Advice - Dog or no dog?

[CocoC]

Looking for some advice here.
We are considering getting a dog - husband is keen, as are DC (age 12,10,8) but I am very nervous about the logistics.
We live in London, and both work from the office 3 days a week and often go abroad to see family for holidays (so dog couldn’t come) - and of course weekends are filled with kids activities (football, swimming etc).

Husband and I both love dogs. The dog would absolutely get walked morning and evening, and would get a dog walker for the days we are in the office, so my concern is not about the dog welfare - but about mine.
I was desperate to have a dog when I was a child, but I am not sure I want one now as I worry it will massively restrict our freedom and I will end up really resenting that - and that it will be yet another thing to feel guilty about. Another ball and chain (not to mention money drain with dog walkers etc) just when the children are finally getting more independent.

Has anyone else been in this position, and have any advice? Or has anyone got a dog and regretted it?

many thanks!

Gently, no dog.

I grew up with dogs (and cats and horses - we had a lot of animals!) and dogs are brilliant, but they are incredibly consuming and your life just sounds too busy at the moment.

There will inevitably be people coming along who'll say 'oh, my dogs come everywhere and they're fine', but they're NOT bloody fine: dogs are pack animals and happiest in 'their' space with 'their' people, not being endlessly dragged around shops and pubs and walked by a myriad of strangers.

That's not to say 'no dog EVER', things will probably settle down in a few years and you'll have more bandwidth for a pooch.

The main reason we don't heave a dog (or indeed any pet) is because our lifestyle wouldn't be fair on them.

Animals deserve proper care, time and attention.

Another financial consideration is health insurance and vets trips (also, this is a time consideration as you may need to take a day off work to go). Our dog was only about one year old, went into the garden, sniffed up a grass seed and £500 later it was removed by the vet under GA! Another £2000 due to recurring UTIs. Both v common problems in dogs. She’s also allergic to poultry and only tolerates a raw frozen diet, so that’s £3 a day in food, plus the purchase of a new freezer. £75 a month on insurance. She can’t be left alone for more than 3-4 hours, so we can only go to dog friendly restaurants/hotels/ friends/family.

Yes Dog, adult not puppy though. You don't sound any busier than anyone else I know who successfully has a happy dog in their lives.

Everyone wants a dog until reality hits and dog needs walking or feeding or walking again. In the rain.
You know YOU will be responsible as whole family magically too busy and you won't let the dog down as the guilt will be unbearable.
Soooo if you realistically have 2 hours free a day then yes.
Otherwise N.O.
A dog is for life not 5 minutes petting.
We have dogs and adore them
but I WFH and dogs are type who like 20 minute pootles not 90 minutes full on run about.
It is hard work. But reward is unlimited.
Sounds not for you imo.

We bought a ‘lockdown pet’ for our then only child- a Guinea pig. Don’t get me wrong she’s lovely but it’s an extra consideration going away, vets, this year I have spent a considerable time in hospital and it’s been an extra stress. I do regret it. And she’s a rodent….. a dog is 100x worse!

No dog. IMO the only people who should have dogs are essentially farmers.

Don't do it.
100% regret mine and I love walking and running with him but they're such a tie - holidays and going out are more difficult.
Never rely on kids and husband either to walk!

@CocoC

you will be the one most impacted by getting a dog.

you dont 'really really really' want a dog right now. It's generally a 15 year commitment YOU don't want to make. Don't let them cajole or guilt you into it.

ita total change of lifestyle & a massive commitment

another poster is correct too, they need YOU a lot too, not just adequate walks & supervision.

We have a dog, love her to bits, will be terribly sad when she is no longer with us. But I am not sure I would have another one.

As everyone has said, any plans have to revolve around the dog. Holidays can't be booked until we sort out her arrangements. I don't want to take her with us as then our holiday revolves around the dog and we can't go out for the day.

Insurance is expensive, as is her hypoallergenic food. All in, she probably cost us around £140 a month. That's getting on for £15k over her life time. Don't begrudge it, but it's a consideration.

Yes. We have a dog and if I could go back in time, I wouldn't have one.

Don't get me wrong. I absolutely love her and wouldn't be without her now, but it does massively restrict your ability to be spontaneous.

Your life kind of revolves around making sure their needs are met.

Making sure they aren't on their own for more than 4hrs max, wanting to go places where you can't take the dog and people are reluctant to dog sit, even though when you say you're getting a dog, they're all 'oh we will have her if you need her looking after', absolute bollocks lol.

As I say, wouldn't be without her now, but we won't be getting another when her time is up.

If you get the right dog they could certainly cope with this. We have 2 greyhounds and they'd be fine with the schedule, as they only need 2 30 minute walks a day and sleep a lot (built for speed not endurance). I think getting a rescue also makes you feel less bad about working when having a dog because they're better off than in kennels, and you can find an adult you know suits your lifestyle (ie doesn't have separation anxiety so is happy to be left alone when you go to kids activities). However it will definitely restrict your freedom and money, and add more responsibilities to your routine. I'd look into cost of dog walkers in your area, and dog food etc, and they will need to go to a home boarder or kennels when you're abroad (ours enjoy this as they go to a greyhound only place but this adds extra money to any holiday obviously) and we need to make sure there is free space before we book anything. I think it's then an individual decision on whether it's worth it to you.

The main thing to consider is what if you end up with a dog who is anxious, or reactive, or can't be left for as long as you'd like because they have separation anxiety?

Basically, you need to plan for the worst case scenario. We have a beagle with separation anxiety - he's five and it's only recently that we've been able to leave him alone for an hour without him freaking out completely. Luckily we have family who have him while we work, but if we didn't, we'd be utterly fucked.

You have doubts, that is enough reason to say no dog.

I think no dog. We have 3, they are working dogs and are actually a far more demanding part of life than our 12 year old children what with endless walking, training, feeding, hoovering and days out working them.
We adore them but I don't think they would be right for you.

We got a puppy when my kids were similar ages to yours and had a very similar lifestyle, including family abroad.

We loved every minute with him and have zero regrets.

However! I really really wanted him and did the lions share of the dog work. You don’t sound like you’re fully on board, so for that reason, I’m voting no dog.

I have 2 married friends in our friendship group who both debated getting their own family dogs, both with similar concerns. They both started off with the borrow my dog app, then both decided to try fostering. One family loved the experience so much they decided fostering dogs was the way to go, they still had the ability to go on holiday and enjoyed the range of dogs they fostered, the other fell in love with the foster dog and adopted it...