Advice - Dog or no dog?

[CocoC]

Looking for some advice here.
We are considering getting a dog - husband is keen, as are DC (age 12,10,8) but I am very nervous about the logistics.
We live in London, and both work from the office 3 days a week and often go abroad to see family for holidays (so dog couldn’t come) - and of course weekends are filled with kids activities (football, swimming etc).

Husband and I both love dogs. The dog would absolutely get walked morning and evening, and would get a dog walker for the days we are in the office, so my concern is not about the dog welfare - but about mine.
I was desperate to have a dog when I was a child, but I am not sure I want one now as I worry it will massively restrict our freedom and I will end up really resenting that - and that it will be yet another thing to feel guilty about. Another ball and chain (not to mention money drain with dog walkers etc) just when the children are finally getting more independent.

Has anyone else been in this position, and have any advice? Or has anyone got a dog and regretted it?

many thanks!

I'd say your life sounds too busy for a dog. Walking twice a day then leaving them to it isn't really enough in my opinion. I spend a lot of time with my dog, plan activities I can bring him to, plan holidays I can bring him on (although he does go in kennels once a year while we go abroad) he is walked 2-3 times a day but we also do training, play in the garden and do other things together throughout the day. I don't resent the money I spend on our dog walker as I work full time and I knew I'd need this for my boy when I got him. I think if you're already worried about the time and financial commitment then it's probably better to wait. I don't view my dog at all as a ball and chain but that's because he slots into my life because my life involves enjoying all of the hands on dog related stuff

No dog.

I’d give it a swerve in your position.

You don’t really sound like you want a dog, so don’t get one.

100% no dog. All your concerns are correct. They are a huge bind, it adds an extra level or guilt and responsibility.

I regret our dog most days. We have the added problem of him being reactive. We all love him but I do look forward to the freedom when he's eventually gone.

Dogs can mean putting yourself, your desires, wishes, holidays, second.

You don't really want to do this so best to not have one.

My 8 year old would love a dog more than anything but we don't work from home and our jobs would never be suitable for it. I also feel we are getting our life back . There are no early mornings, rushing home for naps etc and our house is finally not looking like a complete shit tip and we have finished paying for childcare.Basically we have entered a sweet stage after the early years.
So for that reasonI we have decided that a dog is not in the foreseeable future. I couldn't cope with a dog getting up in the morning having to be back to walk or feed them and pay for kennels or walkers or clean muddy footprints from the floor.

No dog. It's like introducing a toddler to your life - so much time and energy needed, so little personal freedom.

When it comes to getting a dog, if it’s not a hard “yes” then it has to be a “no”.

Don’t get one.

It's a massive commitment with lots of similarities to having a small child. I don't think you should do if you're not sure.

Massive tie, massive commitment- only get a dog if you're both really excited for it.

Doesn't sound like you are.

I love dogs but how tying they are is the exact reason I don't want one.

Maybe something like dog borrowing sites would suit you better?

If you have to ask the question then the answer is no. Sorry.

It's because of families / set ups like this, why we have so many dogs everywhere who are quite frankly, a bit shit and a total nuisance.

Well done for thinking it through properly and considering what is right for you, the animal and society! You don't sound like you have enough time or the the right set up for a dog. They need much more that you can / want to give.

I wouldn't in your situation. We have 2 young kids and 2 dogs (who were here before the kids) and we won't be getting any more dogs when they're gone.

It really restricts us, we can't even have a family day out without faffing around trying to find someone to look after the dogs. It's costing us £90 for doggy daycare just so that we can take the kids to see santa. And holidays are the worst - add on a few hundred £ on top of every holiday for boarding. Plus the guilt of leaving doggy behind. That's coming from a dog lover and ex dog walker.

Our life sounds quieter than yours. Only 2 kids, only the odd day when we are both in the office and I work part time and it's alot. They are an extra layer of need. You have to plan weekend days out and holidays and breaks around the dog. We are campers so that works for us.

However we are so lucky that our boy will happily spend up to 5 hours at home in his crate although this rarely happens but frequently left for 1 or 2 hours. We did this from day 1 as had too due to a family emergency. Definitely get a crate.

Even with all the stress and planning I have to say he's amazing (and I'm not a dog person) and have no regrets. We are currently in full on teen period and it's very full on again but can't lie, I adore him.

Pic of the teen in a moment of calm

Another consideration - you will spend a good chunk of your spare time hoovering up dog hair and shampooing carpets

Definitely don't get a dog.

When you think about getting a dog, unfortunately you don’t take it in that this will be your life for 10/15 years, people stop inviting you to their houses because you have to bring your dog, you cannot go to friends houses that have cats and then there’s problems with holidays. We always presumed that we could leave our dog with our adult sons, but in reality it wouldn’t work and we don’t think we could go away without our dog.

I have a dog. She’s a rescue. She’s an absolute star and happy to snooze the day away. There is always someone at home and we holiday in cottages where we can take her with us.
But everything we do has to take her into consideration. We can’t just disappear out for the day. We can’t just book a holiday or short trip abroad. We can’t leave her in the cottage alone when we are away so pubs and meals out have to be dog friendly. She hates being in the car, it completely stresses her out so that limits where we can take her to walk her. I also find that I get very stressed worrying about doing the right thing for her. That is totally my issue but it stills adds to my general levels of stress.

I would say no don’t get a dog. We got our dog when our children were little and I wasn’t working. She’s 8 now and she’s happy with one walk a day and then just lying around the house and is no bother. She comes with us at the weekends to our childrens sporting activities and fits in well with our life but I put loads of time into her training when she was a puppy. I can’t imagine having a new dog now with our busy lives. We also have family that are happy to have her when we’re on holiday.

Having a dog will certainly restrict your freedom and spontaneity to some degree. If you’re not prepared for that (and it sounds like you’re not) don’t get a dog. I think you are approaching the issue very sensibly. Unfortunately, far too many people follow their hearts rather than their heads in such situations. And then they end up with dogs that they don’t really have time or energy to train properly. Or the dog ends up stuck in a crate for hours at a time.

I absolutely adore my dog. But it’s true that factoring in a dog’s needs can make a busy family life more challenging. For me it’s worth the complications. But if you’re not 100% on board, it’s probably wise not to add a dog to your household now.

Don't get a dog. Join borrowmydoggy and borrow someone else's.
DS 17 is going to uni next year ( fingers crossed) but no spontaneous trips abroad for us because of the dog DH insisted on getting 5 years ago ( and now regrets). Rookiedog is lovely and well looked after, but yes absolutely has to be considered in all plans including work promotions and travel.

We live in London, and both work from the office 3 days a week

What will happen to the dog while you work? Many dogs couldn't be left for a full working day with just a walker coming in at lunchtime, and a puppy certainly couldn't cope with it. You could pay for daycare but it's expensive and certainly doesn't suit every dog.

often go abroad to see family for holidays (so dog couldn’t come)

Are you willing to add hundreds of pounds to your holiday costs to pay for kennels, or a sitter, or a home boarder?

and of course weekends are filled with kids activities (football, swimming etc).

So what happens to the dog when you have to get up early for activities or your kids are wanting to send the day somewhere that isn't dog friendly?

Husband and I both love dogs. The dog would absolutely get walked morning and evening, and would get a dog walker for the days we are in the office, so my concern is not about the dog welfare - but about mine.

You should be concerned about welfare, being brutally honest. Dogs need so much more than three walks a day, they need your time and company too.

Definitely don't. You will end up doing most of the work, and you will resent it. I speak from experience.