Boyfriend went out to a place we both love with friends without inviting me

[Goldbracelet24]

Hi all. I don't know if I'm being silly here.

Me and my boyfriend discovered this great venue. On certain nights it has live entertainment that we love to see. Only me and my boyfriend had been here and I considered it 'our' place. We've only been twice.

This morning I woke up to a message from my boyfriend telling me he'd been here again last night with friends. He said he saw all the live entertainment. I would have been happy for him if it were any other venue but I cannot help but feel hurt that he went without inviting me knowing how much I love the place and entertainment.

This may just be my initial reaction and I may be overreacting. Am I being unreasonable?

Why were you not out with him last night?

You're being ridiculous, and you know it. He's sharing a good thing with his pals, that's all.

He can go where he likes on a night out with his mates. Do you generally not like him going out without you?

If you've only been there twice I assume the relationship is not that longstanding? I think a healthy relationship has space for nights out with your own set of friends.

You need to take a breath and let this go. He's allowed out without you and he's allowed to spend that time at places you've both been together.

Of course YABU.

You cannot possibly expect your boyfriend to avoid going to a certain venue with his friends just because you consider it special. You’re being ridiculous. You’ve only been there twice FFS!

You'd been there twice with him and considered it "our place"?

How long have you been in this relationship and is he your first boyfriend? He does have a life outside you and him...

Going there twice with you doesn’t mean he can’t go there with his friends.

Don’t suffocate him!

Thanks for the replies all. I knew I was being silly to be honest. It was just my gut reaction, I came here for you all to put some sense into me

Was it a spur of the moment thing?
As in he was out with mates and fancied going there for a bit?
As I can see how that happens if so
Annoying for you though!

Why were you not out with him last night?
Presumably they're not joined at the hip?
I read it as he was out with mates, you're allowed separate nights out once in a while.

Are you 15 years old ffs or a grown woman? Give your head a wobble, this relationship is doomed if you're going to be so controlling.

It sounds like a spontaneous night out and he enjoyed it. I'd be happy for him. You hadn't planned to spend the evening with him so I don't see he's done anything wrong.

It's not "your" place. It's somewhere you've visited on several occasions. You're being a bit needy and unreasonable.

What a strange question. People are allowed to fo out with friends, without their partners - even at weekends

OP you're being ridiculous. It's somewhere you've been twice. It's a venue not a romantic spot somewhere special. He's gone somewhere he enjoys with friends. Perfectly reasonable

You’re not being silly, you’re being ridiculous!

Honestly if the bf read this post he really should be heading for the hills, this relationship is not worth the drama.

Absolute insanity, bordering controlling, I'd run for the hills if someone was hurt that I'd dared to go in a venue, any venue, for any reason. Its not your place, it's anyones place who wants to visit there.

Gatekeeping a venue is unreasonable. It's normal to feel a bit like you missed out, but you can't expect your bf to not do things he enjoys. Just ask him to go there with you soon or go with your own friends. Would you expect him to not eat at his favourite restaurant just because you aren't with him? It's also unreasonable to expect to be invited along to things that didn't already involve you/partners of friends.

So you'd rather he didn't go at all?

OP you're being very, very silly. I remember getting annoyed about stuff like this when I was about 14/15. Then I grew up.

Why weren’t you out with him?

Yes you’re allowed separate nights out but just asking in case he made an excuse not to invite you or something.

Yabu but I do kind of get it. I think it has more to do with you not being on the night out though, than the venue in particular. You've only been there twice and it's a public entertainment venue. You can't claim it.

These feelings of jealousy can be very consuming. Try and work out what it is that's making you uncomfortable and deal with it. Do NOT voice any of this out loud.

Are you quite young?

I struggled quite badly with relationship insecurity when I was younger, but I will say it usually coincided with me being in a relationship with someone who gave me reason to feel insecure...

^^ exactly this!

Do you have a special song or special food that can’t be enjoyed without the other being present? I’m guessing you are very young (18ish) and you’ll grow out of this territorial nonsense. I could understand more if it had been a long time thing but two visits??

Why would you even think that?