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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

I can't get my kitten....

271 replies

sugarpops · 10/11/2023 13:13

I have recently adopted a second kitten from a rescue. This is the second kitten I have adopted through them. I have also helped to rescue a cat through the same rescue. Everything seems above board and the lady is nice enough. Never assumed anything dodgy.

When I adopted my first kitten, I told her how I would think about getting another one. It just depended on financial things and if I could afford it.

A few weeks later (3 weeks ago now) she messaged me to say she has a little kitten who needed a home and has a very similar personality to my first kitten I adopted. She said they would be a perfect match and would I be interested. She sent me some photos and I agreed.

I then paid the adoption fee and a fee for neutering. She says if I pay for her neutering then she can get it done through her rescue (she is also a veterinary nurse) and it is cheaper.

She told me the kitten would be ready at the end of the week - 2 weeks ago. We were supposed to collect him 2 weeks ago today.

When I text her to arrange a time, she told me she was drunk at a party and would arrange text me the next day. She didn’t.

A couple more days passed by and I messaged her again. She didn’t reply for 2 days and told me her grandad had passed away. I replied with I was sorry to hear that, hope she was ok. She didn’t reply and I left it for a few days.

I text her again and to say I hope she was ok, and was there any update on when we could collect him. She told me she would drop him off this last week at some point. She hasn’t.

I have then text her again and I am being completely ignored.

I understand she may be having a tough time. But aibu to expect that I should still be able to collect the kitten? It would only take 5 minutes (she knows me well enough) and it would also be one less animal for her to look after.

I am getting concerned. Before she told me about her grandad, I was also trying to ask about the kitten I have got who is due her vaccinations and spay (which stupidly I have paid her for) and I’m getting absolutely no where with that either.

All in all she has about £250 of my money for 2 kittens, vaccinations and neutering and I am getting no where with any of it.

I thought I would text her again on Monday and ask one last time. If I get no response, I’ll have to take it further.

Who would I even speak to regarding this?

Or - am I just being completely unreasonable here? I have 3 dc at home who are asking when our new kitten is coming and I’m at a loss of what to tell them! My gut is he isn’t coming at all .

OP posts:
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LoobyDop · 10/11/2023 13:16

I don’t know what to suggest, but it will be ok if you get him a bit later than planned. My first cat was nearly six months when he wandered in off the street, and we delayed our second one coming home for another month after she was ready because we were having the bathrooms done and wanted to wait until it was nice and calm for her. Both settled in absolutely fine.

Original poster
sugarpops · 10/11/2023 13:17

I just wish she would reply with something rather than either nothing or not sticking to what she has said. I understand it's a tough time for her

OP posts:
Aprilx · 10/11/2023 13:20

I would tell her you want your money back and look for a second kitten elsewhere.

Original poster
sugarpops · 10/11/2023 13:25

Aprilx · 10/11/2023 13:20

I would tell her you want your money back and look for a second kitten elsewhere.

I don't think I'll get my money back. That's why I'm wondering who to go to make a complaint.

My gut feeling is the rescue has got into trouble financially. Looking back at messages, it looks like she was desperate to be paid.

Although absolutely everything is through text message so I have proof. I have my bank statement to prove I've paid and also she did send me the adoption certificate through email so I have everything as proof.

I just don't understand. I can completely understand how devastating it is to lose a grandparent. I was so close to mine and I sympathise....but it just all feels off to me.

OP posts:
MermaidEyes · 10/11/2023 13:30

To me this sounds dodgy. I've used several local rescues for my cats and have only paid the adoption fee as we were literally putting the cat in the basket to bring home. Also had proper coupons or certificates for anything that hadn't yet been done, like spaying or microchipping. I would email her (if you have that) and say you would like kitten by X date otherwise you will be taking up the charge with your bank and asking it to be reversed. Does she have a facebook page you can leave a review on? Personally I think she sounds completely unprofessional and if you do hopefully get your kitty I wouldn't use them again.

Radiat · 10/11/2023 13:33

Is it a registered charity or anything like that? I’d check with the local authority if you have the full name of her/her “rescue”. Do you know where she works?

ilovesooty · 10/11/2023 13:34

It does sound dodgy. When I've adopted I've paid the fee as I was about to take the cat home as @MermaidEyes said.

QuestionableMouse · 10/11/2023 13:36

If you know where she lives/works, I'd turn up and try to speak to her in person.

Are you sure there's actually another kitten? Have you seen them in real life and not just pics/vids?

Original poster
sugarpops · 10/11/2023 13:37

Radiat · 10/11/2023 13:33

Is it a registered charity or anything like that? I’d check with the local authority if you have the full name of her/her “rescue”. Do you know where she works?

Yes she works as a veterinary nurse about 5 minutes away from my house.

As for being a registered charity- I'm not sure. I will find that out.

It all started when I had a cat that lived 3 doors down for me that was being abused. Long story short, myself and this lady began working together to rescue this cat.

The plan was I was going to adopt her myself but unfortunately she had to be put to sleep. The lady was amazing through the whole process. We worked together and were in contact every day. I've never ever had any reason to doubt her.

OP posts:
Original poster
sugarpops · 10/11/2023 13:38

QuestionableMouse · 10/11/2023 13:36

If you know where she lives/works, I'd turn up and try to speak to her in person.

