Step dad pulled me aside yesterday to tell me he’s worried about me and that he doesn’t know how I am doing it all atm and that my DP isn’t stepping up to being a dad in the way he needs to. To which I broke down crying because I am reaching my limit. But I’m just unsure whether this is normal or my DP isn’t actually pulling his weight. I’m also questioning whether my parents are being over protective or not.
My DP and I have been together for nearly 3 years and we have a 13 month old. We had a lovely relationship but recently I have started feeling as though things have been off and the plates I am spinning are just stacking up and up. I cry several times a week as I feel so stressed out. I work 3 days a week at a demanding job and DP works 5.
My DP loves our son tremendously, but I often feel as though he puts himself first and the responsibility of being a parent gets him down. Some examples:
- DS recently had some health issues. For the first hosp visit, DP had been to a gig the night before and complained the whole time how tired he was. Meanwhile DS is very poorly and was kept in. I stayed the whole night with him, DP went home to sleep. Came back in the morning still complaining and fell asleep on the sofa in the ward room. I hadn’t slept a wink. :/
- Ive since gone to 80% of the hosp visits with my mum as DP doesn’t want to take the whole day/half day off work. I have to take off work though.
- I make all of DS’s packed lunches and pack the bag when he goes to my mums while we’re at work.
- I do majority of pick up and drop off bar a couple.
- I make all of DS’s dinners and do most of the feeding him.
- I buy all of DS clothes and make sure he has what he needs.
- I arranged nursery including visits and deciding which one. DP wasn’t interested.
- If I want to do something as a family like a day out, DP can often complain that he can’t really be bothered or let me go with friends.
- DP is constantly complaining that he is tired or unwell. This rattles me.
- DP is not well atm so I have done every night waking for two weeks.
- DP has just been away for the weekend and is about to go away for another weekend in a few weeks with friends. We haven’t been out for a meal together in months. I have time with my friends but having time together just feels at the bottom of the list.
- Whenever my DP goes anywhere with DS alone or even with me there, it always feels like a big ordeal or it’s been hard work and there’s a lot of huffing and puffing.
- I ask DP to help around the house, he will cook and clean the dishes and do some washing but won’t stretch to cleaning. That’s my job. He won’t even think about doing any DIY, the garden is a heap.
- Whenever I want to talk about the future or buying a bigger house he doesn’t want to talk in depth and shuts it down.
This all said he is a lovely person, which is why I’m struggling with it so much. Half of me thinks I’m being unreasonable but the other thinks it’s not enough. X