To be annoyed at partner not being bothered about pregnancy

[sweettooth09]

I am 35 weeks and 6 days pregnant and it has been quite a stressful pregnancy.

I had bleeding at 9, 14 and 17 weeks pregnant.

I was diagnosed with gestational diabetes at 33 weeks and I find out next week if I will be having a C Section due to having a low lying placenta.

I also had a blood test for cholestasis yesterday due to itching on the feet.

I just feel so stressed all the time and my partner just dosent seem to care.

We live separately at the moment as the plan was for us to buy somewhere but will wait until next year now.

Partner has a 2 year old XL Bully and that is the main reason he does not live with me.
So I see him probably 2/3 times a week as otherwise the dog will poo/ urinate all over the house.

Partner had tried to rehome the dog but nobody is interested and he dosent want to just hand him in to rescue centre either which I understand.

When I ask him how is it going to work when the baby is here he just shrugs.
I dont want an XL Bully near me or my baby even though he is a friendly dog and has never shown any kind of aggression.

Another issue is how my partner is so concerned about his 18 year old nephew.
Partner's nephew smokes marijuana, has stabbed someone in the face, has drug dealers after him and suffers from depression.

I dont think it is my partner's responsbility to father a grown man who has his own parents.
My partner's nephew will call him on a daily basis begging my partner to pick him up.
And now after the dog he seems to he taking priority.

I am on antibotics for a UTI at the moment and feel really crap and partner went away last night with his brother and stayed over night in a city 3 hours from our city and I am really annoyed with him.

Today he plans to see his nephew and take him out on his return.

I just feel that me and our unborn son are not a priority to this man.

He swears he loves me and because 2/3 times a month he will do my washing and cleaning he thinks he does everything for me.

We havent even brought any baby stuff and I maybe having a planned C section at 39 weeks, he just does not seem bothered.

I text him this morning to advise him that his name will not be going on the birth certificate and as soon as the baby is born he will have to pay me child support.

I am just so fed up with everything.
Am I being unreasonable?

It is frustrating though,every week there's a thread like this.

Can you stay with family for a bit? If you move before the birth there's no risk of being tied to this tosser and his dog. Depends on your work situation obviously.

Can you move back and in with your family for the duration of mat leave and job hunt for a new role from there? It will be a very lonely time with a young child and no close friends of family nearby.

definitely have your name on the certificate and can you ask anyone else to be there at the birth? If you even remoptely depend on him for that you will be disappointed. He sounds the type to leave you in the op theatre to take his nephew out for a drink.

I wonder if he's smoking weed with his nephew too. What a catch.

Or to go 'watch' him smoke weed.

You are doing the right thing

Your priority is your unborn baby. You are better off without these people in your life. Best of luck for the birth.

Look on FB marketplace before you buy a pram new
There are amazing bargains of immaculate items on there
Vinted for a newborn clothing bundle
Car seat to bring baby home
Second hand crib of Moses basket of crib and order a new mattress
Don't waste your energy browsing shops
Good luck with your DS.. you will be just fine

What possessed you to have a baby with this loser? If you were desperate for a child you'd be better off just going it alone with a sperm donor than giving a child this waste of space as a father.

Time to stop worrying about him and focus on you and your baby and building a good life for the two of you. Assume you will be going this alone as a single parent because you will, you and the baby are right at the bottom of his priority list under a violent druggie thug and a fucking dog.

So instead of not reading the threads, you choose to lay into a vulnerable pregnant woman?

I find it frustrating reading posts from people like you.

He needs to sort rehoming the dog and setting boundaries in place for his nephew.

Meanwhile start gathering bits and bobs for your little one. Just bite the bullet and get some vests, baby grows, nappies, change mat etc. You may feel a sense of relief knowing you're a bit more prepared.

The man clearly has it in him to be a supportive father if he's dedicating time to his nephew. Give him a chance, on your terms. Sometimes men need to have the baby infront of them to step up.

Hoping the best for you, whatever you decide.

Can you go and live with your parents? You're going to need support and won't get it from him. You need to accept life as a single parent. Get the stuff you need for the baby now. Don't wait for him.

Get yourself organised now hopefully you have some other family and friends to support you .hope he does give you some child support .Hope your OK post section

It sounds like you aren't a priority in his life, so I would prepare for the baby as if you will be doing this alone.

I wouldn't start throwing threats around like "you won't be on the birth certificate" etc. Not to be rude but it sounds quite childish and as though you're just trying to get a reaction out of him. He is the Dad, and he should be on the Birth certificate.

Could it be that he's just petrified about becoming a Dad? Perhaps he will prove himself once the baby is here.

Poor child. 🙁

If you are low income there are often local groups that can help you with baby items

OP, I haven't read all the replies but your boyfriend sounds scummy from a scummy family. Please ditch him and bring the child up on your own.

Have u had a chat with him and told him what u need from him?

Sounds like it's time to focus on you and your baby. Do you have a friend or family member you can go shopping with to go get some things you need, or help look through marketplace for some bits? Might make you feel a bit calmer to have a few bits sorted ready for baby arriving, and might even be fun!

You don't need extra stress right now, worry about him when you have the headspace to but in the meantime it should all be about you and bump. Best wishes for safe arrival of your little one.

OP

Move now to your family, if you do it before the baby is here you'll have no issues, if you do it after he could be able to stop you doing it via the courts.
Or get you to do all the travel for contact.

Don't give the baby his surname, not even double barreled - you're the one doing all the work.