Husband constantly telling me what not to do

[Hol932]

Recently it’s been really getting on my nerve that my husband tells me what ‘not to do’ or picks on little things I do with our 7 month old baby. For example walking down the stairs he’s like ‘hold onto the hand rail’. And ‘don’t slide the high chair between dining room and kitchen with the baby in it’, ‘don’t let him roll in the mornings incase he’s done a poo’ (which I don’t anyway?) but then he mentioned it was a suggestion for us both. Actually it’s not just with our baby it’s with our car as well. He’s constantly watching how I get in and out to make sure I don’t scratch anything/my coat zip doesn’t scratch anything. I’m just finding it all really tiring. I haven’t actually scratched/damaged the car at all. He thinks im very clumsy and dopey and I guess I am to a limit but not that much that I deserve this? But I’m really not sure if I’m the one being unreasonable and my husband is just making reasonable suggestions.

AIBU- husband is making reasonable suggestions.
YANBU- husband is unreasonable with his comments

Has he ever tried watching the baby and getting other shit done as well?

I'm not saying that this necessarily your situation, but my marriage was like this after ds1 was born. I even posted on here in 2011. And 2013.

When I eventually had a breakdown in 2021, it was very clear that the whole thing was abusive. Starting with the criticism.

Please be aware of this.

You're being gaslit - the fact that you now think you're dopey and clumsy tells me it's working. You should call him out on this and tell him you know what he's doing and he needs to stop. This is close to a red flag.