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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Primary school dilemma - Please help

79 replies

Carbonaranight · 11/11/2023 23:20

Which primary school to choose out of the two below for our reception child that starts in September? Please help!

AIBU - Local primary , 8min walk from home, good reputation over the years, ofsted rating good (last inspected last year) and many current friends from the nursery will go to this local school meaning that our kid will have some friends to begin with

AINBU - CofE primary, 15min drive, needs supplementary form from a Christian church to get in but our priest signed this form for us, good reputation over the years, ofsted rating outstanding (last inspected last year) and our kid won’t possible know any classmates.

We are Christians from a different denomination, believers and don’t mind the churchy part of the second school. We also love that it’s outstanding but the commute and the fact that our kid won’t have friends in the beginning worries us.

Please please please help us chose! Whichever we put first, we will get an offer 🙏🏻

AIBU - Go for your local good school
AINU - Go for the churchy outstanding with longer commute

OP posts:
KnickerlessParsons · 12/11/2023 06:53

Option A.

Ofsted ratings don't always last. It only takes a change of head teacher or for one or two to take their eye off the ball for a school's ratings to change overnight. There is more to a school than its Ofsted rating.

CocoaKate · 12/11/2023 07:08

On the information you shared, I’d choose the local school. Sense of belonging to a community is really important and a school rated good is a good school. The school run will be much easier, which makes a big life difference over 7 years, and you’ll have lots of neighbour school parents who can help with pick up and drop off in emergencies. You could read the two often reports to see where the first school dropped the rating - often they are on things that wouldn’t be that relevant to an individual child’s experience (E.g like how records are organised).

If you’re practicing Christian’s yourselves and going to church, your children still hsve this opportunity to develop their faith.

Appleblum · 12/11/2023 07:20

I'd choose the better school. 15 mins drive isn't an issue at all and he's only 5, he'll have to spend the rest of his life meeting new people and making new friends along the way!

IbizaToTheNorfolkBroads · 12/11/2023 07:45

Local school, hands down, for all the very good reasons already given. There is probably more faith, largely Christian, taught than you realise (but also wider world religions) , and presumably you will continue to practice your own religion as a family.

Marmalady75 · 12/11/2023 08:07

Go with your heart. Listen to local chat, go for a visit. Only you can decide what is important to your family.
We have a school run of 15-20 minutes. My ds loves the school and is beyond expected level across the curriculum.
The only thing going for the local school is that we would do a 15 minute walk instead of drive. It’s reputation is appalling and the staff turnover is awful (which leads me to suspect it’s a horrible ethos).

bluebird3 · 12/11/2023 08:16

Good local school for sure

YoBeaches · 12/11/2023 08:30

Local school definitely. The ofsted ratings are one set of information but only one set and good schools are just that.

Our school was rated good, the other rated outstanding and I couldn't understand why when I visited as it seemed the other way round.

As it happened outstanding school has just been downgraded.

But for me it's about fit for my child and easing the transition, ability for local play dates and activities and being part of the community of the school locally.

Dd started this year and it's been a breeze. Making knew friends, new routines, joining the PTA ( I might regret that!) and being involved. It's great.

cansu · 12/11/2023 08:33

Local school. Outstanding doesn't mean much. It could change anyway. Why commit to a drive for the next seven years? Playmates and parties easier at local school.

Yourebeingtooloud · 12/11/2023 08:37

Definitely the local school for nearby friends, ability for child to grow independence by walking themselves in upper primary etc.

Blueuggboots · 12/11/2023 08:38

AIBU

FloweryName · 12/11/2023 08:40

Local primary.

An outstanding rating isn’t everything and there’s no guarantee that it would still be outstanding 6 years from now anyway.

