MIL has, from day 1 had a possessive chip on her shoulder. It's really hard to explain, there's been so many small things over the years that I can't really remember, but when I first met DH, she made a huge deal of telling me that SHE'D decorated and picked all the decor/ sofas etc for the house he was then living in. I was like, okay great, not sure why you're telling me this or why it matters? When I moved into that house a couple of years into our relationship, she made it clear she wasn't happy and I can't explain it, but when she came to visit, she'd make all these petty, possessive remarks about things.
We bought a house together, 4 years after we met. She lives 3 hours away and would make a big thing of messaging saying she was going to come and visit and DH could just leave keys out for her to make herself at home (we were both at work) there was no question of her just arriving after we'd got home from work. I'd get home and she'd have rearranged things in the living room and would be asking me what the thank you card in the hallway was for etc.
We have 2 dogs and she acts so possessive and entitled over them, when she visits no one else is allowed to walk them (she knows walking the dogs is my favourite thing and whilst I do invite her on some dog walks, tbh some of the time I want to use walking the dogs as an excuse to get away from her for an hour) She cottoned onto the fact I enjoy the peace and quiet and excuse to get away from her for an hour, so now she jumps out of bed at 6.30 when she's here to dash downstairs and walk them before anyone else is up (they don't have a morning walk with us, they just get an hour and half's walk at some point in the day when we have time) she does the same again in the afternoon, stands up and announces that she's going to walk the dogs and practically runs to get their leads. Doesn't ask if it's okay, just does it. We once asked her not to walk them and she threw an almighty strop, said we were being cruel for not allowing her to walk the dogs (it was once, they'd both caught something off the field the day before and had been throwing up all night) she was their granny and entitled to walk them?! WTF?!
She came to stay at the weekend and said her and FIL would be with us at midday, we had a party to go with the kids until 2pm so asked if she could arrive about 2.30/3. She said no, they wanted to get to us for lunchtime and to just leave a key out and they'd make themselves at home. I said to DH I wasn't really comfortable with this, why couldn't they just arrive when we asked. He agreed but he said he wanted to pick his battles with his mum so would just leave the key out.
When we got home, I asked who wanted a drink and went to walk to the kettle, MIL jumped up and said 'I'll make the teas' I said, no it's fine, they're guests I'm happy to make the drinks to which she huffily said 'This is MY grandchildren and Son's home, I'm entitled to make a drink.' I snapped back I know it was, but it's my home too and I'm also entitled to make a drink. It was so awkward after that. On the Sunday it was my dad's birthday so I scarpered over to my parent's whilst DH took the kids out with PIL and it was great to get a break.
This morning I go on Facebook and see my MIL has joined our village community page and is commenting on someone's post?! WTF, she lives 3 hours away, why on earth has she joined our community page? I know why, because she's desperate to prove that our life is also HER life and that SHE practically lives here too (when she doesn't).
It's like a power struggle every time we see her and I'm so over it, AIBU?