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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Working on christmas day, the entitlement of others

898 replies

Mysticcatmum · 08/11/2023 11:15

I have a job in a 111 NHS call centre, the office is open 24hrs 7 days a week. I have just been given my Christmas rota and to my delight I have been given off Xmas day (which I have worked previous years).

Now I have had an influx of colleagues who have children, asking me to cover their shifts since 'I have no children'.

So, my question is, AIBU for thinking that I do not (apprantly) deserve to have a christmas off with my family (who have had a rough year) all for the sake of those who have children, who have been off previous years?

OP posts:
SunshineAutumnday · 08/11/2023 14:59

Nurse here, it's on a rota, for a reason. Enjoy your day off and ignore them.

hermioneee · 08/11/2023 15:02

Well quite @MrsDanversGlidesAgain @fitzwilliamdarcy all we can do on these holidays is cry into our mince pies and watch tv whilst waiting for the celebration of the season which is NYE where we glug champagne and dance to the early morning with a French duke. With our diamond encrusted tiaras.

Loveandloveandlove · 08/11/2023 15:05

People have a choice of what job they do (most of time) so if you didn’t want to work Christmas day, etc then you shouldn’t take the job. You have done your fair share of working on Christmas day so don’t let them make you feel guilty!

Kimten · 08/11/2023 15:13

Wingedharpy · 08/11/2023 11:19

My answer to this one used to be "I may have no children but I am someone's child".
Enjoy your day off OP.

This.

Smugandproud · 08/11/2023 15:23

I used to work for the NHS and every Christmas my Muslim colleagues would be asked to swap shifts by the white , usually women, with dc. Some were happy to do so but one guy rightly said that he loved Christmas tv so why should he swap! He usually did though because he felt guilt tripped.

I think the person having Christmas day off should have to offer to swap and staff shouldn’t be allowed to ask.

cloverpots · 08/11/2023 15:23

As someone else has already said, it's on a rota for a reason and this year it is their turn to work. You do not need to feel one ounce of guilt nor do you need to justify yourself in any way. Enjoy!

SauronsArsehole · 08/11/2023 15:27

Smugandproud · 08/11/2023 15:23

I used to work for the NHS and every Christmas my Muslim colleagues would be asked to swap shifts by the white , usually women, with dc. Some were happy to do so but one guy rightly said that he loved Christmas tv so why should he swap! He usually did though because he felt guilt tripped.

I think the person having Christmas day off should have to offer to swap and staff shouldn’t be allowed to ask.

Quite!

I think most workplaces could request for volunteers to work Xmas and new year with a bonus day off later in the year if they work them for example . This would be a good incentive for some to take those shifts that few want. With the rest allocated on a rota so no one gets multiple Xmas/boxing days off.

user1471556818 · 08/11/2023 15:33

Smile and keep smiling but you worked last Christmas so you're going to enjoy Christmas off this Yr with your family .Retired nurse here and husband did support work. We didn't get Christmas off much together and 1 Yr I thought he was going to his grans for a sleepover on Christmas eve as we were both on nights. Kindly someone swapped shift with my husband.
But it never occurred to us to pull we have a child card even then tbh.
So have a great Christmas

DaftyInTheMiddle · 08/11/2023 15:36

It doesn’t matter what your situation is, if you want to spend Xmas day alone on the sofa in your pants shovelling in mince pies by the bucketload then do it. And don’t let anyone make you feel otherwise. A polite “no sorry I have plans” is fine.

lunar1 · 08/11/2023 15:38

Fuck off is a complete sentence, enjoy your Christmas off.

Inyourwildestdreams · 08/11/2023 15:41

I’m afraid if you work in a role that potentially requires you working on Christmas Day then you take your turn when it comes 🤷🏻‍♀️ no preferences should be given to those with children etc.

I’d send a single email reply copying them all in telling them that you’ll be enjoying your Christmas Day off and will not be swapping with any of them.

I have been responsible for scheduling, including Xmas & NY period for the last 12 years and it’s always a nightmare. It’s always done fairly and everyone works year on/year off (including myself) but still every year I get bombarded with emails etc after the schedule is released with stories as to why they should have it off this year too 🙄 “great aunt Susan is coming from Australia for Christmas so I really need to be there”, “my husband won’t know how to cook the dinner”, “I’m going to my granny’s on Christmas Eve and I’ll have to wake up early to drive to work the next day” 😂

SweetBirdsong · 08/11/2023 15:42

I have children @Mysticcatmum but do agree totally. Ideally we would all have Christmas off, but prioritizing parents over non-parents is shit. They shouldn't trump you coz they have kids!

RovenderKitt · 08/11/2023 15:47

Don’t give in OP!

You’ve prompted me to plan a discussion with DH and our teenage DDs tonight about what we’ll do this year as DH is working Christmas Day and Boxing Day. Previously we just had Christmas a day early, the kids knew in advance it would be on the ‘wrong’ day and of course it made no difference to them. The only ‘issue’ we had was that all their friends were badgering their own parents to do it too!

