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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think this father was being unreasonable over heating a baby bottle in a bakery?

79 replies

MiniEggsMmm · 11/03/2008 11:11

I work in a bakery and yesterday it was really busy. This father came in with a baby bottle full of milk and asked (his tone was demanding) if we could heat it. I politly said to him that we aren't allowed to heat baby bottles of milk due to health and safety.

He then asked for a bowl of boiling water so he could heat the bottle himself. I told him we aren't allowed to do that either due to health and safety either.

He was really angry and demanded to see the manager. The manager came out and this man was really angry and was shouting at this point saying "you begrudge my little boy a warm bottle of milk you tight b@stards!" The manager explained that if we gave him a bowl of boiling water and he knocked it over himself or worse still, the baby, we would be in so much trouble. Plus we could get sued for something like that.

I suggested to him that he bring a flask of boiling water and a jug to heat the bottle in in future and told him that's what i used to do. He then shouted "oh fck off you stupid btch!" at me and walked out.

I wasn't being a jobs worth, this kind of thing really is a health and safety issue and unfortunatly, people will sue for anything these days so you just cannot take the risk anymore. Plus we had a shop full of customers waiting to be served.

OP posts:
catsmother · 11/03/2008 12:22

Mishymoo - my then 3 year old daughter did exactly that - in Early Learning Centre. Furthermore, they had always had a public toilet which they then closed "due to people taking advantage" (whatever that means - but presumably the problem was that people were using it and not buying anything).

I did apologise as my daughter stood in a puddle of wee, but I mean, in that shop of all places, you'd have thought they'd be sympathetic to a toddler needing the loo.

mishymoo · 11/03/2008 12:24

Cats - I can't believe ELC closed their toilet for public use considering the amount of children that go in their shops!

The shop we were in was like a pound shop and it was a Sunday so nothing else close by was open!

littlepinkpixie · 11/03/2008 12:47

This thread reminds me of my step mother, who used to cause all kinds of scenes like this, as she seemed to assume that if her own child needed anything while in a public place then everyone who worked there should immediately drop everything to help.
So you have my sympathies minieggsmmm!

waffletrees · 11/03/2008 13:46

I once worked in a hotel and a customer in the bar (not a guest in the rooms) demanded at 7pm a bowl of mashed potatoes for his baby. I explained that it would take about 40mins because the mash already made had a ton of salt in it. He went off on one - apparently a mashed banana or a pot of yoghurt wasn't good enough for his precious one. Why one earth would you leave the house that unprepared?! Some people really are under the impression that the world revolve around their offspring.
No YANBU - he was a disorganised twunt.

bluefox · 11/03/2008 13:48

coffeenchocolate - Is it really against the law for any shop to refuse access to their toilet? I work ina shop and would hate to think that any Tom Dick or Harry could have free access via the storeroom to the staff toilet.

GetOrfMoiLand · 11/03/2008 13:56

What would have been the problem with this tsupid man giving the baby a bottle of cold milk? It's not as if he has just taken it out of the fridge, is it.

Gave my dd cold milk on occasions. She is still alive.

contentiouscat · 11/03/2008 14:09

The thing is Mini Eggs if you have 2 cafes 1 where they will heat the bottle and 1 where they wont - if you have a baby and are going to lunch you will chose the one where they DO. No its not part of the job description but just old fashioned (and out of fashion) customer service.

I never had a problem getting hot water for a bottle, tbh if you are in business and taking money from the public then you SHOULD have public liability insurance which would protect you against claims.

Of course you are well within your rights to CHARGE for the hot water - just put it on the menu its up to people whether they accept it or not.

He was an arse for jumping the queue and being abusive though.

contentiouscat · 11/03/2008 14:13

Mini eggs just read that your bakery is take away only...in which case he is a complete prat. I would hope a cafe would be able to warm a bottle though.

JingleyJen · 11/03/2008 14:15

M&S and John Lewis used to have this problem when DS1 was little by the time DS2 was wanting food warmed up they had flasks to put hot water in to give to customers to take to tables.

VictorianSqualor · 11/03/2008 14:25

Only read OP, I worked in a bakery too, and we probably wouldn't have done it unless it was one of our regular customers and were doing it as a favour.
YANBU.

HereComeTheGirls · 11/03/2008 15:52

He sounds like he was having an adult tantrum..I work as a receptionist..and sometimes if I don't give someone an appointment they want..because I'm not allowed to, they kick off like this, like a big kid who can't get their own way!!

HereComeTheGirls · 11/03/2008 15:55

It actually drives me nuts when people get abusive to staff in shops who are just doing their jobs..for all he knew you could get the sack for giving him hot water when you aren't supposed to at him.

