To wonder whether it’s my fault that my children are falling behind at school?

[Mysteriousgirl2]

Just started a new job full time. It’s fairly long hours.

My DC are 8, 5 and nearly 3.

Since I’ve started the job, my children have been struggling emotionally at school. The eldest keeps getting low marks in spelling tests and they are both not doing as well in school (youngest one is in nursery but is asking for me constantly and is very clingy). I used to be able to do school pick ups and do these things with them. I can’t anymore as have to work later. It’s a struggle to get home from work and get them into bed in a reasonable time.

I can afford not to work. But having taken a long break, it’s not ideal for my career to dip in and then go back out again. What on earth do I do?

for voting:

YABU work is important so keep working

YANBU - look after children more if they are suffering

We get DC back from the childminder at 6, fed. If she hasn’t read with them (in the days when they both had to read to us…DS1 is in Y6 so that’s over for him) then one would read whilst the other had a snack then swap over. All done by 6:30. So either if your DH has fed them by 6 you could do that or he can do it earlier if you’re all eating together. I have a friend who did as you have and her DC were a wreck for about a term and are now as happy and chilled as ever. And delighted with the fab holidays they can now afford as a result.

My parents didn't get involved. As I progressed through school they probably couldn't support me where I needed it but I really don't understand why they couldn't have sat with me to ensure that I nailed my tables and spellings. My maths education and progress were really hampered by a poor grasp of the foundations.
I can't change my children's natural aptitude for maths, but I definitely supported them with things like this. As they have got older I happily sit and go through maths that they can't do. They come to me when they have questions they can't go and I help by explaining the problems to them. I just can't imagine how sad it would be for them to need help and for me to be able but just 'not to get involved'. Like I say, my parents weren't really confident helping with the more advanced stuff, but I really wish they had supported me in the younger years.

You all need to adapt.

things like times tables and spelling lists are great multitaskers. Work them while driving, walking, cooking, bathing. The physical movement while working on the task helps some children with the memorization.