Welshwabbit · 12/11/2023 08:44

Have you looked round the schools to see which one you prefer? My inclination would be to go to the closer one, but if you don't like the vibe or feel very strongly about the more distant one that's important. Don't go on Ofsted.

gotomomo · 12/11/2023 08:46

The fact you aren't c of e means that getting in isn't a given if it's popular, the admissions criteria with include other Christian faiths but usually further down but above the general public, varies but that's the admission here. I'd go with the local one if that's your nearest school because you are likely to get a place (if that's not your closest school then it changes this advice somewhat)

PatChaunceysFruitCake · 12/11/2023 08:50

My eldest is in year 7 now. We applied for a school ten minutes drive away and didn't get it. We got our second choice which is the village school a few minutes away.

Thank goodness we did. It was a fantastic school. The relevant point for you though is as it was so local my DC have friends in the next street. They've been able to develop independence by walking to school / the park / the shop with their mates.

That probably seems a long way for you now but it was hard for the kids who weren't local. It definitely adds to the experience if they can start to walk alone in year six.

Onelifeonly · 12/11/2023 08:52

Local good school. Can't see the dilemma myself.

OneCup · 12/11/2023 08:54

On paper, I'd go for the local one but I'd keep an open mind and ask around.
By all means, go to the open days but bear in mind some schools really give you a sales pitch that has no bearing with the truth.

I agree that Ofsted reports are worth what they are worth. However I wouldn't simply assume that because a school is good that they are nurturing, stretch all kids etc. There is a whole range.
We started at an outstanding school which I had doubts about a few months in. It got ( rightly) downgraded to good. It's just really average in so many ways.

RedCoffeeCup · 12/11/2023 08:55

OP, in your list of pros for school A, it's not just that he will know a few friends to begin with, it's that he will have local friends and be able to walk to their houses when he's old enough. This is a huge plus!

Onelifeonly · 12/11/2023 08:57

The vast majority of schools are 'good'. Nothing wrong with that but have you actually visited both schools? Reading or hearing about them doesn't tell you everything.

lollydu · 12/11/2023 08:57

Different people are going to recommend you different things based on their own priorities. I guess it depends on how much you value the Christian aspect of the school? I wouldn't choose based on the ofsted rating because in my experience once they've been rated outstanding they get ignored for 5 years plus and standards start slipping. My best friends kid went to an ofsted rated primary and it was certainly not all the rating promised. I would choose the nearest school that makes logistical sense and the school your child has friends in already. But if you choose the other one don't worry as they will make friends quickly! X

CurlewKate · 12/11/2023 08:58

Local school of course.

Pooooochi · 12/11/2023 09:02

Be aware that it being a church school doesn't mean that there'll be tons of observant families. The UK simply isn't a very religious country any more, not to mention the academic curriculum is very full, so there's little time for a lot of religious activity at school. So if that's you primary reason for choosing it, be prepared for it to be less of a thing than you expect.

Ofsted ratings can be important but remember it depends what your kid needs. A school can be outstanding because its doing an amazing job hitting average with an intake high in learning difficulties, language problems or deprivation, it doesn't mean that translates to the best results for a kid who sits outside their norms. Similarly my niece & nephew go to an outstanding rated school, its very naice & academic but doesn't have a single child with an EHCP and sen provision is weak, it wouldn't be a good choice for everyone.

Screamingabdabz · 12/11/2023 09:06

I second going and having a look round - nothing beats that gut instinct when you’re actually in the place.

HouseChainDrama · 12/11/2023 09:07

Church schools don't balance curriculums well e.g you get less maths science etc for the sake of more RE, plus lost learning time due to church trips etc.

AxolotlEars · 12/11/2023 09:11

Local.

As for secondary, a lot of schools don't take any notice of the school your child has been at to assess whether your child gets a place. The criteria can always change. Our secondary is catchment, looked after child and previously looked after child at the top. In our area a sibling at the school doesn't even make it onto some school's criteria

Mavissdaviss · 12/11/2023 09:11

Depends on the ‘good’ school. Our local school is ‘good’ but knowing the school and reading the ofsted reports it is at the lower end of ‘good’ and I wasn’t happy to send DD there so I took a risk and applied for another out of catchment school that is ‘good’ but is clearly at the top end of good, verging on outstanding. There is a world of difference between the two schools. If your local school is at the top end of ‘good’ and other parents you know are happy with it then I would go with that.