Puppy problems

[Dilemmadilemma23]

Reaching out to see if anyone been in similar situation and can offer advice.

Earlier this year we tragically lost our dog at 18 months old. I was devastated. We were struggling without having a dog in our lives and knew we had so much to give so got a puppy 6 months later. We went for different breed.

It’s been a nightmare. She’s not settling down and is destroying the house and will not stop biting us. We have a one to one trainer but nothing helping.

I’ve also recently been diagnosed will an illness that makes life challenging. I haven’t bonded with this dog as I thought I would. I do everything for her but I miss my previous girl. I can’t stop crying and find each day hard. My partner thinks we should re home her whilst she is still young but I feel so guilty and like I have failed her. I also want it to work. I’m not sure what the answer is.

How old is the puppy and what breed? It is really hard, harder than I ever could have prepared myself for!

What breed and what kind of exercise and stimulation is she getting?

A working breed will need a "job" when young or they will find their own job eg destroying your house. I've also found that some high-energy dogs need teaching to be calm inside the house.

She’s a border terrier. 5 months old.

I wouldn’t allow her to destroy the house. She should be crated when you aren’t available to supervise. And then lots of exercise to tire her out when you do have time.

If you truly don’t think you can keep her, then contact your breeder and they should be happy to take her back and rehome her.

Ah this is tough...

Our dog was a savage and hard work puppy. We had to wear wellies in the house until she was about 8 months old as she would bite out feet and ankles. She destroyed everything - even ripping curtains, a door and refused to be house-trained.

She hit two years old and became a chill out merchant. She is now 12 years old. Our cat is currently asleep on her. But she is still not an easy or obedient dog. Tbh she is the worst dog we have ever owned but hands down my absolute favourite as her personality is hilarious and she is very cunning. I will be devastated when she passes.

She is not a dog for everyone and dog walkers etc either absolutely adore her or really dislike her. This puppy may not be for you and somebody else will adore them.

What breed or mix is your dog?

I don't know your current routine/working schedule but to me, the ideal routine for a young terrier type would look like this;

Morning: 15-minute walk slowly extending to 30-45 minutes as they reach adulthood. 15 minutes of mental stimulation after this. This doesn't need to be active training. Morning is an ideal time to use their breakfast for this. I have a garden so I will scatter a few handfuls of kibble for the dogs to sniff out. You can also use puzzle feeders, snuffle mats, or Kongs.

Mid-day/afternoon; 15 minutes training/playtime. When they are young I like to use this time to teach basic obedience with clicker training. You can also add in scent games https://moderndogmagazine.com/articles/8-fun-scent-games-your-dog-will-love/80052. Terriers, in general, love to dig. Get a kid's sandpit or raised planter and fill it with soil (you can normally pick up sacks of waste soil from the Facebook marketplace) and bury treats/toys for them to dig out.

Depending on the individual dog and what type of training they've done I might follow this up with 10 minutes of more active play eg. a game of tug or rolling a ball along the floor for them to chase.

Evening; 15-minute off-lead walk (or recall training with a longline) building to 45-60 minutes into adulthood. You can add mental stimulation to this. Drop treats on the ground for them to sniff out. Play catch or retrieve games. If you have access to the beach bury a favorite toy in the sand and encourage them to dig it up. Stop and do some clicker training halfway through etc. I feed an evening meal after this and if for any reason I need them to be extra settled on an evening I will give a raw meaty bone after the evening meal.

Between this redirect the dog back to bed if it starts getting over-excited in the house. Give occasional treats and praise when they are settled and doing what you want them to do.

For the biting different dogs respond best to different things. I find the most success with redirecting the biting to a toy/chew. You can also try removing attention until the dog is calm. The most important thing is consistency. Everyone in the house needs to be on the same page. Redirect or remove attention every single time they bite, the second they bite.

Teach a good settle command (I teach this ad-hoc rather than in training time when you want them to be more active). .

Crate train for times when the dog cannot be supervised. s.

I'd also look to teach a skill/job and join a club if you have any available locally eg flyball or agility.

Destruction in the house is always due to frustration caused by lack of exercise/mental stimulation.

@Frequency apologies for the thread hijack, when you say the dog needs a job can you give an example? I have a shepherd and people say that about her.

Are you on Facebook? There's an amazing support group on there called Dog Training Advice and Support. They have brilliant guides and free online support from vets/trainers (as long as you have read the guides)

@Jessforless it usually just means stimulating their mind. Working dogs are very intelligent and physically fit. Offering only physical exercise will never tire them. Terriers especially, could walk for 18 hours a day and still have energy to spare.

Clicker training/scent work is the "job" I give my working breed because we don't have any local clubs and I don't drive so cannot easily get to other things. For a shepherd-type dog agility, treibball or flyball, if you have any clubs near you would work. Or, if you are lucky enough to have one near you look into joining a class/course for sheepdog training. Play into the strengths your breed has eg digging for a border terrier or treibball (which is basically 'herding' a ball) for herding types.

Thank you for the tips.

