I have been with my wife for 14 years, and we have DC (6) separated but live together.
Before we had DC, we both worked. I have paid all the bills, including her food, and she has done whatever she pleased with her money. She never had money left at the end of the month or savings. I always hoped that she would be more responsible with money as she gets older. We are both 38. I have a decent income, but nothing to shout about.
Once DC was born, she received maternity pay for 9 months, I did not care or question what she did with the money.
After the maternity pay ended, I obviously continued paying for everything, including her clothes etc. She received the child benefits of around 90£/month, and I've said that she can use that money for tea/coffee when they go out in town. This 90£/month was insufficient for her, and she always asked for more, and I gave her. I only spend about 60£ on coffee at work a month.
I forgot to ask for the credit card back once, and in one week, she spent 450£+. When I asked her what she had spent the money on, she could not tell me. When I checked the transactions, it was all on clothes from shops like Primark. When I asked her to show me the clothes she had bought, she did not have them. She habitually buys cheap clothes, uses them for a very limited time, and throws them away or gives them to charity.
Fast forward, she found a part-time job a couple of months ago ( potentially to be extended to full-time). We agreed that from the money she gets from this job, she buys food(400£) for herself, and DC, keeps 150£+90£ child benefit for spending when they go out, and the remaining money goes into a joint savings account where she can use that money to get her place in future. She got paid on the 20th of Oct 760£.
She lied about what she got paid once she said 450£, 550£, and 650£. Anyhow, on the 5th of Nov, she came to me and asked me to lend her money because she had got nothing. I got a bit pissed and said, I want to see how much you got paid, she refused to show me, but in the end, after some arguments, she laughingly showed me on her phone that she got paid 760£.
So, in two weeks, she has spent around 800£, including the child benefit, and when asked, she will not tell me for what. Hasten to add, in those two weeks, she only spent about 65£ each week on weekly Tesco home delivery.
P.S
On my days off, every week, I usually either cook or buy takeaways from my money, and therefore, she spends very little money, if any, on food when I am off from work.
Is this behaviour normal?