Original poster
MiniEggsMmm · 11/03/2008 16:28

My manager said i could get a written warning for giving him boiling water, it sounds silly but i suppose if i had i would have gone against what i have told NOT to do.

We don't even sell a cup of hot water to customers anymore because you can't charge the price of a cup of tea for hot water (80p) so we used to charge 30p. Then people would take advantage and buy a cup of hot water for 30p and add their own teabag! So as 80p is too much to charge for hot water we just refuse the sale now.

OP posts:
JingleyJen · 11/03/2008 17:55

Mini, how does that work for someone who genuinely wants a cup of hot water? It was the main thing that helped with my morning sickness.. Am I allowed to ask for tea but with the bag on the side? (don't mind paying 80p for cup of hot water)

Hulababy · 11/03/2008 18:02

The father over reacted and his behaviour was out of order. There is no question of that surely, he was rude and aggress and that is not on.

However I can empathise with his frustration and I think the whole H&S thing on heating up of baby's bottles and food is ridiclous.

Why is it okay for someone to be allowed to carry a cup of biling water for tea, but not for heating a bottle?

Infact I know someone who had this problem once before and ended up simply paying for a hot drink, knowing full well that the tea came in a pot, with no tea bag in it - to be added by the cutomer later. She simply hetaed the bottle up in the tea pot! Only problem was it did cost her money to be able to do so, but felt she had no other choice.

Hulababy · 11/03/2008 18:07

Am confused now - so this was not a cafe in a bakery then? He was not a customer wanting to sit down to eat or drink, and feed his child at the same time?

rookiemater · 11/03/2008 21:25

With hulababy am confused ? If a bakery then YANBU, if a cafe then I think its a perfectly reasonable request to ask for hot water, although clearly swearing at you was not. Can you clarify minieggs.

Original poster
MiniEggsMmm · 11/03/2008 22:07

In my op their is no mention of me working in a cafe so i don't understand why people think i'm talking about a cafe? I have clarified early in the thread that i work in a take-away only bakery.

This man was NOT a customer, he merly walked in off the street, walked past all of the queing, paying customers and said to me "excuse me but can you heat up my babies bottle" in a rather demanding tone. When i refused politly he got angry and hurled abuse.

OP posts:
Original poster
MiniEggsMmm · 11/03/2008 22:16

When i did work in a cafe, we used to hate people asking for extra hot water when they had a pot of tea. The reason was because you have paid for a pot of tea, fair enough but people used to add the hot water to the teapot thus making the tea go further meaning they are going to be taking up a table for twice as long. That meant that during busy times, people were walking away because there were no tables available, so you lose money because the customers walking away would be spending money.

It sounds tight i know but why should someone get 'free tea' from their hot water (even if it is manky after being brewed to death) and be sat at a table for twice as long when there could be people sat there who are spending money. Does any of this make sense?

OP posts:
scottishmummy · 11/03/2008 22:31

the only people responsible for the temperature of the baby milk is the parents- not the bakery or anyone else.

buy a thermos
if you have a car use this"

dixichik · 11/03/2008 22:37

If the man had half a brain he would have kept the baby's bottle tucked under his armpit whilst out and then it would have been at the right temp when his son needed it. (A little trick I did often).

As for speaking to anyone like he did he needed to be told to shove the bottle of milk up his fucking arse as that would warm it up nicely. What an arrogant piece of shit!

TenaciousG · 11/03/2008 23:14

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

hana · 12/03/2008 00:30

don't people just give things at room temp ? problem solved. don't know why babies need things warmed up (well they don't)

cory · 12/03/2008 20:55

Totally agree with Hana. Of all the silly things you could choose to get stressed over if you've got a baby. We used to travel a lot with both of ours, sometimes we took a flask of hot water, sometimes they just had it at room temperature. We often mixed up the powder in lukewarm water (saving the milk from going off if we were out all day)- no problem!
Some parents really do seem helpless.

smallone · 12/03/2008 21:21

People seem to take "the customer is always right" to extremes sometimes! I always assume that I will have to sort myself out and then if I can use someone elses facilities then it is a bonus - not a right.

That includes the use of a toilet. I believe its only establishments that serve food to eat-in that have to allow you to use their toilet. I worked in a card shop and had many requests to use our toilet. I had to say no as I was unable to allow anyone, for whatever reason into our "off-floor" area. I would have been sacked. and yes I was told by someone that they would allow their child to pee on my floor. Nice attitude. Of course there has been the odd accident and mortified parents usually come and ask for something to help clear up but then there are also people who just walk out. If this ever happens to you, please own up and think of the staff who are not paid to clear up!