Working on christmas day, the entitlement of others

[Mysticcatmum]

I have a job in a 111 NHS call centre, the office is open 24hrs 7 days a week. I have just been given my Christmas rota and to my delight I have been given off Xmas day (which I have worked previous years).

Now I have had an influx of colleagues who have children, asking me to cover their shifts since 'I have no children'.

So, my question is, AIBU for thinking that I do not (apprantly) deserve to have a christmas off with my family (who have had a rough year) all for the sake of those who have children, who have been off previous years?

It's VERY entitled to ask.

It's always obnoxious to prevail upon someone in order to benefit oneself, with zero benefit to the person one is importuning. Always.

If someone wants to switch shifts they will announce it. If no offer is forthcoming, don't ask. Accept your lot in life and take your rightful turn in the rota. Tell your kid Santa is coming on Boxing Day this year because there are so many kids on the planet now compared to the olden days that it takes him two days to deliver.

I have worked Christmas day when my youngest was 4, and then again the following year. Fast forward a few years and I am due to work it again this year, dayshift.
Every time (even when too young to understand) we would just tell the kids that mum is working and we will have our Christmas on a different day.
There has never been any missed magic!
Having kid’s does not automatically make anyone more entitled than others!

It's always obnoxious to prevail upon someone in order to benefit oneself, with zero benefit to the person one is importuning. Always

This is what annoys me the most. The person on the receiving end gets zero benefit from this 'deal' and is made to feel unreasonable if they don't agree to it.

Yes the same applies, hence why I said 'Having to work on Christmas is sucky for many people'. It was the comment that it was 'sucky working when you have young kids the magic only lasts so many years' that I took issue with, as it's sucky for anyone who has to work on Christmas who doesn't want to, not just those with kids.

I know. It's like someone getting on a plane and saying "Hey, I don't like the middle seat, how about we swop and I get your window seat instead??" What's in it for the askee? Nothing! But the entitleworker somehow thinks they are justified in asking.

Newsflash: People who want to work Christmas Day would have signed up to do so! If they've asked to have the day off, there's a reason. Entitleworker's reason doesn't trump that. Guilting people with tales of "missing magical moments" is bullshit. Move the magical moments to another day or time.

So who gets to decide who's Christmas is more important than others? Parents?

I have a muslim friend who celebrates with his family, tree, presents etc, as do I work with a Hindu family who do the same. Being non-Christian would not make me assume that a person doesn't part-take in the festivity.

@LaurieStrode Don't be ridiculous. Announce it! How would they do that ffs! Ask the local town crier! You can throw about phrases all you like. Here's one:you don't ask, you don't get! Obviously not ok to put pressure on anyone but of course it's fine to ask. Don't be silly.

statistically it really isn't that hard, avoiding jobs in emergency/care services, the church and the handful of restaurants that choose to open for christmas dinner leaves loads of options. Considering the amount of training required for emergeny services, a person hardly falls into it through desperation, it is very much a choice.

*God, the entitlement is SO tiresome."

The lack of kindness and goodwill is more surprising though. The things that mark the day as different to other national holidays.
But yeah, get all indignant.

In theory it’s fine to ask politely but - as with plane seats - that is never what happens. They ask, you say no, they start wheedling on about magical moments, you say no again, they start going on about how they’re only young once and you’re an adult who can do Christmas the next day, you say no for the third time and hope they get the message, and then either they take the passive aggressive hump or they continue to bring up every single team meeting that they’re being forced to deprive their kids of a medical Xmas etc etc etc.

So yeah. In theory. In reality, the above is what happens.

Where is the kindness and goodwill from the importuning parents? Where is their consideration, sympathy and empathy for anyone but themselves?

Christmas is for everyone who wants to enjoy it, NOT just for kids and "families."

It's up to everyone to make their own individual circumstances work, without intruding on/stamping on others' right to enjoy the season. Don't want to be away from kids on Christmas morn, don't invest in a career where that's a frequent possibility.

If you do anyway, don't whine to the rest of us.

Well, you crack on then and give up your days as you like. Do not though impose this on other people who have their just as valid reasons.

The fastest way for parents wanting high days and holidays off through dint of having children is to behave as if this is their right. It isn't. That sort of selfish behaviour makes people want to dig their heels in. I don't have this at work but, if I did, I'd never give up the day for the foot-stamper, not ever.

Parents and their families are not more important than anybody else and theirs. The sooner everybody receives that message, the better for all.

111 isn’t an emergency service

No, it's not fine to put people on the spot. Ever. It's classless, selfish and obnoxius.

Remember, people who don't mind working Christmas Day already have signed up to do so!!! Those who have requested leave have done so for a reason. It's not up to others to decide those reasons aren't good enough, and barge in with a request to swap.

What about the lack of goodwill to the people you expect to facilitate the Christmases of parents? I don't see much of that knocking around in your posts. Not important enough, I guess.

There was a thread on this a year or two ago where someone tried to argue that they, as a parent, demonstrated kindness to their colleagues in return for priority over leave by… drumroll ensuring that proper handover notes were prepared for when she wasn’t in the office.

I was genuinely staggered that not only was that the best she could come up with, but that she clearly thought it was a good example of the kind of “give and take” that should exist in a workplace.

In fairness that poster is also the only person who’s ever given an answer to the question. Most just like to pop in, say that kindness wouldn’t go amiss, then disappear.

I wouldn’t want to help out anyone who even has the TEMERITY to think it’s ok to ask a single person to sacrifice their Christmas for random children after having worked Xmas day for YEARS.

Anyone like that is the LAST person I’d want to show kindness and goodwill to.

There’s an irony here!

Your version of kindness and goodwill appears to go one way only.

Stand firm - you are as entitled to have Christmas Day off as anyone else. If people can't bear the thought of working on days such as this then they shouldn't be in a job which requires them to work.

You don't need to give any reasons, just say NO, and mean it.

I wasn’t specifying the OP’s own case, just pointing out that your ‘so so privileged’ comment was pointless as many of the careers that involve Christmas Day working do involve an active choice due to the jobs that they tend to be.

And even for less skilled work, say cleaners/cooks/admin personnel who work for hospitals (and other related healthcare), there’s still a fair element in choice in taking a job in a hospital as opposed to any of the millions of businesses that shut on Christmas Day. Even the GP surgery is shut!

I agree it's up to management but I still think need outweighs want.

Thankfully no. I have been given the day and the following 3 off as it is sadly most definitely my Mum's last Christmas (she has advanced, terminal cancer and actually wasn't 'meant' to be here by now, but somehow is, albeit declining daily), and highly likely we won't have Dad this time next year either. So, it's a quiet day with just them and DH this year but so thankful I haven't got to work!.

@Flippityflippidy I hope you all have a very peaceful Christmas together ❤️💐

Of course OP is entitled to their turn of Christmas off and shouldn't feel bad about it.

I do find it a bit black and white when people say "don't pick jobs that require you work Christmas then", or "get another job". I started med school at 19. I was a kid. No way I was considering any potential feelings of sadness at missing my kid's Christmas 20 years later. People's circumstances change. I was asked, nicely, when I was younger to swap all sorts of shifts because of school holidays etc. Sometimes I said yes, sometimes no. It's pretty accepted that people do shifts that you can't change but every now and again you'd get something like "my parents are coming over from Australia" or "I really can't get childcare for xx date". No skin off my back if I didn't have plans but no one ever got upset if I said no. I'd say asking over email is more polite than in person, it's easier to say no over email.