This may or may not be helpful, but...how would you feel about adopting an older rescue dog?

I've found that the easiest way to train pups and young adolescents is to have an adult dog do the heavy lifting...it's really quite amazing how quickly dogs can teach other dogs how to behave.

As well as that, as long as you don't go for a senior dog, they can often redirect a lot of that excess energy when they play together (and, obviously, they'll keep each other company while you're out, so rarely any need to crate them).

If your heart isn't in it, then I think you need to do the right thing by your dog and take her to a reputable rescue. A young, healthy border terrier should be very easy to re-home.

Practical advice is all well and good, but if you haven't "clicked" with her and are still grieving your other puppy then no amount of exercise and training will change that.

Thank you but I would be so worried about them not getting on! And if it might be more work 😞

This is what I am worried about but maybe in time it will get easier.

That's often the worry, but it's easy enough to take your dog to a local rescue and let them sound each other out. You can even tell the rescue about your problem, and they'll usually be able to match you with a dog with good maternal instincts.

As an example, our Akita turned out - quite randomly - to be an unbelievably good mama-dog, even though she's been with us since she was 6 months old and has never had a litter. She's incredibly confident (obviously, goes with the breed), but also brilliant at teaching broken pups how to "dog". She's done it with our Chihuahua (taken on at ~4 months old, and brain damaged so she's an eternal puppy), and with our Romanian rescue (who was so completely shut down and terrified that even the rescue didn't think he'd ever come out of his shell). Both are doing amazingly well, far better than we could ever have managed without her help.

Obviously, though, you know what's right for your house, so...please take this in the spirit in which it's intended rather than nagging you to get a rescue :)

In any case...your pup isn't even an adolescent yet. I can absolutely guarantee that things will change over the next few months as she grows and learns to focus. Remember, these dogs live to 14-15+, so what you're experiencing now is just a blip on that scale.

I wouldn't bring in a second dog until the first is well-trained. They are just as likely, if not more likely, to pick up bad habits from the resident dog.

Clicker training helps strengthen the bond on both the human and the canine side. If the main issue other than the lack of bond is the biting and the destruction routine and proper exercise and training will help.

Puppies are hard. I love dogs so much that my first career choice and degree was in dogs but I do not like puppies. I like them to play with and to train but I like to give them back to their owner after an hour. When my Beagle X was a puppy I despised him. I regularly threatened to send him back to the rescue. He wasn't my dog, he was the (adult) kid's dog but they didn't manage him so the responsibility for meeting his needs fell to me which was not what I signed up for. I wanted an Italian Greyhound, an adult staffy or small lurcher, not an intelligent, high-needs, and young working breed. He drove me to tears more than once.

He's 18 months old now, fairly well-trained, and I wouldn't be without him. He is 100% my dog and if my kids ever move out and try to take him with them they will have to prise his leash from my cold, dead hands. It took 6 months of work, training, and consistency to get there, though.

The problem is, the longer you leave it and the longer she's in a situation where the owners don't really "click" with her, the harder it will be in the future to change the behaviour and get her a new home.

I think you either need to commit to give it your all or accept she's not the right dog for you (or at least, isn't the right dog for you right now).

I’d say stick with it but really be totally consistent with training, I’d crate train for when leaving the house so the dog cannot destroy it.

we have 2 dogs, our older one was a dream, easy to train, house trained within a few days, never destroyed a thing.

then our daughter convinced us to get another, he was nothing short of an arsehole for about 8 months. He had the same training, a good routine, lots of walks and attention but he would not be toilet trained, he wrecked everything, every single cushion lost its zip, underwear stolen, crapped anywhere he wanted and even licked my wallpaperlining so he could rip it off the walls.

we remained consistent, learnt to not leave anything around, crate trained, and eventually he came round and he is honestly the most wonderful dog. He’s loving and funny and just great but honestly there were times I considered re homing him or leaving!

I hope it all works out for you.

Thank you. That’s really helpful 😊

Thank you. It’s helpful to hear from someone who’s been through something similar. Going to get a crate tomorrow

Both our dogs were nughtmares when little - biting us, destroying everything etc - I regreted getting them for a while!- they calmed down as they grew up a bit. They are only mildly annoying now! They are both terriers.

I currently have a puppy and have had a puppy before. Puppies are hard. Like the newborn/toddler phase. They are arseholes! But basically they are babies, with baby brains and don’t understand what they are doing.

If they are chewing things get anti chew spray - or coat the thing they like chewing in something that tastes bad - and give them something that is safe to chew instead.

Lots of exercise to calm them down

YABU for buying from breeders when shelters are full of rehomeable, house trained and healthy dogs.
And now you want to add to the crisis by rehoming your dog.

We have currently got a 9 week cocker spaniel and he's nippy atm but we have to be consistent of telling him no and redirecting him to chew his toys, we don't let him have roam on the house if we are down stairs then he has roam of down stairs he sleeps in a large create in the kitchen with toys bed, water bowl in there, can you try and find some one near you that can help you train him?