Blah12345678999 · 08/11/2023 15:48

I’m just curious, those saying it’s perfectly reasonable for someone to ask if OP would swap their day off but it’s the way the person asks that matters… Would people be mortified if someone with no kids at work asked someone with kids if they’d swap their Christmas Day off? If someone has booked the leave and wants the time off then let it be, kids or no kids, even if someone doesn’t have blood relatives they’re entitled to have the day off just as much as anyone else!

Ktime · 08/11/2023 15:48

Smugandproud · 08/11/2023 15:23

I used to work for the NHS and every Christmas my Muslim colleagues would be asked to swap shifts by the white , usually women, with dc. Some were happy to do so but one guy rightly said that he loved Christmas tv so why should he swap! He usually did though because he felt guilt tripped.

I think the person having Christmas day off should have to offer to swap and staff shouldn’t be allowed to ask.

I agree with you.

Christmas is a good time for Muslims to get together too, with everyone being off and with a halal turkey and decorations.

It’s not fair that Muslims are expected to work on Christmas, especially as they have to book annual leave to get Eid off, it’s not a bank holiday.

Dinneronmybfpillow · 08/11/2023 15:56

NHS nurse here. It's part and parcel of the job. Used to work in the community so got the benefit of weekends and Christmas off every year. Now I'm back in a 24 hour service in the hospital, so no Christmas off but I get the benefit of working long days (giving me days off with my children but still being able to work full time).

My children are small so I really wanted to be home for Xmas eve bedtime and first thing Christmas Day for stockings, but in return I tend to work late Xmas day so my childfree colleagues can be home drinking as soon as they can 🤣

MrsDanversGlidesAgain · 08/11/2023 16:00

hermioneee · 08/11/2023 15:02

Well quite @MrsDanversGlidesAgain @fitzwilliamdarcy all we can do on these holidays is cry into our mince pies and watch tv whilst waiting for the celebration of the season which is NYE where we glug champagne and dance to the early morning with a French duke. With our diamond encrusted tiaras.

Now THAT'S a NYE I'd stay up for! 😄

addictedtotheflats · 08/11/2023 16:01

As someone with a child who also works for a 24 hour service in the NHS I wouldn't dream of asking any colleague to cover my xmas day because I have a child. Its widely know if you had it off the previous year you will be working it this year. Cheeky bastards.

Catza · 08/11/2023 16:02

I am NHS too and no way. I have no plans for Xmas as my partner and step daughter are away visiting grandparents in another country. I still don't intent to swap as it is my turn to have Christmas off. I did swap on a number of occasions when I felt like doing so (shifts are quiet and the trust paid for a taxi to work and back) but in no way I felt obligated to do it.
I used to work in a private sector where holidays were definitely allocated to favour colleagues with children. I don't feel this is necessarily fair.

Livinginanotherworld · 08/11/2023 16:09

TheJubileePortrait · 08/11/2023 11:48

While you do have a right to the day off I do think it’s selfish and parents with young children should be given priority.

😂😂😂 funny

itsalongwaybackfromsorry · 08/11/2023 16:12

YANBU

Don't even entertain the requests. You've done your share of Christmases, it's your turn to enjoy one with your loved ones.

Squirrelsbite · 08/11/2023 16:13

You were rota’d on last year
they are rota’d on this year
enjoy your restful Christmas

WearyAuldWumman · 08/11/2023 16:19

I'm just sick of the mindset that parents with young children should be prioritised for consideration.

I worked in a school, so Christmas holidays weren't an issue. However, I was a middle manager. The understanding was that middle managers wouldn't be given register classes (unless someone was absent) because we needed that time to deal with issues that might have arisen the previous day - chasing up behavioural problems, etc.

My HT told me that the new teacher coming to us would not be taking the register class on her timetable because she had 'to get 4 young children ready in the morning'. She also couldn't do period 1 classes for the same reason, so my timetable had to be changed.

At that time, I was getting up in the morning, waking up my husband to help him partially dress and then letting him sleep again - he suffered from hemiparesis, following a stroke.

I was also told that the SLT had agreed that she wouldn't have to write report cards and therefore wouldn't have to attend parents' evenings. (No, not kidding.) They were running scared of her because she'd previously gone to an industrial tribunal, complaining that accommodations had not been made for her parenthood. (No, she wasn't a single mother. Her husband was in the SLT at another school. Yes, I'm certain that that little fact also influenced them, but it was the industrial tribunal that had the biggest impact.)

I looked my line manager in the eye and asked 'So who's writing them, then?'

Yup. He'd expected Muggins here to do it. I smiled sweetly and told him that the SLT had made the arrangement, so they'd better deal with the problem.

MargotBamborough · 08/11/2023 16:19

YANBU to want to be off on Christmas Day.

Your Christmas is not less important just because you don't have kids.

Chirpinup · 08/11/2023 16:21

I’m surprised there’s anyone left to cover the wards on Christmas Day to be honest, because the amount of substantive staff left in the NHS is ridiculous and I don’t think agency staff work Christmas Day.