly in their seat. And nobody quizzes them on their faith. I’ve also known Sikh members of church choirs.

Semi-professional or 'visiting choirs' are very different from 'resident' choirs.

So whilst you aren't wrong about the choirs in your own settings, it's also true that churches with their own choir (many 'normal' churches) will expect you there for rehearsals and weekly services.

BumBurnerBum · 19/11/2023 22:23

Joining a choir is one thing but I find it odd that someone would be a reader and on the pcc whilst being an atheist.

Lifeinlists · 19/11/2023 23:07

@BumBurnerBum I did a bit of a double take on the 'reader' bit but then decided she meant reading a lesson rather than a Reader. If it's the former, why would anyone mind? If she can read well and with some understanding,that would be an improvement on the majority who, whilst probably sincere, are often not very good at it. Just a little bugbear of mineBlush

Namechangedatheist · 20/11/2023 00:24

To confirm - yes I'm on the reader list, i.e. on the rota to read the lessons. I have also been asked to do go on the intercession list and I've said no.
WRT to the PCC, I'm an experienced manager and planner in my day job. If I can bring some order and decision making process to the PCC then I'm pretty sure that benefits the church.

Original poster
Adarajames · 20/11/2023 13:26

Thankfully it’s nowhere near as demanding as some of these sound, I suspect the 3 services on Sunday is cathedral / professional adult choristers, rather than local parish church.

there’s choir practice one night a week, an extra 30 mins before Sunday services, and once a month evensong. Few extra bits at moment for Christmas of course, so few Carol services / pub singing, but I love carols so am all up for that. Won’t find me reading or on the PCC though!

OP posts:
Changed18 · 20/11/2023 13:31

Ah, that’s how it starts - next thing you know you are on the committee to appoint the next vicar! (Happened to someone I knew!)

Original poster
Adarajames · 20/11/2023 22:34

I’m a volunteer controller for county Blood bikes and a search and rescue volunteer, all my volunteer hours and energy is well and truly used up! 😁

OP posts:
Changed18 · 21/11/2023 09:49

Well hopefully the choir will be more relaxing!

WinkyTinky · 21/11/2023 10:12

I hope you do join the choir, or at least get a chance to sing in another way. I went to a William Byrd workshop a few weeks ago. I got to sing in Durham Cathedral ffs!!! Amazing! And as a complete atheist, I just stood quietly while the rest of them took part in prayers (and some big weird speech thing) during the service at the end of the day. Everyone should be allowed to sing if they love it. Go for it OP!