To preference a school 35 minutes away?

[Sallyh87]

Going through the process of filling out school selection forms. The best one is a 35 minute walk away and my DDs best friend from nursery is going to select this one. I can’t drive (disability) but DH can. DH can likely drive her 3 - 4 times a week due to WFH.

So my question

• is a 35 minute walk too much for a four year old
• would a closer but not as highly rated school be better
• Is there any kind of older child pushchair I could use???

Granted, I am sure there is a bus service but I find buses so unreliable.

@Icepop79 how far is it in actual distance?

If you’ve no choice, then you’ve no choice other than, at least, a 25 minute walk. Some people live near schools, others, unfortunately, do not. In the town I live, the schools are pretty evenly spaced out; in other towns, for historic reasons, they are not. OP is in the fortunate position of having a school 15 minutes from the house and there is no sensible reason to choose the distant one.

As I said earlier in the thread and has also been explained by @PuttingDownRoots, this is not correct. There is no risk whatsoever in listing a school you may not get as your first choice as long as you include a school you are highly likely to get (usually your local or catchment school) somewhere on your list. Schools cannot and do not prioritise people by the order that they listed them. It does not differ by area- this is the law across England and has been since 2007. Always list schools in your genuine order of preference, with no game playing or risk management (as there is no risk!).

Think of it as though every choice you list is a completely separate application. The order only matters if you are able to be offered a place at more than one school, in which case you will be offered the one you listed highest.

35 minutes for you or for a child? DS5’s school is a 4 minutes walk for me but 10 minutes for him. There are occasional days (towards the end of term) when he hasn’t even had the energy to walk home and has had to be carried halfway home.

We moved from a shit school a 10 minute walk away to a school with exceptional SEN provision a 45 min walk away. We walk past 3 other schools to get to our school. The plan was to continue walking or bike riding (25 minutes) but it's just not feasible, particularly on the return leg which is pretty much uphill all the way. The kids are just too tired at the end of the school day, it's absolutely shit in inclement weather and it stops you being able to do after school activities.

The other thing to consider is pick ups when your kid is ill- if you can't drive do you really want to be taking half an hour to get to them then making a vomiting/poorly kid walk 35 mins?

Op you would be insane to commit to walking that much every day. Even on a lovely sunny day (which most days are not) it would be challenging.

Each day would look like this presumably:

• 35 minutes walk to school with child
• 35+ minutes walk home by yourself
• 35 minutes walk back to school by yourself
• 35+ minutes walk back home with child

If you insist on it, at least get a bike!!

While I completely understand everyone’s reactions and comments about parents/grandparents always doing it and never was a problem, times have changed massively since then and for most families with two working parents (or a single parent that works!) giving up over two hours of their day to walk to/from school is just not feasible.

My grandmother never worked, so could easily give up whatever time was necessary to do the walk, plus the roads were much less busy so my Dad walked to school by himself from a much younger age.

I have worked my hours around drop off/pick up (I’m a teacher, so not easy to do!) but if I drive the kids to school instead of walk, I gain an extra 15/20 mins in the morning so if I’ve got extra marking to do, lessons to plan etc, that extra time can make a huge difference and give me more time with my kids after school. I try to always walk to school for the pick up, as we’re never in a rush then. Plus if you’re going straight to work from drop off, when it’s raining really heavily, it’s not fun spending the morning damp and cold at work - it’s different if you’re walking home, getting changed and drying off 🤣

If I was a SAHM (like far more people were years ago as families could live on one income), I’d definitely (try to!) walk to and from school every day, no matter what the weather but it’s not feasible when you factor in working.

Best decision I ever made was local school...we walk back with others and she made friends with children locally she can play with. A friend did what you did. Her car been in the garage for a week....it's not been easy for her to get her child to school. Child is also tried as longer day with the extra distance.

However your child so you know what right for them. Personally I think 35 mins walk is a lot twice a day for a 4 year old ..and this be for 7 years...every day apart from holidays and also you have to go back to collect them if unwell

Honestly, when my daughter was 4 we were in Covid and we absolutely LOVED our hour a day walking (further tbh most days) and I think this would be fine if you get in the routine. As others have pointed out, is it 35 minutes for you both?

It may make it harder for you to work though unless there are employment options v close to the possible school? If so, it could work perfectly!

OP to reassure you, the Ofsted rating doesn’t seem to have that much correlation with the happiness and success of the children. Outstanding schools often just have an extra layer of bureaucracy and spin, compared to Good. As long as you think your child is going to be happy and safe and the education is okay (and parents need to do quite a bit of education themselves at primary age) the nearer school will be the better option, as the journey is so much kinder on your family.

