To tell MIL it's none of her business how DD looks on her school photo

[northernlightsareamazing]

My MIL has just phoned to say that they've just received the first term Tempest photo of Y7 DD, and had a massive strop because in her opinion DD looked a disgrace and it was a shame because it was their first image of her in her high school uniform and it wasn't smart because her tie was a bit loose.
Tbh I've never got worked up about how my DDs look when they go to school, as long as they are wearing clean correct uniform then I leave it up to them whether they have shirts tucked in or whatever, so I don't consider a slightly loose tie/undone top button on a school photo to be a massive issue since it's probably representative of how they look at school. I'd rather they were comfortable, happy and doing well at school.

She has the most beautiful smile!

Is massively over reacting always your immediate response to a situation 🙄

NC over a comment about a photo? Don't be ridiculous

Thank you. She's very pretty IMO, can be a total pain in the arse but we've just had a fun evening making toffee!

OMG I love your daughter 😍

Your daughter looks delightful. That smile is a joy to behold.

No way a shit parent. You're definitely doing something right.

Ignore MIL. She's a silly moo!

Don’t send the photos next time.

tbh YABU for buying Tempest photos though

She’s got lovely teeth though!!!

Thank you. Even though she always has her top button undone.......?!🙄

Of course she would. And while she's at it, she would tell her MIL to remove her husband and grandchildren from the will. Of course she would.

Ridiculous much?

My solution is super immature and totally passive aggressive, but I admit I've used this tactic for years when absolutely necessary to detach from a convo, but can't do it tactfully.

When the other person is talking I interrupt: Sorry, are you there? Hello? Hello?
I wait a few seconds, say Are you there? Wait a few seconds. Hang up. Then I turn my phone off for a while so call backs go to voice mail which I delete without listening to.
I'm a child. I know. 🤷‍♀️

Your dd’s smile is gorgeous, I’d be chuffed with a photo like that. My eldest has gone out of his way not to smile on his school photo for years! Tbh I think it’s weird kids are forced to dress like little business people in suits and ties. Glad she’s able to keep herself comfy without getting a detention.
Oh yeah, mil. “Oh that’s a shame you don’t like it, my mum loves it, would you mind sending it back as she wanted an extra one to give to show off to aunty Geraldine” - granny shame her into submission! X

If it was me, I'd have told her she was being ungrateful, because she is.

The head of year helps supervise the pictures here and the photographer herself told the kids to do up buttons/ties as per uniform policy, as do any accompanying teachers. I’m surprised they took a photo without insisting on her doing up her top button.

Yes, it was very Drama Llama - I don't think estrangement is a good response! lol 🙄

They've got somewhere around 600 kids out of class to photograph in a specific order to ensure they get matched up on the file transfers for a standard secondary years 7, 10, 12 and assorted never-had-a-photo day. If they don't do it the first time they're told, there's no time to ask again.

I'd had told her DH would ring her back later to discuss it.

How dare she tell you that your daughter looks a disgrace? Your daughter looks lovely, her smile beams through that picture. The fact that her own grandmother sees something different to strangers on the internet and sees something so negative is very concerning, she sounds absolutely awful. I agree with others, inform her that there will be no further pictures and that your DD would be very hurt to know that this had been said about her by her own grandmother. I would be so angry about this.

My mil always has something to say too - one year she was tutting because dd had spelled Christmas wrong - c-h-n-s-t-m-a-s on the school card.
eh? That’s an r-i not an n, the giveaway being the dot over the i.

Every year we send her gorgeous candid photos of the dc - my dm has them enlarged and framed, and mil tuts because they’re not like the stiff, awkward formal ones of her other gc.

And she’s actually well meaning, but just so bloody negative about everything. @Mumtobabyhavoc my family think I’m partially deaf because I often don’t hear them quite right

We had all of ks3 so 600 kids, supervising class teacher, head of year, photographer, somehow managed. The photographer insisted if it hadn't already been done.

‘Well MIL that’s just how they do it these days’

Do you have a quashing come back for such judgmental nonsense?

pp Is right btw your DD has an incredible smile!

Admittedly can't see the whole thing, but it looks like a gorgeous, genuine photo! MIL sounds a bit miserable, but can't believe the batshit go NC. I do wonder how some people get through life.

School photos are always a bit strange.. clean child manages to get toothpaste trail down the front of their top/hair does something unexplicable/normally well behaved child looks like they are posing for a mugshot. I have a photo of my older son when he was about 8 looking very pleased with himself that never fails to make me giggle. I can only describe the look as "I've just eaten my baby brother".

I remember getting a school photo done when I was about 6 years old, and my hair was a bit messy and my collar was sticking out (not something you’d pay attention to when you’re 6). My mother told me off when she received the photo, and still to this day I can’t understand the reaction.
Please tell your MIL to bugger off and under no circumstance to let your child hear her opinion.

It must vary between schools then because I've got 4 daughters ranging from 14yrs down to 7yrs, and over the years we've had a mixture of ties done up properly, top button done but the tie has come adrift somehow, and tie loose/top button undone. Tbh it doesn't bother me because that reflects how they look for school on a day to day basis!

Thank you! She's not so smiley at the moment to be honest. Grumpy girl 🙄