Mum's neighbour

[namechange1032]

I have a bit of a problem at Christmas. I'm going to my mum's who I recently found out has dementia.

Her next door neighbour has been very helpful, driving her to appointments and such. I'm very grateful to her.

The problem is, she reads the Daily Heil and has terribly racist views including anti English views. She often invites herself in and will probably come over while I'm there.

While I'm a big proponent of free speech and am grateful to her for the help she's given my mum, I find it hard to talk to her as she winds me up. How do I keep the peace over Christmas?

@LizzBurg

She's her Mothers Friend, not hers. It's not her place to interfere in their friendship.

Maybe if more people pointed out her imperfections she would stop spouting racist nonsense

or she would just end her friendship with the OP's mother leaving her even more lonely and struggling to get to appointments etc

sometimes in life you have to pick your battles and keep your mouth shut (as unpleasant as that is) & when the impact of you confronting someone impacts others not yourself is one of those times.

Getting her mother taxis is one thing, but that doesn't replace the friendship, company security, knowing that someone is nearby.

its not the OP's place to call her mums friend out.

@Pinkpinkpink15 i didn’t see it as interfering in her friendship, reading your comment I realise that you’re quite right and this is one of those situations where selective deafness is the solution.

Is she Irish?

My parents read the daily mail and aren't racist...

But they support and facilitate racism by funding it?

No, Scottish.

Reading through the various answers here, I've decided to ignore her comments and use diversionary tactics like change the topic. She's very stuck in her views, so I can't see me challenging her changing her mind. I think I'm going to have to suck it up. There's no one else available to do the lifts, I live too far and the family nearby all work full time.

She can't get a taxi by herself as she needs help at the other end. There isn't anyone else who can help and I don't know how I would go about replacing her without causing a lot of trouble. My mum is very grateful to her for her help and doesn't take any notice of her views. She has a hearing problem and can't hear half of what she says.

Thanks all, it's been helpful.