You cannot compare an hour a day stroll, during covid in good weather, with no time constraints, to a trudge to school, in all weathers, trying to get them there on time every day for the next 10 years.

The days you're running late, one of thems needed a change before leaving, or you think their getting dressed for them to be distracted with toys, trying to get one to school, the baby to nursery, hurry-up (do children even know the meaning of hurry-up). All battling the clock the weather.
Really tying to Op too for the options of doing drop of and then going to work. A heck of a lot can change over 10 years.

OP you have made a sensible choice. It is a well known fact that bad weather always ramps up a notch at school drop off/ collection times . I was 5ft 5ins when I started walking my daughter to and from primary school- now she is 15 and I have shrunk 4ins due to getting soaked so many times 😉

Seriously though, my DD went to primary with one of her preschool besties. They ended up as part of a 3 and her original bestie would gang up on her with the other girl. This was very upsetting for us both.

DD decided, aged 9, that she wanted to go to grammar secondary school. She passed her 11+ and off she went, without a look back at previous bestie(s)!

She now has a lovely, caring friendship group and has thrived after 5 years of being surrounded by such lovely children.

So the bestie from preschool often does not become a school bestie as they grow as people. All the best to your DC for the school start!

I wouldn't pick a school because a nursery friend MIGHT go there as well. Kids that age change friends like the weather.
Who is going to transport child when your husband can't?
Who is going to collect them when they're ill and the school call for you to fetch them?

You can't compare a nice, leisurely stroll in the sunshine with the time constraints and rush of the school run.

35 minutes doesn’t sound bad but when you think about yourself

• 35 minutes to get there of a morning
• 35 minutes to get back home
• 35 minutes to walk back to the school at home time to pick up
• 35 minutes back home

it equates to a 2 hours 20 minute walk maybe longer if your child walks slow

Ours is a longer walk (10 min drive). It’s a bit inconvenient but it’s the best school so it’s worth it.

DD’s school as a 5 min walk away and it’s still the bane of my life. 35 min would be a no from me! X

I think you've come to the right decision. I can see why the other school is tempting, but 35 mins is a long way, especially in the rain or with a kid who feels unwell. (Or a parent that feels unwell but still needs to pick up).

DS5 can frolic through country parks for three hours at the weekend no problem, but after a seven-hour school day, the ten-minute walk home can be a lot.

It's a 35 minute walk 1-2 times a week, not every day, I thought based on the headline it was going to be a 35 minute drive! If you're happy to walk there and back twice a week then I don't see the issue. My DD went to an infant school a 20 minute walk away up a giant hill and her Junior is 35 minutes, never bothered her walking she actually prefers it than driving. Just depends on the child i guess but our closest school is terrible and I wouldn't have wanted her there. The walk is perfectly reasonable, just depends how much you want her to go there.

Ummmmm

clearly I’m from a different part of the world! 35 mins is nothing for getting to school. We have kids with a over a 90 min bus, each way!

Try walking it with the kid. I’m also guessing you’re in part of the world where it’s warm enough to bike most of the year. That would cut it down to a 7-15 min bike.

find a neighbour older kid (grades 4-6) and pay them to ride with your child to school. Maybe not this year, but for the next few, till they are old enough to do it themselves.

I’d do it for the better school. And not having to switch in a year or two.

@NoThanksymm which country has 4/5 year olds on 90min bus journeys to school?

I think it's a bit of a stretch. Yes, your dh works from home and is able to drive her there and back three days a week now, but can you reasonably expect this work pattern to continue for seven years?

Then there's all the stuff that you have to go in to school for, class assembly, band performances, meet the teacher, parents evening, Christmas performances, fairs - that can change the drop off and pick up times that will make your back up bus option more difficult to work around or will sometimes require you to go home and then pop back again.

Then when she gets to the older years in primary she won't be able to walk home with her friends.

I'm not sure how much better one primary school can be over another to be worth all the rigmarole.

We live 30 minute walk from our primary school but it is an "outstanding" ofsted school and one of the best in the area. Originally we were concerned but I've been going there since 2016 and still have another 6 years to go. I don't drive (epilepsy) so we walk. DS5 has a 3style scooter which was very reasonable priced and easy to pull him on. It does suck on bad weather days but ultimately, I think the school is great. Also haven't had a problem with making friends because by the time DS11 wanted to play out, he was biking places on his own anyway. His high school is actually further than the primary was!