Are you sure there's actually another kitten? Have you seen them in real life and not just pics/vids?

She has a Facebook page and she put him up on that when he was found (dumped at the side of the road) and also little updates of him as he was getting better.

It seems for legit.

OP posts:
MermaidEyes · 10/11/2023 13:41

Are you sure she hasn't adopted him out to someone else?! And now she's desperately hoping another kitten turns up somewhere to take his place.

Chlorinara · 10/11/2023 13:42

I think going after your money is your best bet. Even if you don't expect to get it back. Ask for the kitten by x date or your money returned. Then write demanding a refund because she has failed to supply the kitten, then threaten to take her to small claims.

I think there's a good chance she will give you the kitten (or a kitten) eventually as it's easier and cheaper than returning your money. But you need to look like you mean it.

Original poster
sugarpops · 10/11/2023 13:43

MermaidEyes · 10/11/2023 13:41

Are you sure she hasn't adopted him out to someone else?! And now she's desperately hoping another kitten turns up somewhere to take his place.

I've also thought this too.

She hasn't put anything on her fb page since the death of her grandad. Maybe she's really struggling with it? I honestly don't know.

OP posts:
suitsyoumissus · 10/11/2023 13:44

I would go to her place of work and ask to speak to her. Take her aside so that others can't hear and say you're picking up your kitten after she finishes work - what time would that be? It's an implied threat to let her employer know what she's up to and it's what she deserves.

J316 · 10/11/2023 13:45

Tell her she has until the end of the day to drop kitten or pay your money back or you will contact her employer and police. I’d also be asking her employer if she’s getting her kittens nurtured through cat protection which is only £10 by the way 🫤

GrannyAchingsShepherdsHut · 10/11/2023 13:50

suitsyoumissus · 10/11/2023 13:44

I would go to her place of work and ask to speak to her. Take her aside so that others can't hear and say you're picking up your kitten after she finishes work - what time would that be? It's an implied threat to let her employer know what she's up to and it's what she deserves.

I'd do this, and while I was there and she's out the front where the reception is, I would also ask to make an appointment for the neutering etc for cat 1 that you've paid for and she hasn't arranged, if I'm understanding that situation correctly.

Original poster
sugarpops · 10/11/2023 13:50

Also just to add - she has the 'read' notifications on her messages. They are getting delivered but she isn't reading them.

Not to drip feed but the whole reason I'm getting another is for my 15 year old son. He's autistic and has a huge love of cats but no friends. He goes to a specialist school and is having such a hard time there at the moment. She knows all about my son and on the messages, I told her how he was having a bad time and that was my main reason for agreeing to adopt the kitten.

It's just frustrating

OP posts:
Original poster
sugarpops · 10/11/2023 13:51

J316 · 10/11/2023 13:45

Tell her she has until the end of the day to drop kitten or pay your money back or you will contact her employer and police. I’d also be asking her employer if she’s getting her kittens nurtured through cat protection which is only £10 by the way 🫤

Would it be a police matter? That was my first thought but then I thought they may tell me it's a civil matter.

It feels like theft though

OP posts:
Shellingbynight · 10/11/2023 13:54

So you haven't seen the kitten, just photos and videos?

This all sounds dodgy, I think you're right she was struggling for cash.
I've had rescue cats and payment was on collection of the kitten. Even when I've bought pedigree kittens, the only advance cost was a small deposit of around £80. Final payment was always on collection.

Original poster
sugarpops · 10/11/2023 13:58

Shellingbynight · 10/11/2023 13:54

So you haven't seen the kitten, just photos and videos?

This all sounds dodgy, I think you're right she was struggling for cash.
I've had rescue cats and payment was on collection of the kitten. Even when I've bought pedigree kittens, the only advance cost was a small deposit of around £80. Final payment was always on collection.

Photos and videos. Lots of updates on her facebook page of him though. He is definitely at her house as I've been many times so I know he is real - in that he has been in her care.

But what's happened to him, I have no idea.

Her page has many 5 star reviews and over 2k follows.

She hasn't posted since the day I paid her funnily enough and she does do frequent posts on a daily basis.

OP posts:
TheBunnyLover · 10/11/2023 14:01

Slightly off topic but who'd text a customer 'I'm drunk at a party?!' even if I was, I'd respond just with 'sorry, busy tonight will get back to you tomorrow' or something!
It does sound dodgy OP, I hope you get your money back and/or your kitten!

Itsnotchristmasyet · 10/11/2023 14:09

OP send her a message and say you’ll be coming to collect him on Sunday.
Is around X time ok?
And is it easier to meet at the house or vets?

Have you posted on her page?

HamsterBanana · 10/11/2023 14:10

I'd tell her you want your money back before you post online that's she's committing fraud & take her to a small claims court.

HamsterBanana · 10/11/2023 14:10

I'd also contact her work.

TheHawkisHowling · 10/11/2023 14:16

sugarpops · 10/11/2023 13:51

Would it be a police matter? That was my first thought but then I thought they may tell me it's a civil matter.

It feels like theft though

Show quote history

It's not a police matter, no. It is a civil issue so they won't get involved.

I'd set a deadline and then contact your bank at the end of it to say you've made a payment for something you haven't received, which means it's fraudulent. It doesn't matter if it's a bank transfer. You can still report it. It's possible for them to reverse the transaction although it may take a while for them to investigate.